How much contact should I give my mom if I were to have any future childern with bf?

[RoxyGril]

I have posted quite a bit of what the issues I am dealing with my mom. Well, she obvisiously does not like my bf at all. It hurts me that she doesn't appect him because he is a really great guy and treats me really well. I am completely happy with him and our relationship is going really great.

 

Well, I no longer staying in my mom's house so I have been between my dad's and bf's house for the past 2 to 3 weeks right now. I do plan on renting a room from my aunts house right after Christmas. Anyways, I went to go visit my mom, step dad, brother and sister for a short while. Thing's went amazingly well except my mom did say something negagtive to me.

 

She told me that she wouldn't accept my bf as a son-in-law if we do get married and that she won't be a mother-in-law to him. That hurt a bit but I know that she is the kind of person to be like that. If you have read my past threads that I've posted you'll probably get a better idea of how she is. Though she is a very negagtive, hard-headed, self-centered and arrgent person.

 

When we do get married whenever that may happen I will have to accept that and know at least I do have my dad's side of the family who accepts him. So, I guess that's all I need and luckfully that my dad's side of the family is rather large.

 

If, my bf and I ever decided to have childern someday down the road. Should I allow my mom to see my future childern especially how she is? I would probably allow her to see them but only a limited time. If she makes it a big deal about it. Isn't my bf and I's decision on how much contact she get with them because of how she badly treats my bf and myself?

[RoxyGril]

Gotta be careful about not allowing the kids to see grandparents. In some states they can get visitation, just as if you were getting a divorce type thing.

 

Sorry to hear about your mom not approving, but are there valid reasons for her distaste of him?

 

It won' be to the point where she wouldn't get to see them at all. But, just maybe only a certain amount of time within a day(s). I wouldn't just say that she wouldn't be allowed to see them at all. I would want more respect from her towards my future husband and that he is apart of my life and same with future childern.

 

She doesn't like him for various ridulous reasons which she critizies:

 

*He's a little overweight but not bad all.

 

*She thinks that he doesn't want to commit to me and that he doesn't love me. Which is not true because he has committed especially dealing with her s**t for the past 1 1/2 yrs that we have been together.

 

*She thinks that he's changed me and that's not true due to I am becoming an adult and that I have grown and as well as experincing more opporunities.

 

*She compares him to my older sister's bf from over 7 yrs ago. Don't understand why she does that when my bf and my sisters ex are totally the oppsite.

 

*Last year I went out with some friends and my bf and had some drinks. Well, turns out that I had to much to drink and couldn't drive home. So, my bf called my parents and said "you know where she is at. If you want to come pick her up you can and if not then she is staying here and I will bring her home in the morning." We were just trying to do the right thing and to be safe. She did not like that at all and from then on she stopped liking him. Seems to me she hasn't move on from things that has happened in the past.

 

Those are just some of the things why she doesn't like him. But, there are a bunch of things she nit picks at for no particular reason though.