is there any chance?

[cb663]

well, i met this girl a few weeks ago i have posted about her. i've been making alot of effort to try and be nice and caring towards her. well maybe something is just not there, i saw today she has posted another thing on this dating site. wednesday she came over and it was not good. she got on my nerves big time, i forgot to ask her how her day was as soon as she came over, but w/e i apologized and what not. saturday she came over and i had gotten her somethin to surprise her nothing crazy. she stayed over, then we got breakfast. everything seemed to be going fine, and then i notice this post today. what the hell? what course of action should i take? im very confused now.

 

i just waned to add a few things, she still has me in her top on myspace, and i saw a bulletin about random questions and i know for a fact a few of them are me. this was done on the same day as this new ad on the dating site. i forget what they said but its things like "how often do you see the person you like" she has not enough.

[lana111]

unless you guys have decided the two of you are going to be with only each other (the talk) then i dont think you should be mad. dating is dating. you can date one or a few people up until you have decided you are going to be committed to each other.

 

but btw... a lil off topic... who gets mad for not having someone ask how their day was... especially when you just began to date?!

[cb663]

well we had talked about relationships, we both want something serious. neither of us want to "date" casually i guess you could say. im not mad, just very very confused. we had our first date the 1st of this month and have seen eachother 5 or 6 times since then. she has slept over 3 times. we talk every day, she always sends me nice texts, but the past few days she hasnt. which i found odd, i asked her about it and she said she was just having a bad week. we made plans yesterday for her to come over saturday and she wanted to stay over, and then at some point before that i was gonna go see her. this is why im beyond confused. i really have no clue what to think about this lol.

 

wednesday went something like this, i was laying on the couch and she came in and sat down in the chair. and i said "no hug?" and her response was "your not going to ask me how my day was?" and i replied "sorry i was gettin there, how was your day" and she did the whole "im not going to tell you" but dragged it out beyond anything normal. also kept reminding me how mad she was with a smirk on her face. we had went to the store to get food and i bought it, even though i didnt want to. it is safe to say i was highly irritated that night. she ended up not staying over which we had planned.

[lana111]

just tell her how you feel..

 

you cant go wrong with that.

[cb663]

what do i tell her? she knows i like her. saturday/sunday and today i have tried to be extra nice because i knew i was kind of a jerk wednesday. this is most likely a waste of time, as every other girl has been in my life. i never seem to do the right thing, either i am too caring, or not caring enough. its usually always something that i dont get right.

[lana111]

tell her what you told us. that you really like her and but you noticed she posted on the dating site and you were wondering where you guys stand.

[knightNshiningarmor]

dude seriously in need of some introspection. Some personal advice from what little i can see from here but id seriously advise being careful to not come off to needy or desperate...be careful to not put her on a pedestal...think of it this way...girl wants a knight in shining armor yes? but the knight saved her from dragons and evil warlords, not from dinner and how are your days dilemmas. What i am saying is that you have every right to be pissed at her reaction as she does for you not asking...imo i would go a little quite and let her do a little chasing...women should do just as much as we do and if they wont..in my books...then ill leave and find someone who will...its just that simple.

[cb663]

after the things we've said to eachother, its a slap in the face for her not to say something. the more i think about it the more angry i get.

[knightNshiningarmor]

honestly i dont know about your advice lana...asking and bring up this kind of stuff often comes up as very needy unless its in a long term relationship that has experienced a sudden decline...imo op needs to spark up the attraction between the two of them....out of curiosity have you guys slept together during her sleep overs?

[knightNshiningarmor]

i think your really over analyzing to much my friend...just relax and take it as it comes

[lana111]

well its honest and its not playing games...

 

but if things arent super from day one i, personally, wouldnt put any effort into the relationship.

[cb663]

no we havent slept together, we fooled around a little bit though.

 

we hit it off so amazing. then we had a bad day wednesday night. i always open doors for her, ask her general things like "How was your dinner/breakfast" whatever it is. i really didnt see this coming. all i know is im backing off 10x what she's doing. maybe she thinks she has me and she's going to see what else is out there. well im not playing that game. maybe i just dont do it for her. either way, she knows i made a huge effort. saturday she is suppose to come over, i told her i wanted to make up for wednesday and cook dinner again. she agree's and asks to stay over. and then she posts a new personal ad. again the only real conclusion is she is going to see what else is out there.

i know im analyzing this alot but its just how my head works, i cant help it. sorry.

[cb663]

any other advice out there? my head is spinning and right now the only thing thats about to make it stop is hearing what others have to say...

[ghost69]

why don't you take her out instead of her just coming over?

[cb663]

why don't you take her out instead of her just coming over?

well she's coming over, im cookin dinner, then we are gonna go to my moms. my brother is coming home from the army so i invited her so she can meet my family but now i dont think so. i'm beyond confused. this morning she sent me a text "ugh my phone died last night. goodnight and goodmorning! lol. my new battery is suppose to come soon. lol im heading to boston miss you" i was sleeping, so i didnt hear my phone go off. a few minutes later she said "Hello?". so i dont know what to think now. i dont get it. maybe she put a new ad up hoping i'd see it and change or something????

[ghost69]

but you aren't exclusive right?

[cb663]

no, but it still feels like a slap to the face. we have both told eachother things like "i see myself with you, u make me really happy" quite a few times actually. like it was kind of already passed that casual point. i feel she should of said something to me. i think it might be she thinks she has me and she's gonna try and see what else is out there. im not going to do that. im not ok with that, if i dont do it for someone, goodbye. so im confused, if i dont do it for her (which i obviously dont or else she wouldnt of posted that new ad) then why is she sending me texts like that?

[cb663]

also we've been on about 5 or 6 dates already...

[Alezia]

EEEEeeehh your dating is quite upside down in my honest opnion. I wouldn't really bother with some petty arguments about how was your day early on in the relationship.

I also wouldn't invite someone to see my parents until we were exclusive...

I think I would ask her straight up if I were you if she wants to be exclusive or not else you're just playing games.

 

She doesn't sound too interested in you though if she does bother posting a new add on the same day =|

[cb663]

EEEEeeehh your dating is quite upside down in my honest opnion. I wouldn't really bother with some petty arguments about how was your day early on in the relationship.

I also wouldn't invite someone to see my parents until we were exclusive...

I think I would ask her straight up if I were you if she wants to be exclusive or not else you're just playing games.

 

She doesn't sound too interested in you though if she does bother posting a new add on the same day =|

im gonna ask her today, i know she doesnt want to rush into a relationship, i am ok with that. however if she's posting a new ad then it is no longer a situation where we are dating and heading in that direction of being exclusive.

[cb663]

so i talked to her. i doubt this is going anywhere. she claims i havent been making any effort. bs, she claims she said "I dont want commitment and i made that clear" again, i have the chat logged saved. and i asked her if she wasnt looking for it then why is she posting ads on a dating site? she wouldnt stop talking to me and apparently i ruined her night. i told her if she likes me she can think about things. i told her i dont want to see you if you are going to see other people. maybe i pushed it. i dont know. but i did what felt right. im not going to get hurt again after what happened over the summer.