Pick up guides.. for women?

[capuccino83]

I was wondering whether there any out there - along the lines of Mystery, DYD stuff, but for women to pick up guys/deal with players, etc. There's so many techniques for picking up women, but for getting a guy - the only real advice there is, is to play hard to get.

 

I'm not asking b/c I need help picking up guys, btw, I just love reading about social psychology and the male/female differences - I found the PUA books absolutely fascinating, and am very interested if anyone has analyzed the male mind in the same way.

 

Also - I've always wondered if the guides written for men on picking up women also work for men (with some tailoring of course). Since as I get it, the gist of the effectiveness, if any, is getting passed a person's logical reasoning to catering to their emotions - isn't it the same process for guys as well?

[kaoticbaby]

there are plenty of books like that in the self-help section of bookstores. they don't call them pickup techniques, per say, but they explain the psychology of the male mind and what you can do to spin things in your favor (books like "why men love b*tches", that one was pretty good.)

[Imprecision]

Haha, excellent, capuccino83. Very interesting topic. Unfortunately, I must study for exams, so I can't give a long response right now.

 

I was wondering whether there any out there - along the lines of Mystery, DYD stuff, but for women to pick up guys/deal with players, etc. There's so many techniques for picking up women, but for getting a guy - the only real advice there is, is to play hard to get.

 

I'm not asking b/c I need help picking up guys, btw, I just love reading about social psychology and the male/female differences - I found the PUA books absolutely fascinating, and am very interested if anyone has analyzed the male mind in the same way.

 

There aren't as many, but the mASF has a "playette" section in its forums. I don't know if it's good, though. I never visited it.

 

Robert Greene's Seduction is for both men and women. It's probably what you're looking for. I recommend it.

 

Swingcat's book is for guys, but it might be interesting, too. He believes that successful players mimic tactics used instinctually by females. (You can download this off Kazaa.)

 

There are some books, such as by Cialdini, which are interesting. Not directly related to pick-up, however.

 

If you're into literature, I recommend reading Proust. His insights into the psychology of "falling in love" are amazing.

 

Also - I've always wondered if the guides written for men on picking up women also work for men (with some tailoring of course). Since as I get it, the gist of the effectiveness, if any, is getting passed a person's logical reasoning to catering to their emotions - isn't it the same process for guys as well?

 

Yes, I agree with your insight. Most people interact with the world using "logic." But they don't understand that "logic" is first and foremost a tool of communication. Emotions precede logic. In any case, it's the crucial aspect of friendship, human bonding, and male/female interactions.

[capuccino83]

there are plenty of books like that in the self-help section of bookstores. they don't call them pickup techniques, per say, but they explain the psychology of the male mind and what you can do to spin things in your favor (books like "why men love b*tches", that one was pretty good.)

 

I read why men love b*tches. I actually liked it, buts its very broad and goes back to the original point - play hard to get.

[capuccino83]

AWESOME! Thank you for these. I'll def be checking these out over the next couple of days

[kaoticbaby]

I read why men love b*tches. I actually liked it, buts its very broad and goes back to the original point - play hard to get.

that is true.

 

i worked in a bookstore, and i'm pretty sure that the pickup artist books are found in either the sex section or the humor section (not sure why?)

 

i don't think they are found in the self-help like "why men love b*tches." maybe if i check out the sex section, i'll find something more useful?

[lostandhurt]

Hey I don't love the female of the dog species! Hard to get huh.......but I am shy and reserved. How will I ever find a women?

 

lost

[Pegasus]

I'm not asking b/c I need help picking up guys, btw, I just love reading about social psychology and the male/female differences - I found the PUA books absolutely fascinating, and am very interested if anyone has analyzed the male mind in the same way.

 

So, do you agree with analysis in PUA books?

[capuccino83]

So, do you agree with analysis in PUA books?

 

I don't necessarily disagree with them.

