rina17 Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 Hello, So,i've met this girl online 5months ago,and we have talked on da phone for like 4 months. I fell so deeply for her.We are totall honest with each other(i've talked 2 her family and friends) We sent each other videos and pics.Basiclly we know eachother well. But recently ,I feel like paranoid. People tell me "ooo online relaionships dont work out,wen u meet". Why would someone say that when i am da same on da phone and as in person.. adivce? Link to comment
chick08 Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 what are you feeling paranoid about or is it because of what people are saying? Link to comment
rina17 Posted December 17, 2008 Author Share Posted December 17, 2008 wat people r saying.."oooo its not real feelings". its bull .seriously if i show her me,she knows me..i gutta say ppl in my real life dont know me half as well..so y would some1 ssay dat?](*,) Link to comment
chick08 Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 I dont know they could be jelous, some people just dnt like to see others get on. Only u know how u feel. Are you going to be meeting up any time soon? dont listen to what others say. I met my guy online and i was with him 3 years and it was long distance but i found out he was chatting to other women online when he was with me and i had trust issues with him he was also aggressive with me. All i can say is it takes longer then 5 months to get to know some one especially online. when me and him used to chat, send pic, spk on the phone everything was sweet we got on so well i was well into him. It wasnt till we met up and then a year on i saw what he was really like. Your relationship with this person could be totally different and it may be the start of something good. So whilst it is dont let people put u off if you are both happy and see how you go. Just be carefull ok. Link to comment
cruzer Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 Just meet her and find out? I dont think u guys have talked for 4 months for nothing and after u meet i would not see why it would not work, atleast for a period of time. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 The romantic feelings are real but they are based on the image of the person you have from typing and talking. If you want to see if you are compatible in person in a romantic way then it's best to meet in person and date consistently over a period of time - usually months. Typing and talking only gives part of the picture even if you are "the same' on the phone as in person and even if you are both being totally honest. For example, you don't know how she will treat you in person, or how you will react to her -- you've never made eye contact with her in person, you have no idea how she treats other people in person, or whether you click in person - feel chemistry, that is. You've never been around her when she is sick, when she is very happy, when she is mad, when she needs space. Same goes for her with respect to you. You might meet in person and discover that you click and want to keep seeing each other or dating, or you might meet and discover that while you clicked as far as typing and talking, in person it feels uncomfortable or off. That is because eye contact and body language, a person's presense can make a big difference in whether you click, no matter how long you've typed and talked. And, of course, in a romantic relationship, you need physical attraction which most often you can't tell by typing and talking. It also matters why you haven't met yet which might give you some insight as well. Some people prefer the safety and comfort that the barrier of a computer screen and a phone provide as opposed to meeting in person so they make excuses as to why they cannot meet yet. What is your reason/her reason? Link to comment
D_Lish Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 You wont know if there are 'real' feelings until you meet. People can look different and be different in real life and regardless of the 'connection' you have on the phone, you may not have that 'spark' in real life. It's best to meet, sooner rather than later. Why invest all that time, on someone with whom you may not 'click' with in real life? Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 Plenty of relationships that started online work out...so just follow your heart but make sure there is a solid plan to take the relationship you have now and move it forwards to face-to-face contact. Link to comment
rina17 Posted December 17, 2008 Author Share Posted December 17, 2008 well,i saw how she gets wen shes mad or hurt.or watever.so? Link to comment
rina17 Posted December 17, 2008 Author Share Posted December 17, 2008 i mean we get mad butterflies from eachother... everytime she has a hard time i make her feel better...thats who i am.... ooo we gunna meet soon(= Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 18, 2008 Share Posted December 18, 2008 well,i saw how she gets wen shes mad or hurt.or watever.so? No, you did not -- for purposes of a romantic relationship - because you haven't experienced any emotion she's had when she's in person with you, and you've never experienced any of the other things I wrote above in my post. You can feel butterflies, many things, from typing and talking but that doesn't mean that you'll feel any of those things in person - whole different ball game - you might feel exactly the same, you might not. It's good that you're planning to meet soon. Link to comment
rina17 Posted December 18, 2008 Author Share Posted December 18, 2008 ok,so basiclly u r tellling me i dont know anything about her?how she acts n so on](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,) Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 18, 2008 Share Posted December 18, 2008 ok,so basiclly u r tellling me i dont know anything about her?how she acts n so on](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,) No that's not what I wrote. I simply said that for purposes of compatibility for a romantic relationship you don't know essential things about her in person and you don't know if you will click in person or have chemistry in person. You can know her very well as a chat buddy, as a friend, as a penpal. Link to comment
rina17 Posted December 18, 2008 Author Share Posted December 18, 2008 so even so i know how she acts wen shes mad? meaning,maybe shes acts diffrent wen shes mad in person...thats wat ur tryin 2 say? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 18, 2008 Share Posted December 18, 2008 so even so i know how she acts wen shes mad? meaning,maybe shes acts diffrent wen shes mad in person...thats wat ur tryin 2 say? With all respect to you, I have tried to explain a few times now what my post says. I think my post is as clear as I can make the post -- the one above, with the examples I gave (and those were just examples). But, yes, the way someone acts in person - whatever the emotion - is essential to know about in order to know whether you're compatible for a romantic relationship. not just "mad" or "sad" - the whole range of emotions. But, please re-read my post above and that should make it clear, ok? Link to comment
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