NC day 9 - Feeling down yet positive...

[jonpf]

Day 9 of no contact ensues and it's been a hard day already, and I just know it's gonna be a tough week!

 

I'm on a weeks annual leave from work, a week that was booked 4 months ago to coincide with her birthday, it's tomorrow. We were supposed to be going away, instead she's on holiday with someone else......

 

All I can think about is her and him together, it was supposed to be us!! I can't clear my mind, I'm wearing holes in the carpet from pacing, my mind is racing and I'm full of bitterness. I hate her but I still love her, I miss her but I never want to see her again.

 

I'm so tired.....tired of her still being able to affect me like this, tired of beating myself up over her, tired of feeling and looking miserable........

 

I want me back, I want her poison out of my system, but most of all I want to wake up one morning and know that this is the day that I leave her behind and starting looking forward to life again............

 

In my head I know that time will come. I need to make it through the holidays without thinking too much about all the plans we had made. It's gonna be hard, but I know I can do it. And with a new year will come a new start and a new chapter in my life

 

Just writing this has made me feel stronger. I can do it!! I will do it!!

[Wmast]

Good stuff man.

Just gotta accept it for what it is and move forward. Your brain is telling you the right thing to do but your heart is holding you back. I'm in your same exact situation. We'll make it through. Stay strong

Good luck bro!

[Onthoi]

I 3rd everything said. Hate/love. wanting to see her but not wanting to ever again. All exactly how I feel. Although I'm kind of here looking for the same advice I cannot give you much but I can say that we can't let it ruin our lives. The days wasted add up and one day in our future we will look back and wonder "Why in the hell did I let that bother me" Just keep doing your best to keep busy and confident that one day you'll find someone better. If you ever feel the need to talk PM me I'd love to help and that goes for anyone who reads this post.

[jonpf]

So day 9 slips into day 10..........

 

I've woken up ridiculously early and the 1st thought to smack me in the face is that it's her birthday today.

 

I'm feeling really down already and its not even 7am. Its gonna be a very long day!! The positivity I felt yesterday is nowhere in sight.

 

The overwhelming urge to text her is here again. Hell, I don't even particularly want her to have a good birthday, cus I know she's with him, yet I still want to wish her a happy birthday. How screwed up is that???

[jonny_keogh]

It must be difficult to understand why she is on holiday with someone else and not you! Im going thru the same emotions. Was with my ex for 2.5 years and she just left me for someone else Namely someone nearly ten years older. We're both only 20. But hey, these emotions your going through, you will get good and bad days. Yesterday was a good day. Today is obviously going to be a bad one because its her birthday. You knew this and was preparing for it. Obviously Xmas will be hard too but the best you can do is to prepare for it, and think that you got through one day, so you can get through the next. I spent nearly everyday with my ex until she left me, and now i havent seen or spoken her in a month and a half. its one of the hardest things to deal with, but remember that she did this to you, and you can hold your head up high and know you did nothing to deserve this. It only gets better with time. DO NOT CALL OR TEXT HER!! trust me that will be the worst thing to do. Wait till she contacts you and hopefully you will be strong enough to resist her. as i said, you are not alone in your feelings, as i am going through exactly the same. Chin up mate, it gets better trust me. Maybe not for a few months but hey, it will get better!!

[brandnew1]

congrats on making it to day 10! it is sooo difficult in the beginning, i completely understand.

 

absolutely do not text or call her. if you feel like you need to send her a message, type it out and send it to yourself. sending a message will not only make you look weak, it will make you FEEL weak as well.

 

i am on day 73 of no contact. and know what the best part of that is? i had to pull up the calendar to see how many days it's been! you will start to feel better. it may take awhile. while i still think of him, it's easier to reflect now on the negatives of the relationship.

 

everyone is here to support you tp make sure you stay strong.

 

YOU CAN DO IT!

[homeagain]

hang in there! the NC seems like it will consume you right after the break up, but it really does start to help. those first couple weeks are like being tortured. i'm sure it especially feels this way given the situation with your time off/her birthday. each day, you will get stronger and more in control of your feelings. little by little, you will start to put everything where it needs to be. you're going strong to almost two weeks now... that's huge! keep putting yourself first and do whatever you need to do to get through today.

 

keep posting to let us know how you are doing!

[JohnDoe123]

10 days woo hoo!

 

Good for YOU!!!!! I can relate to everything you're going through. Been there and am once again right there with you. you have a great mindset- recognizing your feelings, allowing them, and being hopeful about your future.

 

You're gonna be just fine. It is just gonna take a while to get there. Just hang in there, stay positive, I'll see you on the other side!

 

Peace,

 

JD123