Break up with my Ex after 5 years..

[drue]

Here's my story. We dated for 5 years.It's been about 2 weeks since we broke up. Ive been doing NC for 2 weeks. Last coversation, She told me that she alway love me, and she will miss me. I am an amazing given person that I treat her better than her parents, but she want to break up with me because she need space to figure out herself and focus on her career before we are going to the next step (She is a professional Ballet dancer) There is a 6 years age cap. She is only 23 years old and I am her second boyfriends since she was 15. I do understand her point because I was 23 once, and I was confused.

The day after the break up, I received an email from her sister, she want to thank me taking care her sister for the past five years and wish me well. I reply to her with a short email saying: We should all move forward and I do valued her friendship and kindness. I will always miss her and her family.

 

Here is my question, for the past few weeks before we broken up. We only have sex 3 times. I didnt say anything, but now when I look back she will get text messages and she will respond her text away from me, I think there could be another person. Because it since she is moving on, she didnt call or email me. We used to talk few times on the phone and we will see each other 4 times a week. She is a very needy person.

 

I dont know I am just guessing. please help and give me some advise, what should I do.

[keefy1972]

It's very possible she was seeing someone. It does not matter now though, as you guys have broken up. To find out one way or the other would only hamper you in getting over the break up and moving on with your life. You've done yourself proud by not having any contact with her directly since the break up. If you have any hopes, or desire, to get back with her then this is a crucial thing. I would suggest you maintain the no contact and do not pursue finding out if she is with someone else. You have bigger fish to fry. You need to heal your broken heart. Pulling scabs off of your wound will prevent that healing from taking place.

[Sarati]

Hi, welcome to ENA. Breakups can be incredibly painful and confusing. It sounds like in addition to losing your girlfriend, you are losing the relationships you've built with her family members for the past 5 years. That's a big loss.

 

It's natural for you to wonder many things. After while, you will feel better. I don't know what to tell you about her private texts or the fact that you only had sex 3 times in the weeks prior to your breakup, or if those two elements are even related. It is possible that she met someone else, but it's also possible that the texts were from a girlfriend or her sister, discussing the breakup or other things. You may never know, and you are really better off NOT knowing. She made the choice to move on, and you are showing maturity by trying to move on as well. I would stay NC, and try not to torture yourself with questions about what she is doing now, or may have done in the past. Try to just let her go. Just take good care of yourself, realize that you will grieve this loss. If you can keep busy, and try to get out and meet other people, you will feel better sooner. I know these are the standard answers. Just try to move forward, and realize that you can't do anything about what your ex did or is doing. Your healing will take time, you will have ups and downs but, ultimately, you will feel better. You sound like a great guy, a rational person. Hang in there.

[drue]

I know I shouldnt thinkin too much, if there is another guy in the picture, I will have less respect for her and also will hurt my feeling. I guess from now on, NC is the only option I have.. It will take a long time because I still love her..

[SweetiePie05]

The same exact thing happened to me. My ex just left me out of a 4 year relationship and needed to do the same thing. I have some threads on here that may help you, some of the responses I got really made me feel a little better.

 

What I'm doing now, is just keeping myself busy, so try to do the same. Do things that you like to do and just try to be happy in yourself. I went and looked through my ex stuff and found out there was someone else with him, that's the worst feeling in the world, so I would suggest you not try to find out. It will only make things harder trust me. Just go out and have a good time, don't put your life on pause because you have to live your life too. This is the hardest thing ever to be with someone for so long and it just be over so fast. But if I can do it, you can def do it. I'm a wimp lol. Take care and be strong!!! Try not to stay stuck on it, just keep on keeping on.

[drue]

Question: Her sister got engaged 3 weeks ago. Should I send her sister a card to Congrat' her??

[dreamwarrior]

I am so sorry that your in such pain....I understand completely...recently I ended a 5 year relationship, but it still hurts...I had to do, what I had to do. Memories are the hardest, since we did so much together, but I wasn't happy and knew I could not go on anymore.

 

I truly wish you all the best and just find happiness in yourself...that is most important.

 

all the best to you....... ~dream~

[dreamwarrior]

No...that is breaking NC...you must cut even the family from your life as well...only will bring up more pain....sorry that seems so harsh, but it's my honest answer.

[just mEe]

its possible she was seeing someone, but how can you know if she never told you. try to forget about her, i know its hard i have been with someone for 8 years and i dont know if we should be together anymore and i dont wanna think about breaking up but it might come to an end. my advice: time will tell, it will get easier. good luck!

[Sarati]

I know I shouldnt thinkin too much, if there is another guy in the picture, I will have less respect for her and also will hurt my feeling. I guess from now on, NC is the only option I have.. It will take a long time because I still love her..

 

Of course it will hurt your feelings if she chose someone else over you, especially after 5 years but, unfortunately, this sometimes happens. It feels like a slap in the face.

 

Give yourself time to heal. It's very hard when someone we love leaves us. You will recover. I hope you can meet someone else wonderful, very soon.

 

Good luck...keep posting on ENA.

[gwakie]

 

What I'm doing now, is just keeping myself busy, so try to do the same. Do things that you like to do and just try to be happy in yourself. I went and looked through my ex stuff and found out there was someone else with him, that's the worst feeling in the world, so I would suggest you not try to find out. It will only make things harder trust me. Just go out and have a good time, don't put your life on pause because you have to live your life too. This is the hardest thing ever to be with someone for so long and it just be over so fast. But if I can do it, you can def do it. I'm a wimp lol. Take care and be strong!!! Try not to stay stuck on it, just keep on keeping on.

 

That's what it took for me to finally be able to let go.

 

I had to snoop, because she probably didn't give you a valid reason you could grasp, so you're always wandering, "well, why? what happened?"

 

Once i found out that there was another person, it gave me closure so I could finally let go.

[drue]

That's cold.. she deleted me and my brother from facebook... I guess she really want me out of her life