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Update on my progress..

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Well it has been almost three months since my ex and I split. The first weeks were horrible because she jumped right back into a relationship in about a week. She lied to me about it for a month until I found out. Then I went NC.


I have been NC for about 2 months now with only forced contact on her part. Showing up at my house unanounced and so forth.


She is still contacting me over the little things like personal items that I thought we had squared away months ago. She also makes it a point to keep me informed about her family and current situation. She is stringing me along. Even though I do not contact her or reply to her messages. She said she would not give me another chance, so I told her I didn't want to be friends and do not contact me for any reason. She tried again on Sunday. She mentioned a book that I have that she would like, and also told me about her aunt who is sick and her situation.The one last week was the best. "I think I deserve a relationship with your son for everything that you put me through." I ignored it, but how selfish. She has not yet accepted any blame for the breakup. Even though it was mutual I felt like the dumpee because of her rebound.


I have improved myself in many ways. I know what my part was in the breakup and have accepted it was partially my fault. I hit the gym more often and lost 25 pounds. I have better relationships with my old friends. I have made many new friends. My relationship with my son has impeoved because I have more time for him that she used to use. I am reading more and have found out that I really enjoy it. I go out and flirt with women and found out that I am pretty desrable. I write down my feelings in a journal. I have organized and cleaned my personal space. I am starting to be okay on my own.


Compared to 2.5 months ago I am in a very good place. I am not healed fully yet but I would say 60%-75%. I still think about her. I still care for her, but I know better that even though I may want her back sometimes I could never take her back. NC and time is healing me there is no doubt. If I had been NC from the beginning then I would be better off. My life has been drastically changed and I am growing from this breakup.


I know I will find someone just as good or better for me. I am in no hurry to find someone. When it happens I will be ready.

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Good for you. Your story is alot like mine except she didn't wait a week she started before I was out the door. But enough about that. I am almost to the point you are. Like you I a good part of me wants her back but like you I couldn't go back. It's glad you and your son are getting closer. That is one thing I am grateful for on this divorce. I am spending more time with my kids than before.

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Yeah, Robert! I remember when you first started posting. It's so great that you've taken the time to update us. You clearly have made progress and I'm so happy for you. Of course, there may still be little speed bumps on your road to healing, but I can tell you (from someone who's "been there"), you'll get over them. You should be proud of yourself.


From a fellow upstater (is that a word?)


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