he thinks of his ex when he is sad!!!

[jopi]

I have this boyfriend for past one and a half year. He is really sweet and nice to me....

 

However, we have a lot of conflicts over his ex GF. They were together for close to 7 years. He left her on the ground that he no longer feel for her. However, his ex still loves him alot and is still waiting for him to go back to her. She will call him, msg him and try to meet up with him.

 

I think he secretly met up with her a few times....i catch him once and he promised he will never do it again. He said she is the past but he just cannot bear to reject her. She was really nice to him when they were together.

 

I got over it but recently, I found that he created a secret wall paper saying that he is sorry, he is a bastard and he will love her till the end of time.

 

I confronted him and he said he was feeling very down and he was just reminising about his past and what he said to her.

 

He said he really love me and she is the past.

 

I feel that I cannot trust him anymore but I really love him a lot.....

 

What can i do????

[MrDraw]

Hi Jopi,

 

It's difficult to let things go in which you believed en have loved so long, it don't mather what it is.

A relationship which lasted for almost 7 years is though to let go, undoubtedly when the relationship ended in a good way.

 

But if your BF loves you as he says he does, then he has to let her go.

If he keeps going back to here and give her a lot of attention......, well I would doubt him very much. Trust is the basis upon which a relationship is built. And in my opinion you can't trust him really.

You said you've talked about it with him, but still you keep getting those signals about his interest for his ex-GF. That makes me wonder...?

If you can deal with the thought of him having "feelings" and interest in his ex-GF, then maybe you should stay together.

But really...., think it over, do you want him in this way, can you really trust him, do you really love him so much that wathever he feels or does for/with his ex-GF, you still want him.

I don't think so.

He should make you feel you're special, that you're the one, etc.

 

Talk about it with your best friend, your parents, or somebody else you trust, and make your dicision.

 

I hope you'll find your way. I wish you well!!

 

Greetz,

MrDraw

[jopi]

Thanks for sharing....

 

indeed, i really feel tormented by all these....i love him so much and i want to spend the rest of my life with him but i just can't seem to escape her shadow....

 

 

i want to end the whole thing...but he is still very sweet and care a lot for him.....he will msg me now and then and even book a resort during "V" day to spend some time with me.....

 

He actually cried seeing how much he has hurt me but then...

 

though he thinks of her sometime, i believe their contact is very minimal...

 

for us, we almost do everything together....we love to dance and we spend a lot of time dancing with each other....

 

 

I am really in a dilemma.....i don't know what to do....how I wish there is some pill that can make me forget about the past.....

[jopi]

is it really so diificult for a man to get over his first real love.

 

 

Could it be that he really love me but is just that first love will always has a place in his heart.....

 

should i be more generous????

[Michael2]

Alright Jopi, I am going to be very blunt here.

 

This guy, is probably EXTREMELY confused. Trust me.

 

Yes, it is difficult to get over your first love, but if someone offers you their heart, you damn well better not play games, which he is. He may not mean to, but his heart is still on his ex. Why would he talk to her, for friendship, doubt it. He probably hasnt completely gotten over here yet, which is very unfortunate.

 

I know you dont want to play second fiddle, but from what I have read and from life experience you unfortunately are.

 

I know he has tried to stop the contact, but lets be honest here, if you dont want to talk to someone then YOU DONT. Its not that difficult, you change your number, change your email, and if she somehow finds another way to contact her, you flip the proverbial bird. But unfortunately he isnt DOING this , which is a HUGE red flag in my book.

 

You two have been dating for a year and a half which is very long time.

 

Im sorry if this post is too blunt, but you have to be VERY careful from now on. You have to take some time and really think if this is all worth it. I honestly dont think it is. I have been where you are, and they pretty much all end the same.

 

If I was in your boat, I would say this. STOP talking to her or I will leave you! Thats the bottom line here.