he won't stop contacting me...

[urbanmiller]

ok it's finally time that i ask for some help/advice about my situation...

 

me and my ex broke up about 2 months ago. he didn't want to be in the relationship anymore because he wasnt sure that he wanted to get married to me and i can tell that he wasn't feeling it anymore. we have dated for 2 years and are in our mid20s and are both professionals.

 

so i come to find out that he is dating other people and actually really liked one of his dates. fine. basically since we broke up i have been totally over HIM, but i'm not really over the hurt that i feel due to the relationship ending and the pain he has caused me and continues to cause to me.

 

what is difficult for me is that he keeps contacting me and he will not stop. his contact with me has not been to initiate getting back together so i thereforee do not care what he has to say (and even if he did want to get back together it would take me a very very very long time, if ever, to accept him back).

 

most of the time i ignore his contact and in the past 2 months i usually go about 2 weeks of NC, but i will admit that some of the times i just get so angry and snap and ask him why he is talking to me. i get so angry because i do not know why he is doing this to me. why try to talk to me when you don't want to be with me, you are dating other people, and i have made it clear that i want you to go away?

 

why does he continue to contact me? how do i get him to stop? i don't know if this is a mistake, but i emailed his brother and explained the situation to him, hoping that maybe he would talk to him.

 

anytime i hear from him i just feel so much worse. pls help me.

[JohnGalt]

just block his number (or get a new one), his email address, his screennames, his facebook. Cut him out of your life.

[emma34]

your answer is simple (sort of). have one last convo with him (if u want) being like 'i need some time off from talking...i'll contact u when im ready' or something.

 

do not answer when he calls you, do not respond to his txts, etc etc..IGNORE him, and he will eventually go away

[mags_7531]

YEs it can be as simple as changing your number and deleting them from social networks but the real question is do you really want him to stop contacting you? Will you be upset when you stop hearing from him?

 

Im in a similar situation and wish my ex would stop contacting me cause im doing NC but at the same time im terrified of the day when he stops contacting me all together

[Lissy]

I completely understand your problem. I was/am in a similar situation. Except my ex cheated on me, I found out and left him and he is still seeing the woman he cheated with. Why is he still contacting me constantly? Good question. I don't know and probably never will. Neither will you. I know this is hard to do, but the best thing is to ignore him. He will get the hint eventually. It took my ex 8 unreturned phone calls and 1 ignored text message over a 3 week period to finally get the hint. Stick to your guns and don't snap when you get annoyed. It hurt me so much when my ex just kept calling. I would break down and sob when I saw his name on my phone. But I refused to go back to square one and answer him. It was hard enough the first time to begin ignoring him, I couldn't let myself go through that again.

 

I was told to change my number, etc. too. But I guess I am just too stubborn for that. Changing my cell phone number would have been a huge pain in the butt and it's likely that he would have eventually gotten my new number from mutual friends anyway. But if it's easier for you than ignoring his calls, by all means do it.

 

If you are scared about how you will feel when he actually stops, don't be. I was too. But then I realized something. He was disrespecting me by ignoring my request for NC in a big way. On the one hand, I do admit that it made me feel sort of good to know that he couldn't stop himself from contacting me. But on the other, it made me feel like crap to know he was only feeding his own selfish needs and being disrespectful of me. Now that he is leaving me alone, I feel that at least he is showing some respect for my feelings.

[lost1607307474]

It sounds like he's clinging onto the situation. When I broke up with my last serious partner, we had been together for about 2 years and although we were both over each other, he kept calling me "just to talk." I figured it was because we had spent 2 whole years together and he was finding it hard to let go - even if he was over me.

 

But you've really got to tell him that you don't want him contacting you anymore. Try to have a serious talk with him and tell him this. If that doesn't work, block his number or get a new phone number. Continuing contact isn't going to help the situation in the slightest.