Dinner Party at Boss's house issue

[wish4me]

I have been invited to my bf sisters 30th birthday party next week. It has been arranged for several weeks.

 

I got an invite from our main manager (boss's boss) for a dinner party on the same evening at his house.

 

We were told that he gets very upset if someone can't make the effort to attend. This is the same guy who back in June told me he wasn't going to invest any more money in me. I had been with the company for several years and this year was the first time I never received a merit.

 

He even commented to me after I took the courage to talk to him about my boss that they were hiring at X company down the road.

 

I refuse to change my plans. This guy is abnorxious and eccentric, a guy who comes up to your office each week and smiles and tells you he has the ability to push people to the edge when the need arises....

[25thfloor]

Seriously, you have to ask yourself...do you need this job? if so, you might have to suck it up until you can move.

[Love_Music]

Well if the dinner party isn't mandatory, then I would not go. He can't MAKE you attend a dinner party and then get mad if you don't come. That is not part of your job IMO.

 

And the whole thing about him coming to your office door and saying something snotty like that is really uncalled for. I'd be tempted to report him.

[Mythical_Suicide]

He can't fire you for not attending his party.

[25thfloor]

He can't fire you for not attending his party.

 

Unfortunately, life is not fair. and as firing her for not attending the party...no, he'll be much smarter than that. he'll make her quit and refuse unemployment. as much as that sucks, he sounds like a guy who would do that.

[wish4me]

Last week he came into our office and asked "does anyone know how many customers we have?". I told gave him a #, which he replied back "Kelly, I'm sure your not watching the same game". Later that day my colleague done a count and I was correct. He came back to our office and grinned and said "oh I apologize but I guess a blind squirrel would find a nut every once in a while huh?" H can be very intimidating.

[25thfloor]

I've had a boss like that in the past. it was a struggle everyday because he was so wacked. it was hard as heck, but i held on until i had another job that i really wanted. he would cut me off every single way i went....hateful, spiteful. watched every single move i made. it's a hard way to live and it will tax your health. i hope you can move onto something better.

[shikashika]

ugh... go to the family function... this guy sounds like a penis!

[Alezia]

Hum, I could not bring myself to justify a reason to attend a corporate event if he insults you like that. I do make the extra effort usually; but does this guy really deserve it? NO!

[JadedStar]

Since it is a known fact that these parties are in his mind worth the effort, I don't know if i would say not go. Five years ago I might have, but this is a really tight economy and the only thing a worker really has to set themselves outside of the pack is to do things like this sometimes. A friend of mine went thru something similar in october... He canceled his halloween party he planned for weeks because the company was having a party and the new execs from the company buying his out would be there. He said he hated to cancel on us but he said his job was too important at this time. We all understood entirely. It wasn't that he thought his boss was the bomb, he was using this as a NETWORKING event.

 

That is what I suggest...using it not to kiss the boss's ass but use it as a networking tool for your career.

I am sure your family would understand if you put it that way, the same we understood aobut my friend.

 

But it's up to you. It depends on how much you like the job and want to move up. No, he can't fire you for not going, but we all know how powerful networking is for our careers.

[25thfloor]

yes, jadedstar, it is a very tough economy and it's going to just get worse over the next couple of years before it gets better. it's very taxing working for a butthead, but having no income is even harder...especially if you have a mortgage. i just would hate to see OP struggle later on with no income. i see it all around me now in the banking industry...and it's tough.

[wish4me]

We have been asked to take our spouses. I really don't feel comfortable in going and I know my bf would just feel so out of place. He is a country boy and I'm sure they would make smart a... remarks.

 

Not so long ago a girl in our office received news that her brother had committed suicide. The boss just rambled on and on in front of everyone how selfish it was and made very rude remarks to others. This guy has been with the company for over 20 yrs.

 

They have already left 5 people go in our office. We are all asked to leave the building when something like this comes up and he will then talk about having to leave them go as though its water off a ducks back.

 

Even if I could go I would not have anyone to look after my children since I would want my bf to go too.

 

When your "cordially invited" then I don't think it matters. I will be so pleased to find something else. Every Monday morning I wake up with anxiety with heart pounding. It's just not worth it.

[JadedStar]

My thought process is that if i am working for someone who i dislike to this great extent it is time for me to look for another job. I don't think a holiday party is the big issue here, it is the fact that you do not like or respect this man. And that is going to spill over into other areas of your work.

 

We spend a lot of time at work and everyone has some issues with a boss, well most everyone. We have to be realistic and expect that some conflicts will occur. But if it is to the extent that you don't respect anything about him and think he is an all around pig you need to start job shopping and concentrate on that more than if you should attend a holiday party. But be really realistic when you decide to leave over the boss....sometimes the grass isn't greener so try to numerate your issues and decide are they really over the top and causing you a lot of pain or are they just normal boss/employee woes...if you find that they are over the top then yes, up the efforts on the job search.

 

Truth is attending that party is a good networking tool and if the main reason you don't want to go is because you feel the boss is this big of an a hole then i suggest finding other work.

[wish4me]

I have been looking for other employment since June. I became more serious about it over the past 2 months.

 

I know alot of people who in the past have worked for this boss and left because of his attitude. He'll make smart a... remarks about your hair that others in the office have said "it was uncalled for".

 

I know several who have left our company who have said that it was a blessing... I'm just hoping I can find something soon. I have tried several times to post and transfer to another department but because of short handedness I have been pulled back. Our company's debt is now overwelming and analysts in our industry have predicted that we like other operators in our industry could be bankrupt next year. We have already closed 17 stores in the past 2 weeks...

[glegend]

If its going to result in problems in the workplace I would make the effort to go for a short time and boost and go to the birthday party.