Engagement Broken - Would you give ring back or not? Guys, your opinion?

[ImThatGirl]

I'm sure this convo has been had somewhere on the boards before....

 

So, I know someone who within the past few months, girl broke engagement. They have a child together. She has moved out, has her own place, etc.

 

She's refusing to give ring back.

 

My opinion is that if an engagement is broken, ring should be returned. I thought that was a rule?

 

But another friend of mine just said she disagree's - that an engagement ring is a gift.

 

Have I lost my mind?

 

Share.

[Mythical_Suicide]

The way I see it is while it is a gift, I can't think of any reason why a girl would want to keep a ring other than to have something from the relationship or out of spite. Both reasons aren't very good ones. If my fiance and I were to break up, I'd give the ring back.

[NJRon]

As an engagement ring is given on the condition that they get married, then the engagement ring must be returned if that marriage does not take place. If it does take place, then the ring is the woman's regardless of whether the marriage ends.

 

However, what is your friend going to do with a used engagement ring?

[Lionel Hutz]

Im asking you to marry me, present you with a token of such, you break it off. Can I have the token back; since it means nothing to you. Unless you are the money grubbing person I never knew. What good is it to her?

[ImThatGirl]

He wants to sell it.

 

I gave an engagement ring back once. Felt good... washed my hands clean.

[lostandhurt]

Isn't an engagement ring a promise to marry? If she broke it off, she broke the promise so she should return the ring. If he broke it off then I think she could keep it.

 

lost

[Clementine orange]

Good taste an common decency suggestions it should be returned. If she can't figure that one out then it sounds like the guy just dodged a bullet.

[CarrieB123]

Legally: in my state anyways, if the ring was given on a holiday example: christmas/birthday etc. it is a gift and not expected to be returned. If it was a proposal, nothing else, it should be returned.

 

Personally: it should be given back, no matter what, whether he ended it or she ended it, give it back. Whomever paid for it should have it.

[Lionel Hutz]

He wants to sell it.

 

I gave an engagement ring back once. Felt good... washed my hands clean.

 

 

I'd wanna sell it too. This lady is being stinker. (nicest insult I could come up with)

[Mythical_Suicide]

He wants to sell it.

 

I gave an engagement ring back once. Felt good... washed my hands clean.

 

 

If he bought and she broke the engagement off he has all the right to do as he pleases with it. Can't really understand what purpose it would serve for her keeping it.

[DN]

The law varies from place to place. Sometimes it must be returned if the woman broke the engagement but not if the man did. In other jurisdictions it must be returned regardless of who broke the engagement.

 

I agree with Emily Post who said "any woman who refuses to return the ring after a broken engagement is no lady".

link removed

[shemo]

The engagement ring is given to you upon acceptance of the proposal.. So if she's saying no to the proposal, she should give it back. However, if the guy cheated or changed his mind, then hell no I would not give it back. But that's just me.

[DN]

Other than simple greed and acquisitiveness I cannot imagine why anyone would keep the ring no matter who broke it off.

[Lionel Hutz]

The engagement ring is given to you upon acceptance of the proposal.. So if she's saying no to the proposal, she should give it back. However, if the guy cheated or changed his mind, then hell no I would not give it back. But that's just me.

 

Seems like youd want to give it back after that.^

[Mythical_Suicide]

When my parents broke up when I was a baby my mom threw hers in the lake

 

I've known people who do that but regret it later on.

[midnightrambler]

If she broke it I think she should return it.

 

correct....

[Merri]

well...I've been in that situation. Our engagement was broken and I willingly gave the ring back. I didn't want it because for one....it reminded me too much of our situation and two....the ring had so much more meaning to me than just having a diamond. I don't think that the ring should be kept...that's just my opinion.

[jengh]

I tried to give mine back. On multiple occasions. He wouldn't take it so I sold it. I told him I was going to sell it and he said he didn't care--he just didn't want it. I tried!

[shemo]

Seems like youd want to give it back after that.^

 

Well no, if he did something like cheat on me, I'd keep the ring out of spite and sell that ish. But that's cuz I'm a biyatch.

[DN]

Well no, if he did something like cheat on me, I'd keep the ring out of spite and sell that ish. But that's cuz I'm a biyatch.

Well, it that does happen to you make sure you are able to do that without him being able to sue you for the value of the ring.

[thejigsup]

If I break it off, the ring goes back, no doubt about it. If he breaks it off, I sell it. No doubt about that, either.

[lila...]

Wow, I didn't know there was a law that backed this up

 

If I broke off the engagement, I'd give it back. If he did, I'd like to keep it...just for sentimental reasons (although I know I'd be hurting myself)...and it is a gift after all so I don't think I'm obligated to give it back.

[Supa_gurl]

I always thought the rule was:

 

She broke it off...Give it back

 

He broke it off....Keep it.

[DN]

Wow, I didn't know there was a law that backed this up

 

If I broke off the engagement, I'd give it back. If he did, I'd like to keep it...just for sentimental reasons (although I know I'd be hurting myself)...and it is a gift after all so I don't think I'm obligated to give it back.

There is a legal issue depending where you live - and keeping it could be very expensive for you.

 

But the ethical issue is more complex - and basically involves keeping something of value that was given for reasons that no longer apply.

 

I think the main reason to give it back is because it just looks so sleazy to keep it no matter the reason the engagement was ended.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I see both sides of the argument.

 

The ring is a gift. A memento for the love they once had.

 

However, at the same time, the symbol of it is lost after the breakup.

 

My boyfriend gave me a necklace that I wore everyday. After we broke up (back together now), I took it off and put it in a safe place.

 

I did ask him if he wanted it back though and he said that he would like me to keep it. That he gave it to me and he could never sell it nor give it to anybody else.