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this fits soo many places...


twistedangel

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i am 19 years old. my boyfriend is twice my age. i really love him and he says he loves me. he smokes, drinks every night excessivley, and gambles. he also has a serious temper, and is very controlling.

he has his own business and i work for him. he doesnt pay me, it costs me money to work for him. he makes me feel guilty for not giving him money to use in the store. ive given in in the past, he owes me 3000.00. he owes my family money too.

he gets so angry, he screams at me in front of customers all the time and belittles me. he rarely uses my name. calls me woman or b..

when he gets yelling he wont stop he comes back to me 3 or 4 times telling me im a worthless c effing b..soo many things i cant say on here, he tells me to get out, and when i do leave he yells at me for leaving..in between he gets really nice explaining to me why i drove him to yell at me. when i dont respond the way he wants it starts all over..

i find i hit myself and scratch at my wrists when hes turned around. i shake and twitch involuntarily which really gets me in trouble. im not allowed to cry, never but its so hard not to. when he finally lets me go home i cry until i wake up in the morning. and then i have to go back.

he only got violent with me once. i thought i was going to die. he came at me and grabbed my snake from around my neck ( i was trying to get out with her) he threw her and knocked me to the ground hard, it was a cement floor. i landed on my arm and lost my glasses. he dragged me up and went into why i made him do it.

i couldnt breathe, i was gasping and i couldnt see, i begged him to find my glasses and he wouldnt he brought me in the office and put me on the floor. i must have scared him because he hasnt hit me since.

hes driven all my friends away and he sold all my pets.

he always asks if im leaving him and if i still love him.

he never says im sorry.

 

ive always been afraid to say anything to anyone around here in case it got back to him. and i just had to put it out there, its been a year.

i stumbled accross this forum looking for a reason why i like to hit myself.

i know this isnt the neatest post but im in no mindset to mind my punctuation and grammar.

im not expecting pity, i know soo many have it way worse. i just needed it out there.

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i have so much invested, time, money, and alot depends on me there.

 

Fair enough, but treating it as an investment - ask the following questions:

  1. Have you gotten anything out of it in the past?
  2. Are you getting anything out of it?
  3. Are you likely to get anything out of it in the future?

 

There's a time that comes when you abandon an investment, that is giving and unlikely to give any returns.

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what?!?!?!?!!

the question *I* want to ask is... why are you putting yourself through this!?!?

not "why do you hit yourself."

 

first of all you deserve to have a job in which you get paid, but that's besides the point. selling your pets, belittling you, hitting you... this is not the way a man that loves you treats you. he is controlling you and using you and you are letting him.

 

i am too appalled to even go on with my answer but just please do yourself a favor and get out of this RIGHT NOW.

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i have so much invested, time, money, and alot depends on me there.

alot depends on you there... so? what are you getting out of it? why do you owe this guy ANYTHING? you don't.

 

you're not getting that money back, sorry.

 

and you're not going to ever get anything out of this for yourself. be done with it.

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im not trying to be an a-hole... but ur boyfriend sounds like the scum of the earth and a complete loser. If i ended up like him at the age of 38 i would hang myself. Are you afraid to leave him? Because it sounds like you realize hes a loser too. He treats you like sht and he doesnt sound like the type of person a 19 year old girl should be spending her time with. If you stay with this loser it could scar you, i suggest you find a way out of this relationship and think back on ur life and figure out why you would ever be with such a low life scumbag. Some girls are attracted to abusive men because of things in their past. Anyways, you need to go out and live a normal teenage life, this guy is holding you back.

 

I really am not trying to be mean, this is just my reaction to your post.

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and dont try to justify this guys actions either, truth is he is a bad guy and a complete loser. Im sure he can be loving and trick ur brain time and time again after he hurts you, but he is going to hurt you again and again and again and its gonna be an ongoing cycle until either... he snaps and reallly hurts you or you snap and become scarred emotionally forever. GET OUT OF IT NOW! He is ruining your life, when i hear about girls who are with guys like this it pisses me off more than anything. How he treats you pisses me off and that you dont stick up for urself and are blind to how he doesnt give a da*n about you pisses me off. this guy is just such a loser who isnt going anywhere in life and he wants to drag you down with him. and take out all his frustration of being such a loser out on you so he can feel his pathetic life is at least dominant in one way.

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This guy doesn't love you at all. He's a user, an abuser and a loser. Walk away, don't look back and kiss your $3000 goodbye...it's a small price to pay for building a decent life for yourself. Find a job that pays you for starters. Don't you think you deserve much better than this?

 

I agree, you couldn't have say it any better. Get away from that scumbag that can be your father, at 19 you should be dating decent guys your age.

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