After five years...

[irish-gal]

Well many know me from being petrified about bringing my b/f home after five years (i know weird, i have anxieties) however he and my family met a few days ago and it was fine but they still don't know were going out that (5 yrs) long (they think about 3) How and when do i tell them? Do u think they'll be mad/upset/disappointed/think i'm weird?What about other pple. What will they think? my relatives etc?What do i say? I FEEL SO GUILTY

 

Secondly how do u know when u don't want to be with somebody anymore. I know i have 2 questions.

 

 

Thanks

[theadvicenut]

why would your family be upset and what would be the need in telling them how long you have been going out, whats the big deal. only you know how they would react.

 

when the time comes you will know when you dont what to be with a person any more.

[glegend]

They might not really like it that you kept in the dark for so long but I'm pretty sure they would understand why you did. Most likely they wont really care.

 

Personally, I`m a bit scared to bring a girl home. I'm not afraid of her meting my parents, a bit sceptical what she might think of them in terms of the way they dress. I'm not afraid of her meeting my sister. I'm not afraid of her meeting my aunt and uncle from my dad side of the family. My cousin, her husband and nephew again from my dads side of the family. I'm terrified that they are going to look at my uncle (moms brother) and his children (my cousins) and run in fear. They are that bad, no manner no nothing.

[redrose85]

OP- I can tell you that my sister and I were shocked and a little upset when at my brother's wedding, the bride's Dad told the crowd that they had been together for many more years than we were ever aware of. My brother only brought her home to meet us after they had (supposedly) been dating for a year. Now I know that it was more like 3-4 years. It kind of hurt, and made me wonder why he wasn't eager to have his family meet her, even after they had already started living together, and were living in the same town. Be honest with them, it's the best thing.

[irish-gal]

Wow how did ure parents react REDROSE? What did u/ure brother tell everybody the reason for not telling the truth? i mean i'm not getting married or anything but i do feel really bad. I'm not ashamed/embarrassed or anything i just have severe social anxiety which makes me look shy/withdrawn etc..and gives off the wrong impression. Its not fair really, even my b/f is extremely shy so its not entirely my fault. How could i let something like this get out of hand so much...

[redrose85]

Sometimes it just happens. I didn't mean to make you feel bad

I don't know how my parents felt, they never talked about it, really. I think that you should really just be straight with them that you have been together for 5 years, not 3. Can you think of ANY reason why you would have been reluctant to tell them how long you had actually been together?

[irish-gal]

Sometimes it just happens. I didn't mean to make you feel bad

I don't know how my parents felt, they never talked about it, really. I think that you should really just be straight with them that you have been together for 5 years, not 3. Can you think of ANY reason why you would have been reluctant to tell them how long you had actually been together?

 

I was afraid to. i had started college and was quite young. I also didn't think we'd last that long and we werent that serious for quite some time (year and a half anyways) i find it quite hard to talk to them and get embarrassed REALLY easily. So how long were they going out b4 your parents met her. Did u ever confront him about it?

[redrose85]

No point in confronting him. Apparently they had been dating since he was 17 and she 15... they got married when he was 26 and she was 24. So a LONG time. I think you should just tell your parents what you told me, that it took awhile for things to get serious, and you didn't want to jump to conclusions about the relationship, because you only feel comfortable bringing someone home that you are really serious about, and can see a future with. Don't sweat it