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Hello my ENA friends!


It's been awhile since I updated on my situation. (kind of long)


She is 22 and I'm 31yrs old. 4 year relationship.


Well, it's been a year today since my ex broke up w/ me. Yes, I did all the wrong things begging, crying, calling/text, etc.! A BIG mistake! I panicked and I was desperate to get her back which in return made her hate me even more! I was devastated and went threw hell from all this. I was a mess for a long time! I was lost and had no guidance until I found ENA!


Her reason for breaking up (at first) were I am not ready to have a family, moving in with her cousin, wants to travel, etc. Plans I never knew of! I was surprised by it all! Later she tells me she can't trust me and gave me more reasons which aren't true! I did something 2 years ago that I regret (spoke to a girl on the phone). She forgave me for that but she turned around and smashed it in my face again. I felt guilty afterwards and begged her for foregiveness AGAIN! I hated myself for the break up. She caused me pain and on top of that I was hurting myself, as well! It was the worst. I lost my gf plus rejection..oh my that was too much for me to bare!


Anyways, when I found ENA I was nervous to post, but eventually I did. I received so much advice! I heard about NC and I said, I can't do that..impossible! I went against everything that I was told not to do! I didn't know better. I thought talking to her and holding on to everything would help me. I really thought she would snap out of it. I thought trying to be friends would make her realize what she did. It never worked! Nothing worked!


She left me to rot by myself, she moved out of state, she was still playing with my head calling me, texting me about random stuff. I was so confused (I thought she was realizing she made a mistake)! Now I understand why NC is the direction to take!


In July I decided enough is enough! I had to break all obstacles and move on! She called me twice end of July/ early Aug. I ignored both calls! It was tough but I understood then that it was the best thing for me to do. I wasted almost 1 year of my life chasing something that was impossible! I don't have any regrets because I poured my heart to her and told her that I loved her immensely and that I would do anything to make her happy before she left out of state. Nothing got through to her! She was impenetrable! She became someone I didn't know anymore. Sad but true!


I went NC and have been healing for 4-5months now and I'm feeling better eventhough the break was a 1 year ago. I blocked her from Facebook (still is) and I don't have the urge to look anymore. I deleted her from my phone book/email. Deleted ALL pics of her! Boxed everything that reminds me of her. I have yet to say goodbye to that box. I am not healed 100% but I can say 75-80% for sure! I never thought I would be where I am today.


Throughout the year I have read relationship books (been on ENA, as well), I've gone to the gym, got closer to my parents, I've opened my heart to God! (huge for me), I have learned to appreciate the smallest things in life, learned to love myself, help others more in need, set goals for 2009 I pretty much totally changed in a positive way! I haven't dated. I've had offers, but I know that I have to cleanse first before I can go date again without being attached to ANYTHING! That's the best option people! The rebound thing you hear alot here is just not the right way to go. Take care of yourself first and the rest will follow!


My friends..for those who are heartbroken at the moment please know that everything will work out even if it's not the outcome you are hoping for, but trust me things will work out! It takes dedication and hard work you are the only one who can decide how long this pain lasts for. You create your own destiny. Let your ex go if that's what they want then give it to them. There is absolutely nothing else you can do about it! If they come back then it will be they who decide and not you trying to twist their arm to getting back together! Focus on yourself because you are the most important thing! What's done, is done!


I encourage everyone to cherish what they have and not take things for granted because as much as it might hurt to hear it can be taken from us in a heart beat! Be true to yourself.


Are you wondering if I would take her back? If you asked me 4-5 months ago I would say, YES in a heart beat! Now, I'm not even sure anymore. I have had time to think about things and I can think clearly now. I'm putting myself first!


I want to thank everyone here at ENA! I am very grateful for everything. You guys pushed me to get a hold of my life again and I will never forget that! I will treasure this forever!


Thanks everyone for taking the time to read this!


I hope everyone is doing well and God bless!




P. S. There is hope! Just have faith and be patient!

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Good job sometimes it takes longer to realize NC is the way to heal. In the end it always does heal the people who stick to it.


It is working for me and it has only been three months since my breakup.


Keep it up mate! You will get there. Just keep on doing what you are doing and you will be fine. Good luck!



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Hey Gee!


Nice one fella - sounds like you really are getting there - good for you mate.


Just a pity you are still supporting that cr@ppy team - I am sure we can sort out some therapy for that!




Thanks Mark! I still laugh when you told me if it was you having dinner with my ex she'd be wearing her dinner, hahaha. Too funny! Good stuff mate. Also, thanks for your words you are very wise!


Hahaha. I had a funny feeling your last sentence would be about my cr@ppy team. If I remember you are a Chelsea fan. I think they have the winning "away" games down packed. Now, they have to firgure out a way how to win at Stamford Bridge.






Gunner for life!

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That's great...very encouraging to others going through the process.




You were one of the first ones to respond to my post when I 1st came here. I appreciate you words of wisdom! You get to the point! Some people don't like it, but you are just speaking the truth that's all!


Thank you!



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