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OMG! he was having an affair all along

tina-rocks

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tina-rocks Contributor

tina-rocks

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can't believe it.....

 

He has been having an affair this whole time. Over 2 years making my life a living nightmare during this time. The girl is in her 20s and he has been showing up at gigs and all sorts with her. It seems I literally was the last to find out about this.

 

The Decree N was already announced on Monday and I only found out about this last night so not sure what to do...

 

He did not come back here as I told him I knew but he is threatening to come back at some point today.

 

OMG I just can't get my head wrapped around this. I mean I thought he was having an affair as it simply did not add up him all of a sudden announcing he no longer loved me but to have it confirmed and know this is the real reason for my divorce makes me feel so sick.

 

God I can't breathe the air feels so thick I feel like I'm drowning in it.

 

How could he do this to me. All I did was love him and try to be there for him and be a good wife. I was never unfaithful always stayed true to the love and kept to my marriage vows.

 

I can't handle this pain it's way too much to bare.

 

help me!

 

 

Tina

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doyathink Mentor

doyathink

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Tina,

He has no integrity! He's an immature child, who will get his wake up call. Believe that. My ex cheated on me three times that I know of....probably more. You can't see it now, but he did you a favor by leaving. He's not the man you thought you knew. He hid behind a fake personality to fool you into thinking he was a loving, caring man.

He isn't.

You're now free to find that man who can and will give you the love you deserve. He'll get his. Karma will make sure of that. You get what you give out in this life. Pity the fool.

You'll soon see that life doesn't end with our ex's. It's actually a fresh, new beginning. One that you haven't traveled yet....but you will.

Take it a day at a time. Get through one day, then rest. You can't rush this sort of thing...but every new day you will feel growth.

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tina-rocks Contributor

tina-rocks

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Thanks everyone for your support. It means so much to me.

 

I just can't believe he was so heartless. He waited till I had to have the hysterectomy to tell me he no longer loved me. Yet it was all lies. He was having an affair the whole time.

 

God he sunk so low doing this I don't know who he is anymore.

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littlestar Proficient

littlestar

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Thanks everyone for your support. It means so much to me.

 

I just can't believe he was so heartless. He waited till I had to have the hysterectomy to tell me he no longer loved me. Yet it was all lies. He was having an affair the whole time.

 

God he sunk so low doing this I don't know who he is anymore.

 

I dont think even he knows what he has created in himself.

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tina-rocks Contributor

tina-rocks

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I do now. It's just a shame it took 17 years to find this out.

 

I guess you learn life's lessons the hard way sometimes.

 

At least I know your right. Better to know the truth then be misguided by lies.

 

It makes more sense to me now. Just seemed so wrong now everything fits into place.

 

 

 

 

At least u can recoginize it and accept this is what he has done to you and this is the person he has come. This will be the part that eventually helps you to heal and move on.
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lostandhurt Grand Master

lostandhurt

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Tina,

After all this we find ourselves in the same boat. I know the betrayal you feel all to well. It will take some time for you to fully accept that the person you devoted your heart to could so simply do this to you and your marriage. Like mine this was not some drunken mistake but a calculated move to be the most selfish person you will ever meet. As the others have said you are better off without him but it does not ease the pain and disbelief of what has happened.

 

This divorce was never about you or how good a women or wife you were. It was about a man (I use that term loosely) that is so insecure and unhappy with himself he uses others to try and fullfil his shortcomings as a man and human being.

 

The one thing you need to remember is this not about the past anymore. You have all the answers you will ever need. This is about your life now and the path you will take to find the kind of happiness that we all desire. It will be scary with a lot of unknowns for sure, but I know you can do it. You were very young when you first married and you are not that person anymore. It is time to live your life for you and only you, to do the things you dreamt of that time never allowed you to pusue.

 

For me knowing almost everything helped some but hurt so much more....

 

lost

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Cynder Grand Master

Cynder

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After ayear of acting weird and putting me through an emotional wringer... My ex boyfriend told me (after six years together) that he was moving to Texas to be with a girl he met on the internet. That he never met her in person, but that he was in love with her and they were going to start a family together. And his being in love with her was the reason for acting so weird the passed year. And all his friends knew about her. They had all talked to her on the phone and on IM. Even his parents and his sister knew. And they all acted completely normal when I was around, knowing all along he was planning on shafting me. Like you, I was the last to know.

 

So, I know exactly how you are feeling right now. When he told me this it was like I was in shock for several hours. I just couldn't even comprehend how this happened. Unfortunately the numbness left me when I was at work that night and I had a helacious crying fit. It was a factory job, I ran a machine that was ten feet tall back in a corner, so no one saw me except for my boss, who imediately sent me home.

 

He went to Texas to be with his beloved, and was back up here in two days. The girl he was going down there to be with was supposed to be some beautiful busty blond 21 year old. And, long story short, she wasn't. (I wish she would have been a guy, that would have been the ultimate justice.) But he came back up here and begged me to take him back. I told him where to go.

 

But I'm sorry for telling you all this. I know hearing this little chapter in my life doesn't help you any.

 

What you are feeling now, that drowning feeling, that shock will go away and the emotion will kick in. I think when the numb feeling goes away and you feel actual emotions is better. They are bad emotions, but at least you are feeling.

 

I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. Hugz

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tina-rocks Contributor

tina-rocks

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OH No I am so sorry you have had to endure this.. I can truly understand your pain and I can feel it in your words truly I can.

 

It's hard to understand how the people we love the most can hurt us this way.

 

Thank you so much for your support. It's selfless of you considering your own pain.

 

 

Tina x x x

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