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would any woman put up with this??


chick08
What To Do If They Cheat - Do this ...
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Hi i just want to know how many women would put up with this behaviour from their man. a few months ago i went away with my man and my two kids and on the last fri of our holiday i booked us all a cruise its was just an evening on the boat with buffet dancers and fireworks. The night was going well then when the singer came out he would just sit there but when the dancers came out he would get up and take pics. anyway that didnt bother me at first but when the show had finished he told me he was going toilet and i followed him down and i saw him in the toilet doorway watching the girls getting changed well i was mad and asked him what he was doing and he said there had been a queue. well he really pissed me off bout that then when were about to get off the boat he said im gonna have my pic taken with them and i said no u aint and he saw i was really mad then left it and we went home. Then sun was our last day before we went home so in the evening he said lets go and have alook round the harbour area because there were shops so i was like ok. so that night we went down there and we walked past the bit where we had caught the boat from on the fri and he went up to the woman on the stand and said "whens the boat in " and the woman said about 45 mins and he was like ok cool " is the same entertainment on as fri night " and she says yes so i said to him what do u want to know that for and he said i just wondered which i thought was a bit odd so i said come on then lets go and he said "lets wait for the boat to come in because i want to have my pics taken with them dancers from fri night" i was like WHAT and he had even brought his own camera so we started arguing bout it and the woman said well by the time the boat comes in the girls will have got changed so theres no point and he was like thats ok i still want it done well i was so angry and getting upset now that he brought me all the way down there not to just look around bout to get pics. when he saw me upset he said" give me all that money that u got so i did and he gave me about 10 euro back and said you are pathetic go and get a cab home with the kids and i said no then the boat came in and he went on. He came off bout 10 mins later i knew he has done it but he wouldnt show me he said the battery had gone in his camera i was upset all night and all i got from him was i was paranoid and pathetic even now i tell him that what he did that night was wrong and he says there was nothing wrong in the way he acted and that he has asked other womens opinions and they said there is nothing wrong in that. I dont know if i did over react or not but i do have a trust issue with him anyways as he is always took pics of other women either away on holidys or on the train or at a bus stop but he doesnt see anything wrong in what he does.

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Taking pictures of the dancers doesn't seem that bad. Spying on them changing does. Wanting to have his picture taken with them isn't that bad. Taking your money (why did you give it to him?!) & giving you back $10 & telling you to take the kids is rather rude.

 

I don't think it was a big deal to want a picture taken with them, but why is he making it such a big deal that he would drag you all the way to the boat dock under false pretenses? That would tick me off.

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i followed him because i knew what he was going to do. he hasnt cheated but he has flirted with alot of girls behind my back, told them he is single and even arranged to mee him so i dont trust him at all.

 

I think this is the bigger problem than him wanting a picture of those dancers. Mind you spying on them while they are changing is pretty disgusting...didn't they have a change area with a closed door? At any rate, your partner seems to have some insecurity issues which is causing him to do whatever he can to draw attention to himself from other women. I would sit down and have a talk with him about it because he is disrespecting you. If you doesn't acknowledge that he has a problem then I would suggest you walk away from this relationship because it is certainly not giving you peace of mind.

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Frankly, I would be quite furious about this. You know his problem goes beyond highly disrespectful ogling. You say he has attempted to meet up with other women. Seriously, I would let this guy go. I was with a serious ogler for 6.5 years, and it never got better no matter how much I tried to talk to him about it. It wasn't that he was being a jerk, it was that I was insecure.

 

So he's telling you that he isn't the problem, you are. You already know how his mind works and what he's going to do. He is not going to change. Instead, he will continue to behave like this and turn it around on you when you get upset. This is a recipe for utter misery.

 

To sum it up:

 

He is continually leering at other women + flirting with other women + attempting to meet up with other women = you will never be safe when he’s around other women.

 

For crying out loud, he does these things right in front of you.

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He is continually leering at other women + flirting with other women + attempting to meet up with other women = you will never be safe when he’s around other women.

 

For crying out loud, he does these things right in front of you.

AND gave you money for a cab ride home??? Your original question was "would you tolerate this?"

My answer: Hell no

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The thing is since i met him 3 years ago he has joined chat rooms dating sites as a single man had women ringing his phone i have had to message women myself and tell them he has a gf so i dont trust him at all and it happens alot when we argue or fall out and he says they are reactions to our arguments

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Maybe I am just old......because a man/woman to me should be much more attentive to what is going on in his/her pasture and less worried about another pasture. There is nothing wrong with admiring a beautiful woman/man, but to be so blatant and disrespectful while doing so is just 'plain wrong' to me.

 

We all look, but when with your mate, each one should be concentrating more on having a good time and fulfilling the others needs and wants versus who in the crowd has big t*ts or a big p*nis. There is plenty of time for ogling when away from each other, so why not focus on each other and making each other feel secure and special. The ol' 'if it feels good do it'. Disposable......that's the way some view their relationships these days.

 

Sorry this happened to you.......appears there may be a major 'pig' in your midst. It might be time to clean out the sty............

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The thing is since i met him 3 years ago he has joined chat rooms dating sites as a single man had women ringing his phone i have had to message women myself and tell them he has a gf so i dont trust him at all and it happens alot when we argue or fall out and he says they are reactions to our arguments

 

His "reactions" to your arguments are just plain horrible excuses. This is not a way to deal with relationship problems. Going on-line and looking for others only compounds the problems you already have with him, and I assume most of these arguments are about his behavior with other women.

 

There is no possible way you can go on forever monitoring his contact with other women, having to contact them to tell them he already has a girlfriend. And what about the ones you don't find out about? This is like a full-time job in which you should be paid $300 an hour. Your stress levels must be through the roof. I would be in my grave already.

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Chick, I just read your other posts and it sounds like you've had enough warning signs to not continue forward (including calling the police on him)... come on!!!! You don't need us to tell you what to do. Re-read your posts and start taking better care of yourself.

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