going abroad for companionship/love

[trincitee]

if a person doesn't fit in with the dating culture of their own country, then should they go abroad to find a significant other?

 

The thing is though, i find myself greatly attracted to women from India and East Asia. I seldom see an Indian women, for instance, whom I find physically unappealing. I'm actually thinking of locating to these areas for a few years, since I find my chances of finding a mate would be higher. Another point is that these cultures aren't as superficial, so maybe i would be better attuned there in the dating sphere of things.

[waveseer]

I say go for it. Men traveling long distances seeking women of ethnicities different from their own is a time-honored tradition. I hope you find the woman of your dreams.

[trincitee]

I say go for it. Men traveling long distances seeking women of ethnicities different from their own is a time-honored tradition.

 

it is? i don't mean to sound naive, but i never realized it was a common thing.

I hope you find the woman of your dreams.

 

thanks.

[waveseer]

Most of the adventurers who set out to discover new worlds, lands, and peoples were funded by speculators of one type or another. But one of the major reasons for risking one's life to travel into unknown territory was the possibility of meeting women who looked a bit different than the majority they'd known already. Think start trek but on earth.

[trincitee]

OK. It's not so much finding women who look different. But finding women who are of similar values/temperament. I don't think i can find that in my own country.

 

I was born in the UK, and i find a lot of people there are quite shallow. I'm not a shallow person as such, and i don't like reading about celebrities, Big Brother, pop music charts and the like. While people are entitled to like what they like and everything in life is relative, that kind of thing is not for me.

 

I guess i figure that people in other countries wouldn't be like this as much. so that's why i'm considering travelling to find an SO. I already chat with some people from other countries on the internet, and while i'm not pursuing them as potential dating material i enjoy their different outlooks on life and how deep their cultures are.

 

thanks again for your comments.

[waveseer]

I look to the small towns in any culture for the real people.

[Sn0man]

I look to the small towns in any culture for the real people.

hahahaaaa thats awesome! I so agree too! I grew up in small town BC and I have to say that the only 'real' people i've ever met were from there. For some reason, city people are fake. Fake fake fake fake fake.

 

I don't really know why either, though I should have some insight on this as I grew up in the country. But I don't as i've now been branded 'city folk' and am probably fake fake fake fake fake just like the rest of them.

[waveseer]

hahahaaaa thats awesome! I so agree too! I grew up in small town BC and I have to say that the only 'real' people i've ever met were from there. For some reason, city people are fake. Fake fake fake fake fake.

 

I don't really know why either, though I should have some insight on this as I grew up in the country. But I don't as i've now been branded 'city folk' and am probably fake fake fake fake fake just like the rest of them.

 

I grew up in suburbia and the real people were far and few between. Since I've become an adult I have lived in small towns way more often than not. Cities have their advantages but I like the "we are all in this thing called life together" mentality that small towns offer.

[StretchGee]

if a person doesn't fit in with the dating culture of their own country, then should they go abroad to find a significant other?

 

The thing is though, i find myself greatly attracted to women from India and East Asia. I seldom see an Indian women, for instance, whom I find physically unappealing. I'm actually thinking of locating to these areas for a few years, since I find my chances of finding a mate would be higher. Another point is that these cultures aren't as superficial, so maybe i would be better attuned there in the dating sphere of things.

 

The newness may help in that it is more exciting than you are used to. But beware that the grass is not always greener. Once the newness wears off, you are liable to find the culture the same as what you have left.

 

That said, the adventure may get you started...so go for it if that is your thing. Just keep your expectations grounded in the fact that people are not that different the world over.

[Imprecision]

I recommend HK.

 

Advantages:

1. Large expat community. You won't miss your "own kind."

2. Most people speak some English. You won't get lost.

3. HK is "Asia for Dummies." If you want more of East Asia, you can go into the mainland later.

4. HK is traditional - strong on family values. In many ways, HK is more old-school than the mainland.

5. The women are beautiful.

6. Less culture shock for westerners.

7. Lots of bars. Everyone goes to bars after work.

8. There's a gender imbalance: too many women, too few men.

9. Compared with North American women, HK women are traditional but pragmatic. For instance, it's still very possible to find twenty-five year olds who have never dated. In North America, that's like finding a needle in a haystack.

10. Strong tradition of Western-Chinese friendship and intermarriages.

11. Everything is convenient. The government is efficient.

12. It's easier to find "real people" in China than in the West (in my opinion). People take friendship more seriously.

13. Chinese culture is big on hospitality. Once you have friends, people will take you out for dinner all the time. Then, they'll lavish you with gifts.

 

I have never met a westerner who dislike HK. Everyone has a great time. Many westerners like it so much that they settle down there. It's possible to be a westerner, speak English primarily, and still claim an HK identity - kinda hard to do in Beijing or Shanghai.

 

The problem, of course, is with you finding a job.

 

Sn0man,

 

hahahaaaa thats awesome! I so agree too! I grew up in small town BC and I have to say that the only 'real' people i've ever met were from there. For some reason, city people are fake. Fake fake fake fake fake.

 

I don't really know why either, though I should have some insight on this as I grew up in the country. But I don't as i've now been branded 'city folk' and am probably fake fake fake fake fake just like the rest of them.

 

Really? This is interesting.

