dcgirl Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 So I've been on a few dates with a guy I met through an online dating site. And I actually like him. But everytime I check out his profile he is online. It's to the point where I'm looking every hour and he is online all day long every day. What is everyone's thoughts on this? It bothers the hell out of me!! Am I wrong for being annoyed by it? I knwo I shoudl just stop looking but I dont have that kind of self control! Link to comment
dcgirl Posted December 16, 2008 Author Share Posted December 16, 2008 I am tempted to say something about it. Should I? Like in a joking around kind of way? Link to comment
tsarevnaelena Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 So I've been on a few dates with a guy I met through an online dating site. And I actually like him. But everytime I check out his profile he is online. It's to the point where I'm looking every hour and he is online all day long every day. What is everyone's thoughts on this? It bothers the hell out of me!! Am I wrong for being annoyed by it? I knwo I shoudl just stop looking but I dont have that kind of self control! Hmm. What bothers you about it? The idea that even though he has been out with you a few times, he appears to still be "looking"? I'm not sure. I know there are several schools of thought on this, but I'd be bothered, too, if a guy I met through a site and went on multiple (for me, that'd be about 4) dates with was still looking around. For me personally, four dates is enough to determine whether a relationship is feasible or not. Anything else feels like I'm being strung along. So if you have been on about 4 dates with this guy and this is happening, I can see why you'd be upset. Do you see this moving toward a relationship? Has he indicated that he is, at this moment, interested in having a relationship with someone and not just casual dating? Link to comment
Loki71 Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 if he is on all the time and your checking to see if he is on every hour doesn't that mean your on all the time too? sorry just had to ask that. Myabe he just didn't log off or he left it on and went out? But If you really want to know then yeah ask him. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 He may have just left his computer on and is logged in. Many people do that on sites that don't kick you off after a while of no activity. lost Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 It might not mean he is there all the time. Maybe he left it open? yup. and if you can see him online all day...he can see you online all day? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 if he is on all the time and your checking to see if he is on every hour doesn't that mean your on all the time too? sorry just had to ask that. Myabe he just didn't log off or he left it on and went out? But If you really want to know then yeah ask him. my question exactly. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 ^^^^ yeah, and he probably just left it open on his computer. eNA probably says I'm online all the time, but in reality it's up on my computer but a lot of times I'm really doing something else Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 Hmm. What bothers you about it? The idea that even though he has been out with you a few times, he appears to still be "looking"? I'm not sure. I know there are several schools of thought on this, but I'd be bothered, too, if a guy I met through a site and went on multiple (for me, that'd be about 4) dates with was still looking around. For me personally, four dates is enough to determine whether a relationship is feasible or not. Anything else feels like I'm being strung along. So if you have been on about 4 dates with this guy and this is happening, I can see why you'd be upset. Do you see this moving toward a relationship? Has he indicated that he is, at this moment, interested in having a relationship with someone and not just casual dating? i never heard of the 4 date rule.....I always had other ways to measure a relationship. I must remember that Link to comment
dcgirl Posted December 16, 2008 Author Share Posted December 16, 2008 Well, yes....when I noticed he was online everytime I logged in, I started going to the site specifically to see if he was online. I haven't necessarily logged in every time, but I can do a search and see him. I know he can't possibly be on this site 9 hours a day straight so he must be logged in but away from his computer, but even so....I have dated other guys on there and never seen anything like this before. He is 4 months out of a 4 yr relationship but I'm wondering if this online dating this is a way of rebounding for him. Link to comment
tsarevnaelena Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 He is 4 months out of a 4 yr relationship but I'm wondering if this online dating this is a way of rebounding for him. Um, danger. Big red flags. If he did the breaking up, it's possible he's like a kid in a candy store, looking at all the offerings while not taking any very seriously. If he got dumped, it is very likely he's looking for a rebound. Please be very careful with this man. This additional info makes me think that one way or another, he's not really ready for another relationship right now. Link to comment
dcgirl Posted December 16, 2008 Author Share Posted December 16, 2008 Hmm. What bothers you about it? The idea that even though he has been out with you a few times, he appears to still be "looking"? I'm not sure. I know there are several schools of thought on this, but I'd be bothered, too, if a guy I met through a site and went on multiple (for me, that'd be about 4) dates with was still looking around. For me personally, four dates is enough to determine whether a relationship is feasible or not. Anything else feels like I'm being strung along. So if you have been on about 4 dates with this guy and this is happening, I can see why you'd be upset. Do you see this moving toward a relationship? Has he indicated that he is, at this moment, interested in having a relationship with someone and not just casual dating? Yes, it's that idea, but it's also that he almost seems desperate. I've never seen anyone I've dated on this site be online quite like him. We've only been on 2 dates but that is because of my doing. He's asked me out 3 or 4 more times and I've been unavailable. I could see this going towards a relationship, I do really like this guy but this coupled with the fact that he's fresh out of a long term relationship is scaring me away. He hasn't indicated that he wants to be more than casual with anyone. I haven't asked...thought it was too much too soon. Maybe I will give it two more dates and monitor his activity...thanks for your input!! Link to comment
ghost69 Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 well, you aren't exclusive. right? Link to comment
dcgirl Posted December 16, 2008 Author Share Posted December 16, 2008 Um, danger. Big red flags. If he did the breaking up, it's possible he's like a kid in a candy store, looking at all the offerings while not taking any very seriously. If he got dumped, it is very likely he's looking for a rebound. Please be very careful with this man. This additional info makes me think that one way or another, he's not really ready for another relationship right now. Yes, according to him he did the breaking up. So should I start NC? I was thinking red flags too! Link to comment
FoxLocke Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 This has happened to me once. I dated a guy I met online. Well, long story short, he was always pissed off at me because I seemed to always be online. The fact of the matter was...I just left my computer on all day, no more no less. I'm the only person in the known universe still using a dial up internet connection, thereforee it is easier for me to leave the PC on all the time as opposed to dialing in... So, don't automatically presume that he is still cruising the site looking for dates. He may just log in automatically. Link to comment
hers Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 My POF and OKC look like I'm on all the time. Anything I get mail in, I just leave open on a tab in my browser but I'm not necessariyl on it. In fact, I only check them a couple times a day but it looks lik eI'm on all the time. He is probably leaving his computer open with the same thing. I don't think necessarily being out of a relationship for 4 months signifies a rebound. Are you guys in a relationship together? Hae you gotten physical with him? It seems like you have trust issues, to be honest with you. Maybe bordering on the obsessive side? Just a thought. Link to comment
Pegasus Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 Yes, according to him he did the breaking up. So should I start NC? I was thinking red flags too! Wow, some people here are ready to cut off people on number of meaningless reasons. It really really scares me what this world has become... Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 how do you know he is infact online. perhaps he just leaves his computer on all the time. On myspace it constantly shows im online when infact im not, i either just leave my computer on or the fact that when the website or program reads the IP address still active, it will show that someone is online. I wouldnt read to into it but you can bring it up jokingly if you want. Link to comment
laisla Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 some people leave their computers on and their websites open. i do. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 When I met people through on line sites I didn't log on while at work but I wanted to stay on top of the search results on the site, so I left myself logged in all day at home although I wasn't active on it for any of that time. I did that unless I was exclusively dating someone. Link to comment
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