Anger management

[Cin77]

I get so stressed knowing that I made some bad choices in my life. I am overwhelmed by the amount of responsibilities I have. I get so angry and feel so out of control that I punch myself in the stomach, in the head, and in the chest when I'm alone. I stay awake at night crying and feeling hopeless. I don't know how to calm myself down or how to accept my current situation that my life turned out exactly the way I didn't want it to. Please advise.

[Sn0man]

Well, hurting yourself physically certainly isn't going to do anything for healing yourself mentally.

 

What is it about your life that makes you hate yourself so much?

[sarey]

Possibly go to your doctor and ask for some anger management classes - I had this, and though it didn't help, it may help you. I also had CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) - this may help you cope better with life.

 

Hurting yourself may help in the short run (I'd know, been a self harmer since 7/8 years old), but in the long run, it's dangerous, the methods will get worse, punching could turn to other methods like burning/cutting (which are both VERY dangerous and could cost lives), though all methods have dangers, like punching yourself could break bones and may cause internal bleeding, but cutting could catch a vein/artery, and burning could become severe enough which could lead to infections - then amputation.

 

I hope you get the right help to deal with your stress and anger.

[Cin77]

The thing is I don't have time to go to a CBT class. What are some things they tell you in those type of classes?

 

One of my problems is I feel that I married the wrong guy. We have a child and I know he loves me and loves our child, but I'm beginning to realize that love just isn't enough. Instead of helping to relieve the stress and workload he piles onto it to. If I didn't have a child with him I think I probably would have left him already, but because we have a child and a house together I'm trying my best to see this marriage through which may or not be such a good choice.

[sarey]

Have you thought about marriage counselling?

 

CBT ... uh... I had a few classes, but not enough to know(or remember more like) about it... but it's useful... I just am a stubborn one and gave up on it. It was originally for my ADHD but then OCD and then I just thought "screw it".

 

MAKE time for classes. MAKE time for YOURSELF. You NEED to help yourself. Focus on yourself. Relieve this tension, this stress. Bottling it up won't do no good. Get in contact with your doctor and tell him/her about your current situation - see where they can take you and if anything is available.

 

Just before Xmas must be even more stressful...

[Cin77]

thanks for the encouragement, but having no time for myself is the problem. My husband works long hours and that is why I don't have time to go to theraputic sessions or to marriage counseling. And, if we went to counseling together we wouldn't have anyone to watch our baby. It's complicated and unfortunate for me.

 

I went to see a psychologist once and I thought it was a complete waste of time. It seems that you felt the same about some of your sessions. That is why I decided to try this forum to see if anyone actually found something that works and can pass that knowledge onto me...

 

btw I think I am developing OCD as well... which definitely isn't helpful...

[sarey]

Can you get a family member to take care of your baby once a while? Or a baby sitter?

 

I have been with CAMHS (Children&Adolescent Mental Health Services) since I was about 7. However, compared to how I was back then, counselling HAS helped A LOT. Not all experiences are dim and useless. Some can be quite good and helpful.

 

It's worth a try.

[girl friend]

thanks for the encouragement, but having no time for myself is the problem. My husband works long hours and that is why I don't have time to go to theraputic sessions or to marriage counseling. And, if we went to counseling together we wouldn't have anyone to watch our baby. It's complicated and unfortunate for me.

 

I went to see a psychologist once and I thought it was a complete waste of time. It seems that you felt the same about some of your sessions. That is why I decided to try this forum to see if anyone actually found something that works and can pass that knowledge onto me...

 

btw I think I am developing OCD as well... which definitely isn't helpful...

 

 

These are all coping mechanisms, ocd and that.

 

How old are u? if you don't mind my asking.

 

Seeing a psychologist once is nothing to go on though hun!! Nothing at all. The first few sessions are always just assessment anyways.

 

CBT - that basically works for certain problems; some eating disorders, certain mood disorders, certain forms of depression...

 

Its about changing rigid and inflexible beliefs into something more manageable and teaching the person more helpful ways to cope. E.g. if you have perfectionistic thoughts that you can't live up to such as "I must be liked by everyone i encounter" its not going to happen, no one could, so they teach you to see though these kinda eyes "a lot of people like me and they are the people that matter, more people like me than dislike me" etc. Cbt can't change your situation, just your perception...

[Cin77]

I'm in my mid 30s. I used to hit myself since I was a teenager, but it was rare. I have talked to my husband since I last responded and surprisingly he's willing to see marriage counseling with me. I think that he thinks i'm going through some kind of prolonged post partum, but i think it's more than that. I guess we'll see from counselling what they say. Thanks for the encouragement =)

[girl friend]

nice job.

stay open in the counselling. you might have to go over a lot of ground , and a lot of the past. the earliest past... to find out where these patterns started and how you can stop them