Engagement Broken - Would you give ring back or not? Guys, your opinion?

[Batya33]

I returned my engagement ring - I started the break up, he finished it. I had NO interest in keeping the ring (and it was far more than $500 and no, I did not think the amount he spent had any bearing on his maturity - he spent what he thought he could afford) - part of the reason I had no interest was because I wanted him to know 100% that I would never take advantage of him no matter what.

 

I have at times returned gifts of jewelry or other gifts - but the guy in question always returned them back to me. I agree with DN that those gifts are different than a ring that symbolizes a promise to marry.

 

I might keep the ring if he broke it off especially if i had spent money on wedding stuff or similar. I probably would sell it and give the proceeds to charity.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I'd give it back, of course. I understand that it isn't mine, it is/was "ours". However, I was just giving reasons of why I'd like to keep it. Explaining that you can keep a ring without wanting to sell it yet not keeping it out of spite/resentment. It still has meaning.

[Sn0man]

You give the ring back. No question about that. An engagement ring may well be a 'gift', but it's a conditional one.

 

Why keep it anyways? If the engagement is broken, everything about said ring is worthless. It becomes nothing more than a hunk of metal, and she should darnwell give it back and he should darnwell sell it.

[redrose85]

If it is just a gift, not an engagement or wedding ring, should you give it back?

[Zeitgeist]

It's not *just* a gift. It's a gift that represents the asking and acceptance of marriage. If that marriage doesn't happen, the woman should at the very least offer to give it back. If the man refuses, that's a different matter. I don't see how this is debatable. If she refuses to even offer it back, if I were the guy, I'd be relieved to find out I'm not marrying that kind of woman.

[Sn0man]

It's not *just* a gift. It's a gift that represents the asking and acceptance of marriage. If that marriage doesn't happen, the woman should at the very least offer to give it back. If the man refuses, that's a different matter. I don't see how this is debatable. If she refuses to even offer it back, if I were the guy, I'd be relieved to find out I'm not marrying that kind of woman.

Good point.

[purpleJ]

Its very interesting to read everyones opinions on this.

 

To those who have mentioned its a "gift" or its sad how something so romantic has to be involved with law....Marriage is a contract!! what is romantic is falling in love and wanting to be together forever..ring/marriage is the legal aspect of it. It is NOT a gift its a consideration given for a promise in legal terms..in other words its a promise for promise...just like if you pay someone x amount of money on a condition that they do something for you, and they later refused to do it you deserve the money back.

 

Legally she has to give it back, if not he can take her to court and take it back. Also if there has been a deposit put by him for the reception he can legally claim it from her, thats the law here in Australia anyway.

 

I know people that have engagement rings from 5K to 10K and to the person who said an engagement ring over $500 is a sign of immaturity, sorry but you saying that is a sign of immaturity. Just like people spend different amonts on cars or any other big purchases..the money spent on an engagement ring depends on what a person can afford.

 

Personally I would give the ring back regardless of who broke it off.

[ImThatGirl]

Thank you much everyone for the opinions / facts, etc. I'm glad to see that I wasn't completely off base in thinking that engagement rings should be returned....

[george237]

If she is holding on to it, it can mean two things imo. 1. she is holding on for hope. 2. She is trying to hurt him and this is the only way she can.

[midnightrambler]

Thank you much everyone for the opinions / facts' date=' etc. I'm glad to see that I wasn't completely off base in thinking that engagement rings should be returned....[/quote']

 

are you normally off base with your opinions?

[ImThatGirl]

are you normally off base with your opinions?

 

Well No! Of course not! I am right about every single thing! Always!

 

But..... I was sharing a story with a close friend of mine. And she responded "Well! I wouldn't give the ring back!" I told her quickly that we should stop there as to not debate.... lol (coworker/friend.) She kept on and on about why a girl should not give the ring back. Made me fussy - hence this thread.

[redrose85]

Wow! that frustrated me. I wasn't saying an engagement ring was a gift. I know it's not. It has conditions behind it.

 

What I was asking was whether any other type of jewelry given during the course of a relationship has to be given back after a breakup, or if those ARE classified as gifts.

[DN]

Wow! that frustrated me. I wasn't saying an engagement ring was a gift. I know it's not. It has conditions behind it.

 

What I was asking was whether any other type of jewelry given during the course of a relationship has to be given back after a breakup, or if those ARE classified as gifts.

Anything given in 'contemplation of marriage' should be given back. That would obviously mean an engagement ring but might include a promise ring or a piece of inherited family jewelry meant to be handed on to children of a future marriage. But other gifts, such as for birthday, Christmas and so on are gifts in the same way as a gift to anyone else.

[lady00]

I would return the ring no matter who did the breaking up. My belief is that when people get married and then divorced, the woman keeps the engagement ring, but if the engagement is broken off before they get married, then she should return it.

 

And I don't think how much the man spends on the ring has anything to do with his level of maturity.