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When moving on means moving away.


DenialTwist
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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It's been a while since I last posted on this forum. My last thread was about unrequieted love, a girl that I had fallen in love with, thought she was my twin flame (I still do) but eventually got friend zoned.

 

I've tried everything I can to move on. I've tried to go nc. I stopped contacting her, but she kept contacting me. I thought i would brave it up and be friends, but everytime I see her or hear from her she lights my day up. Everytime we part I end up hurting and aching for the next time we meet.

 

The thing is ever since I have met this girl I have had little or no interest in anyone else. It's like there is something stopping me from being with other people. Even when offered on a plate I declined.

 

Now I have reached a point in my life where I am being made redundant from my job. I am lucky enough to have worked hard and have a career and even in this difficult climate I should be able to find another job quite easily. The world is my oyster, and the redundancy money means that I don't have to work for another year, and it would certainly cover relocation costs.

 

So this is my dilemma...should I move away just to be away from her in the hope that my heart will heal and I will be able to find someone? Or do I stay in my town, my country and carry on feeling like this?

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Physically moving never helped me resolve any problems except unemployment (and I've done it literally dozens of times in my life). The only time I'd say moving is a definite solution is if you see her constantly everywhere you go - then changing locations so you can live your life without the daily hope/risk is helpful.

 

Time is really the only thing that can heal, as can acceptance and moving on with being centered on you. Sometimes that's tough, I know, because the heart doesn't really understand, but you have to stop giving it hope by being around her or in contact with her until you're ok.

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You shouldn't move just to get away from one person. Do you like where you live? Are your family and friends there?

 

However, if you do have a year and a bit of money, why not go traveling? That would definitely broaden your perspective and I know it's helped me to forget what's happening at home sometimes. You could go to different countries, maybe teach English, do couch-surfing, etc. It could be really fun and just what you need.

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Sometimes a new place and different frame of reference can really jolt you out of a rut.

 

But then you are in a strange place and all your other support systems and friends are not with you, so you may be lonely in general until you make new friends.

 

I think if you can't get over her on your own, it is time for some counseling. Perhaps you need to learn some skills to do with accepting that you need to move on and allow yourself to love someone else. If you can't get to that point on your own, a counselor is definitely warranted.

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i don't know anything really about twin flames, but isn't it said that these relationships can be very painful if one or both of the 'souls' are not ready yet to meet? and that in this case it is easier to focus on yourself, and give the other one also time/space to do the necessary growth because in the end you will meet, you do not have to enforce it?

 

on a more earthly bound reasoning: in this current situation you should base your decision of where you want to live and work solely on yourself. only if you are happy with who you are and what you are doing will you be able to have a loving/ mature relationship with someone else. it might be her, it might be someone else. in this day and age with all the internet communication and air travel, you can easily have a ldr if the person is really worth it

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