Feeling really down today

[barkode]

Hi All, Sorry for the length, just need to clear my head a bit,

 

I found ENA in June when my GF broke up with me(I was 20, she was 19). Never posted but found a lot of support, especially in the Getting Back Together section. Just a little background about what happened.

 

Met her freshman year of High School. Talked daily in person, talked over the summer online, and then started hanging out sophomore year. We started dating Junior year. First relationship for both of us. Only problem came up when we had to decide what colleges to go to senior year. We got into one of the same schools and she got into another one about 100 miles away. She went back and fourth until the last minute when she decided to go to the one 100 miles away from the one I went to. We talked about it and decided we'd make it work, by visiting each other on the weekends.

 

Freshman year of college she missed home and missed me and talked about transferring to my school. She applied to transfer but didn't get in. Sophomore year started the same way, missing each other and talking about transferring. She applied again and got in, but couldn't decided what to do. She was going to a better school but missed me. I made the mistake of telling her that she should transfer or we should probably break up. Bad idea, especially since I had no intention of breaking up, and truly loved her. We went back and forth over April through June of this year about what was going to happen. Finally she decided that she would stay at her school and finish her last two years. I was OK with it, because we'd already done two years and could do two more without much trouble. We talked marriage and kids for a year or two, and both thought it'd be great.

 

June of this year was tough, she stopped saying she loved me, wasn't sure what to think about us. I now know she checked out about then, but I kept trying to hold things together. We came home for summer break and she broke up with me, a week after our four year anniversary. I was pretty devastated, begged for an hour or two. The next day my family and I left for three weeks in Europe, which I spent most of the time busy thinking about us. I found out halfway through the trip that she was in a relationship with someone else. I came home from Europe, IM'd her to ask how she was doing, and she told me we couldn't talk anymore and blocked me on all online services we used.

 

She met her new guy in the college chorus and was friendly with him over the group's spring break trip to China. The guy came on pretty strong, and kept telling her it was too bad she had a boyfriend back home, cause he'd love to date a girl like her. She came back home and told me about it all, feeling bad that she kind of led him on, and upset about doing that too him. I thought it was funny that he fell for her, thinking it was cool that someone else found her so attractive, but didn't think anything would happen.

 

He graduated this summer and they continued to date. I was NC by her choice, which was OK. I sent two texts over the the next 6 months. I figured we'd not talk for a few months and in a few months maybe we could at least talk some. I wrote her a letter but never sent it, figuring I might give it to her over Thanksgiving or Christmas. I wanted to apologize for the way I wanted her to transfer and tell her some stuff I'd figured out about myself. I would have loved to try again with her, as we really were good together. I was doing pretty good otherwise, moving on somewhat, all though I'll admit I could have done more to move on.

 

Now Christmas break has started and everyone is home again. She lives a mile away and I was hoping we could see each other at a few different things with friends, and at least re-open the lines of communication.

 

This morning two friends came by with some news. ExGF, junior in college, 20 years old, is engaged. I was pretty stunned and still am. I found out he asked a week ago, and luckily no one told me, would have really thrown my head for finals. Can't believe she'd say yes to someone she's dated for 6 months, especially with another year in school.

 

So I can guess some of the replies, I should have moved on, I shouldn't care what she's doing now, it's none of my business what she does, you're both too young, first loves never last, all of which I probably should have heard months ago from people. I feel like the breakup is happening all over again, now that all chances of us trying again seem to be gone.

 

I guess I just needed to get it all written out and posted somewhere. Thanks for reading if you made it this far. Feel free to rip into me for not moving on as much as I should have after 6 months I'm just glad to get this out there, makes me feel somewhat better.

 

Thanks for any comments, criticism, or ideas.

[waveseer]

We move on exactly when we're ready to move on and not a minute sooner. The question is "Are you ready now?"

[Wmast]

Man, your story really sucks to hear and I know the pain you feel.I guess you have no other choice but to move on now. Maybe this is the closure you need. I know it's tough to think about someone you love falling in love and now marrying someone else but I guess that's the way the cookie crumbled for you.

Treat yourself good, tell your mutual friends that you no longer wish to hear anything about your ex; (Make sure they don't tell her that because things may get misconstrued and it may make you seem like you're still reeling over the whole situation). After that, just do your best to move on. Gonna be tough but you'll make it!

Good luck bro!

[barkode]

Thanks guys,

You're right, I really need to move on now. If I wasn't sure about her intentions before, you can't get clearer than this.

Ready2- I think I have to force myself now, close that chapter of my life and get going.

Wmasat- I should shut everything out from friends. I felt like I had to get some details from friends today, but it doesn't help too much. She's getting married and that's all I need to know

 

 

Thanks again

[Shyguy24]

Hey man you are young , i know its hard but you will get over it.