Do you believe in sexual chemistry or is it just all mental?

[keith515]

My last ex said she wasn't sexually attracted to me anymore. Even one night when we were drunk and I was about to go down on her she asked me what I was doing. But she did say when she was with her abusive controlling BF, that she never lost her desire for him. He denied her sex.

 

So based on that I've been reading alot about sexual chemistry, more specifically, when the guy is a "good catch." But what I haven't read about is when the guy possess all the qualities a woman would want but the GF complains there is no sexual chemistry with their BF. I believe sexual chemistry exists in the beginning but no bond has formed. What about when a relationship forms? Can you really call it sexual chemistry at that point?

 

If there was sexual chemistry in the beginning, what would make it go away? Do you believe chemistry is the problem or could there be something more? Loss of connection because of both of them are not communicating anymore?

 

I have this one friend who had the best sex with a BF who didn't treat her right? Yet, her husband never truly excited her the way he did. But, he treated a lot better and had better qualities.

 

Is it possible to have all the qualities a woman would want and still be sexually desirable to a woman?

 

I'd like to hear from women who have lost their sexual attraction to their BF's or husbands, and then gained it back or found someone who did meet their needs. Do you think it was truly about sex or something else?

 

I believe sex is mental. If it wasn't, we wouldn't be able to fantasize to pleasure ourselves.

[waveseer]

It's all about communication and unconditional positive regard.

[Cardinal]

When we are talking chemistry, time and loss of infatuation could be an issue. 3-4 years into a relationship 'might' not feel quite the same as 12 months in.

 

Why does chemistry die? Maybe b/c something that created it fails to exist anymore. Two people could fall out of love. There could be severe stressors in a relationship. People and their goals can change over time, they can grow apart. Major drop in sex drive over a long timeframe. Change in life situation.

 

Chemistry can be a great barometer for potential, but for a relationship base, you need more than that.