extremely complicated situation

[makeupgrl99]

I have been dating my bf for about five yrs. We have broken up before a while ago, and during that breakup I started seeing this guy that knows both of us. Lets call this guy Ted. Ted and I have this strong attraction but neither of us I guess had the guts to take our "relationship" further. Our relationship basically consisted of us flirting hardcore, kissing once or twice but nothing more. We obviously have a very sexual attraction towards one another but we never took it that far. The problem is that Ted knows my bf, they have mutual friends and see eachother at parties all the time. When my bf and I got back together, I sort of stopped keeping contact with Ted. We were friendly but stopped hanging out and stuch for obvious reasons.

Well here is the problem, recently my bf and I got into a huge fight and we broke up for a weekend. During that weekend because i was upset I called Ted. Ted and I hanged out and flirted hardcore, I told him how my bf and I broke up and such, and we hanged out all night but nothing happened. After that weekend my bf and I made up, but Ted still thinks him and I are broken up.

 

I dont know what to do! I feel like I'm confusing Ted, but do I owe him anything? He never took the initiative to make our relationship more then friendship, even though he knew how much I liked him. The problem is that next week my bf and I are invited to this big party, where Ted is going to be at. I feel like things will be extremely awkward when he sees me and my bf together. Am I overreacting? is there anything I should do?

 

I know this is an extremely confusing situation and I dont know what the right thing to do will be. Please dont comment anything regards to my bf and I relationship, we went thru a tough time but our problems seem to be solved. Its the "relationship" between Ted and I that I dont know what to do with, I just dont want things to get weird or hurt anyone. I want to stay friends with him I just dont know if I owe him and explanation or anything. Thanks.

[waveseer]

Does Ted ever contact you?

[makeupgrl99]

Does Ted ever contact you?

 

 

He will aim me once in a while to say hello, or text me once in a blue moon. Its always been me pretty much doing most of the contact.

[waveseer]

He will aim me once in a while to say hello, or text me once in a blue moon. Its always been me pretty much doing most of the contact.

 

Then you don't really have a problem, just stop contacting him.

[makeupgrl99]

Then you don't really have a problem, just stop contacting him.

I'm just concerned cuz we will see eachother at the party next week, and I dont want him to be like "oh wow, soooo ur back with ur bf now so u stopped contacting me" I dunno, feels like a really strange situation that I got myself into.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Stop contacting ted.

 

You are ruining your relationship and cheating both ted and your bf.

[lonely rose]

I can see why you feel a little awkward about this situation, however, considering that nothing really happened between Ted and you - just flirting, and that he's not contacted you even after he learnt you've broken up with your bf, I don't think you owe him an explanation. It's up to you whether to let him know in advance about you getting back with your bf.

[alli]

I don't see any reason not to contact Ted, let him know your bf & you worked it out & are back together, & you're sorry for bringing him into the middle of it.

 

That would avoid any uncomfortableness seeing him & he won't be confused seeing you two together.

 

It's not like you were very involved with him; the situation would be much more complicated if you had slept together.

[Cognitive_Canine]

But if you continue to go back to ted when things are tough, you will destroy your relationship.

 

Eventually you'll connect ted to only good feelings and make him a rescue.

 

If you continue to rely on ted when times are bad between you and your bf, I can almost guarantee that you will leave your bf for ted. And then break up with ted when you realized that you made a mistake.

[ghost69]

i don't think you need to tell ted unless he contacts you and asks.

[lady00]

Well, IMO, this is really not that complicated at all. You are building it up in your mind to be this "extremely complicated situation" when it's not. Stop being in contact with Ted. If you see him at the party, and its unavoidable to not say anything, then just be polite and say hello and then go about your business.