Am I giving too much?

[bubbletoes9]

Hey guys,

 

I have a really good relationship with my boyfriend, we do the long distance thing and been through some tough times but its really good now. Just one question though, every now and then I feel really really needy towards him, I dunno its like I'm missing something in the relationship. Often its when I've been doing most of the driving/seeing his friends and family etc, but not much the other way round.

 

THe last four weeks I have been down at hs place the majority of the time, and been out with his friends every week. Reason for this is I have finished college and he is working full time. He appreciates me and I like seeing his friends, but then when I am back home during the week I feel really frustrated and needy when he's not around. I want him to come see me a day early but he cant cos of work, then all weekend it's family stuff (my family this time) for Xmas. Why do I get so frustrated and upset? Am I giving more?

[Sn0man]

I can see why you'd feel a bit upset, and you could say it is a bit one sided. But like you say he does have work. Though is he getting some time of at Christmas? I'm sure you could convince him to come see you then and then it wouldn't be so one sided.

[Botched]

Sounds like you are giving and essentially joining his world while yours gets left behind or goes unrecognized by him. I would absolutely talk with him and share your need to share your world with him. That is a great way to establish that you will stay connected to your world.

[savignon]

You're feeling needy b/c you need something from him. Talk to him about it and see what he's willing to give. You may find your justified in feeling it's one-sided or you may find he's willing to give more than he currently is. Only one way to find out....

[NJRon]

One of the hardships of a LDR is being self-reliant enough to give yourself what you normally seek in a relationship without the distance. It can be quite tough. How long have you been together? Have you two made plans on how you will be moving closer together?

[bubbletoes9]

Thanks guys, I've been thinking and talking with him about this this week and feel a bit better. I've been with him 7 months on Christmas day. We are talking about moving closer, but I will have to make the move to him because he cant walk away from his business, and isn't in a position to sell it yet. There isn't much work for me down there- I'd have to start my own business there too.

 

He wants to be able to be up here in my world but its just difficult due to circumstances. I just don't want to end up resentful because at the moment it is one sided although not really because he doesn't want to give- circumstances just arent making it possible... Thanks for your advice guys. We have talked about making more serious plans to be together- he will know in the next twelve months whether he is going to sell his business or if it will start to turn around and be successful soon...