Should I Explain?

[seeker1]

My girlfriend of six months and I broke up about a month ago. She broke up with me saying that she could not fully commit to a relationship and that it was her not me. I know that I became a needy person and put her before me. I basically smothered her. I know this now after giving it a lot of time and thought. We have only talked once since the break up. I really miss her, but not the relationship. I know that I am not a needy person, I just wanted to show her that I was not going anywhere.( she had some past issues with her ex cheating on her). Well in the process, I became a needy and smothering person. When we broke up, I was very calm and collect, and did not become a needy wimp. I would like to talke to her about it, but don't know how to approach it. Does anybody have any suggestions?

[Robert013]

Yeah don't talk to her about it. If you do you will look needy. If you don't want to look needy then go NC for a month. See what happens in that month if she tries to make contact then respond in a timely manner. Wait a few hours or better yet a day or two to get back to her then you will apear not to be needy. If it is actually over after the month move on with your life. Don't invest anymore time in someone who does not want to be with you.

[seeker1]

I hear what you are saying. I did go NC for a month. I contacted her because she is my dental hygenist and I have an appointment coming up and wanted to make sure she was not going to pull any teeth . When I have broke up or someone has broken up with me. I usually move on with no problem. This one however is really really tough. I am in love and it hurts. I feel that I need to try and make this work.....

[Robert013]

Yeah love hurts a lesson I was forced to learn all to well. Just do not be pushy or she will know your intensions. Don't bring up the relationship unless she does. Do apear happy, in control, and ask normall questions a friend would ask. She might just wonder why you are doing so well without her and get her blood flowing in the right direction. Be carefull you might not like what you hear.

[seeker1]

so what you are saying is don't bring up the relationship at all!?! She never said that I was a needy person when she broke up with me. I just know that I was after taking a break and looking back on it. How can I relay that I know that I was part of the reason why we broke up?

[Robert013]

so what you are saying is don't bring up the relationship at all!?! She never said that I was a needy person when she broke up with me. I just know that I was after taking a break and looking back on it. How can I relay that I know that I was part of the reason why we broke up?

 

Did she give you a reason? I wouldn't try to bring up the relationship. If she does then you can talk about it. Do not at that point get all sappy just admit what you thought you did wrong and leave it at that. You are trying to apear to be over her and just be friendly. This will make her think. Thinking about you is good.

[seeker1]

She said she could not fully commit to a relationship now and was not sure if she ever could. (her husband cheated on her and left her). This made her a very independent women. She does not show her feelings well. This to me just says I have lost my interest level in you. I was not the same person she went out with and was attracted to at the beginning of the relationship. How can I let her know this if I cannot talk to her about it?

[seeker1]

So does anyone else have any suggestions for this? I do miss her but not the relationship.