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Broke NC again


C6Z06

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Broke NC again yesterday, my EX called me just wanting to hold a conversation with me, she really didn't have anything to talk about. Probably just wanted to hear my voice or something. We talked for about 3 minutes, before I told her I was about to go work on my car and I'd give her a call back later. I didn't call her back, because my goal is to make her miss me.

I seems like she's calling me every other day. She broke up with me on 12/1, and has called me on, 12/3, 12/5, 12/7, and 12/10. I've only called her once (12/9). She's called me 4 times to my 1 call. 4:1...

 

I wonder why she's continuing to call.....??

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because she's weaning herself off you. By answering her calls, you're making it easier for her.

 

How?

 

I mean i've broken up with a girl before and once I've broken it off with them, I've never called them back, just totally disappeared, no weaning or anything.

Now if I couldn't make up my mind and didn't know what I wanted, I'd keep in contact with them and I think that's why she's continuing to call...LOL, I just called my sister and she told me that's what she thinks she's doing and that my Ex still likes me.....

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Well, it all depends on the person. If you're the one breaking up then the proper thing to do is NC, that you won't be giving the other person false hope. There are many reasons why she could be contacting you (guilt, uncertainty, weaning, or just simple weakness - it's hard breaking up with people) but none of those reasons are going to help you regain a balanced emotional life. Of course, she likes you, but that doesn't mean she wants to come back to you. And if she does, then she needs to step up and be more definite in her message. Staying in this this uncertain gray zone will not help her make her decision nor will it help you get over her.

 

What I've read here countless times (and I think it's true) is that at this point there is nothing you can do to influence her decision. She's got to be left alone to really miss you and appreciate you.

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Actually my sister made a good point. She said she thinks my Ex doesn't know if she wants me beacuse she doesn't know if she trusts me. Which coincides with what her friends were saying, that she doesn't want to get hurt and her friends think that I'll hurt her feelings one day...I think that the reason she came up with the "space" reason, and maybe the "what ifs" are driving her crazy and she's debating wether to take the plunge....

 

 

How can I make her trust me?

If I could get her to trust in me, I could get her back.

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Actually my sister made a good point. She said she thinks my Ex doesn't know if she wants me beacuse she doesn't know if she trusts me. Which coincides with what her friends were saying, that she doesn't want to get hurt and her friends think that I'll hurt her feelings one day...I think that the reason she came up with the "space" reason, and maybe the "what ifs" are driving her crazy and she's debating wether to take the plunge....

 

 

How can I make her trust me?

If I could get her to trust in me, I could get her back.

 

You have to understand that what your sister and her friends think is all SPECULATIVE.

 

You cannot make anybody trust you. Really? You want to force her to trust you? You can't get somebody back who doesn't want to be with you. I'm sorry, but it sounds like you're in denial. I was at that stage too. If you don't want to hurt any longer, learn NC until you are emotionally detached.

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I'm female. I think you should stop taking her calls. If she wants to get back together, she'll eventually say so. If she knows you are availabel toher, she can just use that to make herself feel better while starting hte moving on process.

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Im in that situation now, m ex wants me back but ive lost all trust in him where my feelings are concerned, he really hurt me and i feel i cant go back because hel hurt me more in the long run but i still have loads of feeling for him and find it hard to completely let go, she could be feeling similar.

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