A Christmas Card...

[civilservant]

I got home tonight to find a Christmas card from the ex. It was nice, related to something we just to joke about when we were together. It simply said 'mErry Christmas and a great 2009 to your and yours, love Barb'

 

Its rather spun me a yarn, completely unexpected contact. Should I send one back? I was doing well up till now, and I don't know how she got my address.

 

I so didnt need this now. Advice please!

[HereIGoAgain]

Tough one this and there's been a few threads on sending cards at Christmas and other holidays. I think there's two camps, one is to stay NC if it's really over between you as far as you are concerned. The other is that as long as you won't be bothered by sending a card and have no expectations, then send a card.

 

What I plan to do is nothing should I receive a card, which I don't. The problem is that I see it as a reactionary thing that you wouldn't send a card unless they did which isn't the right reason to send one back. So if I receive one, then I receive one where if I was going to send one I'd have done it by now and not in response to receiving a card.

[TechResQ]

I got home tonight to find a Christmas card from the ex. It was nice, related to something we just to joke about when we were together. It simply said 'mErry Christmas and a great 2009 to your and yours, love Barb'

 

Its rather spun me a yarn, completely unexpected contact. Should I send one back? I was doing well up till now, and I don't know how she got my address.

 

I so didnt need this now. Advice please!

 

I think I would just let it go and not respond. Don't over think it. Just take it as though she wishes you well and leave it at that. Sounds to me as though she is half expecting a response for some reason.

 

I'm sorry this caught you so off guard. Try to stay strong and don't respond.

 

Unless, of course, you really want to.

 

God Bless...

[yankeefan74]

If you weren't going to send one before, I wouldn't do it now.

[civilservant]

Thanks for the advice guys, I just hate the 'to you and yours' I don't know why she wrote that, and it rankles. Any ideas?

 

Yours' right though, I'm in danger of Reading too much into it on its own. Still, it was pleasant I guess, if a little creepy that she got my address.

[lostandhurt]

What would be your motives for responding? I think being polite has gone out the window some time ago don't you think. If you had no intention of sending a card before you got one from her then why do it now. Keep looking out for yourself and your healing.

 

It sucks how the past keeps sucking us back in from time to time.

 

lost

[alli]

What is the joke between you two in that line?

 

Maybe "you & yours" means "you & your friends & family"?

[civilservant]

The more I read it the more it actually seems rather generic

[civilservant]

So I text her, and got yet another excuse for prolonged NC (despite me having intiated it) I told her I was done with excuses, done with waiting and caring. I've made the break no going back.... and do you know what? It was the right thing to do for me.