 

When I was a kid, I always thought Vancouver people were extremely friendly. Until I hung out with a few German girls, who uniformly said that Vancouver people lacked warmth. Then, I discovered that most Europeans had the same experience: They found Vancouver people polite, civil, but distant - unlike Europe, where people were closer together.

 

I rarely go to the interiors, so I don't know much about small-town BC. The few times I was there, though, people were very nice. Which town are you from?

[Sn0man]

I don't know about Vancouver as I have never lived there (well, not for a couple decades anyways ha!). But there are a couple of cities in the interior, one of which I live in, and it's FAKE. The small town I come from, well, they really are real people. No BS from them, just straight up...they don't worry about money, big careers, fancy cars or hot women. All they care about is their little homes and land and family. The real things. The stuff that matters. Of course, on the other hand, they still fancy their shiny guns lol!

[Imprecision]

I don't know about Vancouver as I have never lived there (well, not for a couple decades anyways ha!). But there are a couple of cities in the interior, one of which I live in, and it's FAKE. The small town I come from, well, they really are real people. No BS from them, just straight up...they don't worry about money, big careers, fancy cars or hot women. All they care about is their little homes and land and family. The real things. The stuff that matters. Of course, on the other hand, they still fancy their shiny guns lol!

 

"There are a couple of cities in the interior" - By "cities," you mean "small-towns," right?

 

I once asked a Halifax native in Vancouver whether he liked the city. He said, "Vancouver people are good. But it's so big! I'm still adjusting to how big downtown is." I wanted to say, "You think Vancouver is big? Are you for real?"

 

I also know this prairie girl. She says she never goes downtown because she's afraid of getting lost.

 

Haha, I'm just kidding. But it's great that you like your hometown so much. BC is the most beautiful place on earth.

[Kinetics]

I think that's a good idea. That's not to say me or you are stereotyping a certain country/ethnicity, but I do believe some places aren't as atuned to all the hype and glamor that's shown on MTV and all these reality TV shows.

 

I also find where I live not to be a good match for the kind of life/relationship I am looking for, so moving to a new place is definitely in order.

[Binoo]

I'm glad you posted this. I've been wanting to move to England because I find the men so much better than the ones where I live [ generally ]. The only boyfriend I ever had that didn't treat me like crap was from the UK and he was so charming and feminine and kind. He had the same morals and values. And almost all the other men I've spoken to from the UK have been very similar.

I've been saving up to move to England for awhile. I really think my odds of finding a partner there are much greater than here in Canada.

I thought I was the only one who thought like this!

 

-Binoo

[DaBladeRoden]

Damn, I want a company to sponsor a trip for me to Hong Kong.

[penelope13]

i have lived in a number of different countries. all of the cultures have their positives and things that i still didn't understand after years of living there and having learned the language.

 

with dating it is the same, come to think of it maybe more complicated. while i can by books to learn the grammar, it is difficult to understand all the unwritten undefined 'rules' of the dating world in each country. which one is better? i don't think there is better or worse, just different.

 

while i understand all the non-verbal implications, gestures, winks etc in my own culture (since i spend most of my developing years with it), i am still at a loss for understanding all the nuances in the other cultures where i have lived.

 

while it is not impossible for people from different cultures to be happy with each other (and many are finding that more attractive than with someone from their own culture), many people who live abroad end up dating someone from their home country.

 

it sounds so attractive if you have never lived outside your own culture, how much easier another culture may be.- one advantage that moving brings with it, is that you will have to start questioning your own belief and all the things that you consider 'normal', because 'convention' may be defined totally different in another culture.

 

will it enrich your life? definitely. but it requires a lot of energy to acclimatize and emerge yourself into a new culture. - it's one thing to travel to different countries for holidays than to move, live and work there.

 

i always moved for my education/ career, but i don't think i would have ever considered moving somewhere just to find out about the dating scene

[abitbroken]

I would pay attention to this.

 

Also, not all countries will let you plop yourself down and live there, just like you can't decide to come to live in the United States. You have to have something else to offer than "I want to meet your women!" How will you support yourself there, by the way? Unless you are independently wealthy, of course. maybe it would be better to first try to meet Indian women here. Plenty are born in the US or come here to go to school. You can even go to dating sites and just indicate that you prefer Indian and Asian women.

[CrazyKing]

if a person doesn't fit in with the dating culture of their own country, then should they go abroad to find a significant other?

 

The thing is though, i find myself greatly attracted to women from India and East Asia. I seldom see an Indian women, for instance, whom I find physically unappealing. I'm actually thinking of locating to these areas for a few years, since I find my chances of finding a mate would be higher. Another point is that these cultures aren't as superficial, so maybe i would be better attuned there in the dating sphere of things.

 

Guess why many guys would like to travel aboard to get someone special - because people are more open and FREE when they're outside their own country or if they talk to a person from a different culture...

At some point my own aim was to get some kind of "exotic" girl, been flirting and hanging around with french, columbian, estonian, german girls in clubs & bars... After that I realized that I could experiment with talking the same way to the ones that are from here, guess what - they become much more interesting and I don't really think I should chase someone from a different country...

[k8s]

try it then you wont ask what if? takes a lot of guts and you may come back single but at least u have it a go and dont have to wonder. I have travelled to the other side of the world and no luck but now it makes me happy to look for someone at my doorstep without having to wonder if the grass is greener somewhere else- go for it!