[tinydancer81]

^i hate that saying 'play hard to get' why? if you like someone and they like you then why should you have to play games, Not that i give too much away to start with anyway but i don't like playing games and i think its immature to play games too. But thats just my opinion doesn't mean im right. i just think 'hey i feel like talking to him so im gonna give him a call' but obviously i dont call too much cause thats just pyscho behaviour.

 

I do get the feeling tho no matter what the guy its all about the chase for them.

[Tethys]

The female equivalent of these PUA books is probably "The Rules" or the more modern "Why Men Love B*Itches."

 

Not that I agree with them -- just answering the question.

[capuccino83]

The female equivalent of these PUA books is probably "The Rules" or the more modern "Why Men Love B*Itches."

 

Not that I agree with them -- just answering the question.

 

I already mentioned them - they are such a poor equivalent however. "play hard to get and be happy with yourself" is the same thing as telling a guy "have more confidence when approaching a woman". Yes, its completely true, but at the same time its so broad that its almost useless.

[Tethys]

I already mentioned them - they are such a poor equivalent however. "play hard to get and be happy with yourself" is the same thing as telling a guy "have more confidence when approaching a woman". Yes, its completely true, but at the same time its so broad that its almost useless.

 

Hey -- I didn't say I agreed with them. Just sayin'.

 

The sad thing is, there's a grain of truth to both, but it's lost under all the BS.

[Pappers]

Try "The MANual" written by a male pua himself.

 

Basically I think it boils down to this:

1 - look good

2 - be happy with yourself

3 - be social and have friends

4 - be playful with men (childhood games)

5 - don't have sex with a guy early on..... he is prepared to wait if the attraction is there, but not for months on end if you are stale... and then the exception to sex on 1st date or early on in the relationship is if you are doing it without any desperation or games involved (to make yourself feel better, to make him hooked on you, etc)

6 - don't tell him your problems (mental health, abuse, long stories about colleagues at work.... at least not at the beginning)

7 - always be ready to walk out the door

8 - be kind and loyal

9 - if you don't like him, leave him - only date men you like

10 - don't sleep with a lot of guys at once

11 - keep mystery there

12- don't bring up relationship talk

13 - but then don't bottle things in; you don't want to be wasting your time in a relationship if it not exclusive

14 - say "I respect a man that is loving and faithful to women" early on.... (what you expect and then he will know his limitations)

15 - by no means do you ever except a friends with benefits situation. Ever. Once you are placed in this category you will unlikely ever get out of it or translate into an exclusive committed relationship

16 - be a good girl, but then bad girl in bed

17 - so, good at sex

18 - listen to him

19 - smile

20 - ask him questions every now and then that will make him think you are still deciding whether or not you want him.... men are programmed to have to 'earn' the woman so don't give everything away at once (your undying love and devotion).

21 - the art of conversation goes a long way

..........................

 

even though some of this sounds a little backwards, it is effective particularly when you are getting to know someone. There's no magic formula that works with every guy! Don't forget this is about you - what you want; do you like him? Just be smart - play cool but FOLLOW YOUR HEART! (just don't forget about your brain!)

 

A good movie about seduction is with Audrey Tatou. I believe it is called Priceless. It is all about how she seduces older rich men to live of, but then meets her match (and soulmate) when a man of her age takes pointers from her on how to seduce older women....

[Tethys]

Not too shabby, Pappers...

[capuccino83]

Thanks pappers! I'll def look up the book.

[Tethys]

Thanks pappers! I'll def look up the book.

 

Pappers listed the most important parts! Now you don't have to buy the book!

[lady00]

I pretty much just rely on dumb luck. My bf is very outgoing and I am quite the opposite. And I don't play any sorts of attraction games. I just kind of go about my life as normal and if I meet someone I like, I act the same way I always do.

[Pappers]

hehehe ya ... after a horrendous break up I poured over tons of books to figure out the opposite sex..... not sure if it has helped, a lot of it is common sense but then again a few things helped me (especially regarding committment stuff)

 

Good luck everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ; )