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type of guy with a lot of female friends?


yumicecream

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I've been dating this guy for three weeks. I already agreed to exclusivity and my friends think its too soon.

I find him attractive and he has a personality that I think a lot of women really like. I think he flirts A LOT.

 

What do you think about the kind of guy who has A LOT of female friends, many of whom he has dated in the past? Isn't it kind of suspicious?

 

To me, it seems like an ego thing, or like a "plan B" thing or something that could be potentially troublesome...women thinking they can get another woman's man b/c he flirts with them...

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Is there a way to take back the exclusivity without hurting him or making him mad? Men have a way of losing feelings sometimes when you try to step back. Once you make that step forward, to them its either in stone or you end it, it seems. I've been punished for taking back things I already agreed to. Its so soon...I didn't have my head on straight...men get me all weird.

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Is there a way to take back the exclusivity without hurting him or making him mad? Men have a way of losing feelings sometimes when you try to step back. Once you make that step forward, to them its either in stone or you end it, it seems. I've been punished for taking back things I already agreed to. Its so soon...I didn't have my head on straight...men get me all weird.

i posted my last comment before i saw this.

if you don't want to be exclusive with him, you'll just have to be honest. sure he might get upset, but that's a risk you must be willing to take. if he is mature, then he will understand.

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I don't think EVERY guy with a ton of female friends is questionable but i have known many who are. I personally would be uncomfortable dating a guy whose friends were mostly female or who had a lot of them. Especially if he dated them before...when you have a bunch of friends who are ex's - i dont mean the occasional one that perhaps just migrated into real friendship - but when more than one are ex's it can really create a level of comfort, TOO much comfort, in their friendship and can lend itself to too cozy of one on one sessions.

 

It is up to you waht you can handle, but i doubt i'd be comfortable with it. I'd likely just be convincing myself to be cool and secure when that isn't really the issue...it would be more that it goes against something i believe strongly in and i would be kidding myself only.

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God I just went through this. I have a lot of female friends some of which I dated and some I have not. I started dating this girl and we were sleeping together and spending time together. She then said she wanted to step back, and it made me feel like she did not trust me at all. I tried to do it, but it just seemed fake. I had no interest in those other girls, just her. The potential relationship ended of course and I am sad, because it could have been a great one. Always trust until your given a reason not to, it's all about taking that chance.

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My bf has a lot of female friends. He was the manager of the girls swim team. I have no problem with this.

 

But, something about being friends with a bunch of ex's makes this situation uncomfortable.

 

There is being friends (being cordial, talking every once in a while) And then there is surrounding yourself with your ex's. The idea that they can't let go of them. It would especially bother me if these girls broke up with him.

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Always trust until your given a reason not to, it's all about taking that chance.

 

That's exactly what I wanted to say.

Always trust, be open to trust, don't put walls up. Sure, if you trust every man you meet without knowing much about them, you might end up being burned - but this could be an incredible guy worth holding onto - don't let the females in his life ruin that.

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My bf has a lot of female friends. He was the manager of the girls swim team. I have no problem with this.

 

But, something about being friends with a bunch of ex's makes this situation uncomfortable.

 

There is being friends (being cordial, talking every once in a while) And then there is surrounding yourself with your ex's. The idea that they can't let go of them. It would especially bother me if these girls broke up with him.

 

 

Yea it is the intermix of a bunch of former women he dated or slept with that had me abugg when i read the OP.

 

I think if a person has a big variety of friends - male and female - it suggests a friendly outgoing personality. If those friends are mainly ONLY female and women he has formerly slept with, i think it might be a real problem.

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Yea it is the intermix of a bunch of former women he dated or slept with that had me abugg when i read the OP.

 

I think if a person has a big variety of friends - male and female - it suggests a friendly outgoing personality. If those friends are mainly ONLY female and women he has formerly slept with, i think it might be a real problem.

 

I have to agree here....

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I used to be the exact same way. And you know why? Because I was insecure, and needy. I wanted someone to latch on to when my girlfriend couldn't fill the hole inside of my soul. I wasn't willing to let go of my past, because I valued myself through other people rather than valuing myself simply because of who I am.

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