Looking for Some Input

[Hoosier]

First time poster so I will give you a little detail about my situation.

 

Dated a girl for three years, started dating when she moved out prior to her divorce. We were friends before our relationship started. She has always wanted to get back with her ex so some of the issues we had began there.

 

All the while she has been seeing her ex with his new girl. Think she finally realized that being with him was not going to happen. In the mean time she tells me she cant have a relationship with me. Next thing I know she is in a new realtionship with this guy and it is moving pretty fast which is unlike her.

 

We have been apart for a little over two months and I have been in NC for all of that time with the exception of two phone calls including the one today.

 

The reason for the call today is we both work at a bar as a part time job (me the manager and her the bartender). We do not work together but the owner has been coming down on all of us about cost savings. Her name has been coming up in the conversation as one of the people who needs to change their ways. Also heard that she had said that I was bad mouthing her! I initially sent and e-mail but the conversation was better handled over the phone. She had mentioned to the boss that she could not work with me because I was bad mouthing her.

 

Here is were I need some advice.

 

The conversation stayed strictly worked related. I told her that I never bad mouthed her to anyone. I told her that yes I understood that we werent together but I would never throw her under the bus, that I wasnt out for revenge and that I in no way wanted to hurt her.

 

I told her what the situation was at the bar and that she need to look outside the box to figure out who had it out for her.

 

Here is what is confusing. Right after I get off the phone with her she changes her myspace mood to careful and he message as "I need to look outside the box"! Also I mentioned in the email that the feeling was mutaul that we not work together and her response was "So seeing that you don't want to work with me either then I will not volunteer for Christmas Eve"!

 

It was a deep conversation that we havent had in a long while. I told her to realize that I wouldnt do thast to her, said I hope things are well and that I would talk to her later. She said thanks for the call and we hung up.

 

Just wondering...am I reading to much into this. It is hard to explain her demeaner on the phone but it was like old conversations. There were silences on the phone when i told her I would never do this to her.

 

The myspace thing was what blew my mind. She even convenently told me where she was going to be Christmas Eve and that the BF would not be there. Think she was upset when I acted like I didnt care if we worked together. Just everythjing put together was a little weird.

 

How do I go from here? Do i go to LC in a few weeks? Do I go to the party? I do think she misses me and this new guy really seems like a rebound.

 

Hope this all makes sense!! Just need some thoughts from you folks!

[theadvicenut]

It sounds to me as if she wants you at her convience, it also sounds as if she is trying to test your limits with her. it's almost as if she's a tease or trying to see how much you care for her. think about it if she has a boyfriend why would she tell you where her boyfriend isnt going to be on xmas eve. be careful with this young lady.

[savignon]

Do you want to be the guy she's sneaking around with on Xmas Eve?? She's not available for a relationship, and it seems like a relationship is something you'd be interested in.

[Hoosier]

Lets throw out the Chritmas eve thing. Am I reading to much into this conversation? What about the NC or LC? The myspace? I have been doing great in NC. Dont think this is a set back but would like to have her back

[Hoosier]

OK now she has switched her schedule to work with me tonight! She called to let me know and told me that her BF wanted to come in but she told him not too!!

 

How do I handle this evening?

[huskiesfan]

Be careful. She is definitely trying to start something with you behind her bf's back, and that opens up a whole world of trouble. Try to steer clear of her tonight. Ill bet you $10 the boyfriend's probably a little interested in why she told him not to come in, so you never know, he might come in anyways. Be careful.