Oh my GOD, I've created a monster.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

It sounds like he is falling in love with his mystery dream girl, and is getting confident enough that he can blow you off!

 

Some people are too cowardly to break up with someone. They just behave really badly until the other person gets sick of it and does the dirty work for them.

 

Perhaps it is a good time to talk to him about these issues in general (not about the dream girl) and to see if he wants to really work on things or not (and decide whether you do or not too).

[waveseer]

He's preparing you for when he jumps ship. It would be great if there were a way he could jump and never know it was you. You could be all broken up about the relationship ending and he'd go off happily thinking he's got it made.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

>>masturbating in my bed and leaving cum on the wall

 

ok, that is probably the grossest thing i've ever heard. glad to hear you dumped that guy.

[pseudofemme]

I can't remember if I mentioned this yet, but prior to me creating Fake Girl, a few things were happening that made me a little suspicious. Such as him always minimizing windows on his computer when I walked by, and him spending a LOT of time on the computer at the wifi place and being totally vague about what he was doing there, etc. One time, I also overheard him on the phone (he must've thought I wasn't in earshot, I was in the bathroom) talking to a friend about his 'really hot' supervisor at his new job, and how she was all over him during his training period, and it got his "man juices flowing" (he actually used those words). That was actually the main thing that got me feeling a little uncomfortable, but again, I know boys will be boys. In addition, I was feeling a little sad because it seemed like he just wasn't taking any interest in my life anymore- like, I'd ask how his day went but he wouldn't reciprocate; he was being quite closed off.

 

I think I may just have a heart-to-heart talk with him tonight to see how he feels about our relationship.

 

Thanks again for all the opinions- I appreciate it sooooo much.

[keenan]

talking to a friend about his 'really hot' supervisor at his new job, and how she was all over him during his training period, and it got his "man juices flowing"

 

Good luck, girl. Keep us posted. I know you love him but I think he sounds like kind of a jerk. He's definitely untrustworthy and willing to jump ship at the next good chance, and I have to admit that at this point (since he's obviously preparing you for a breakup in a particularly cowardly way) I'd have a hard time not totally running with this situation and messing with his head a little bit. Be a better person than I am, LOL!

[BeStrongBeHappy]

Yes, it sounds like he's already trolling for a new girlfriend while living with you... really unclassy of him.

[rbr85]

You need to come clean. If this is what your relationship has been reduced to, than you have much bigger problems than him talking to girls on the internet. Tell him the truth, own your own actions, apologize. Then decide if you really want to be with someone who will complain about you on the internet, and not have the cajones to confront you about it in person.

[tylercdurden2004]

You need to come clean. If this is what your relationship has been reduced to, than you have much bigger problems than him talking to girls on the internet. Tell him the truth, own your own actions, apologize. Then decide if you really want to be with someone who will complain about you on the internet, and not have the cajones to confront you about it in person.

 

 

This pretty much sums it up nicely.

[Carnatic]

OK let's just be clear, from my understanding, he has quit his job in order to move and live with the OP... I think it's a bit unfair and presumptive to label him as a scrounger.

[FreedomRing]

Am i missing something here?

 

I dont see what all the "contemplating" is for at this point.

 

We have learned several things here but the following are the biggies, imo:

 

1) He's been earnestly and eagerly chatting with "mystery girl" who has similar interests as him, and although she is fictionary, thats a scary thought bc this is evident of how he would be acting to ANY hot girl who shares somethings in common with him..

 

2) He is communicating with this "mystery girl" via the SAME dating site, that he met you on....and is following the SAME pattern of "getting to know you" as he did with YOU.

 

3) He has tried the old reverse psychology bit, in trying to get YOU to break up with him(so he is also cowardly).

 

Of course the means in which you have learned all this is absolutely deceitful, for sure, however you have learned enough which has obviously caused you reason to worry that he may physically cheat--apparently emotionally cheating doesn't warrant an instant break up for you...soooo what are you still here for???

 

I don't buy the whole he owes you money bit....clearly that isn't high on his list to pay you back, not with trying to get you break up with him FIRST, and arranging meet ups with mystery girl..so i'd take the loss on the money, chalk it up to debts incurred in a relationship(that was your choice to support him, and we all have choices when it comes to money spending on SOs when in relationships).

 

I think you may be searching for something else that you are lacking, that has little to do with your no good bf. Proof of your worth and value, but realistically, that can only be developed by YOU.

[Pegasus]

My question isn't whether what I've done is right, but what the best course of action is at this point.

 

Honestly? You should stop dating until you grow up and stop playing stupid games. If making such 'pranks' is something that is acceptable for you, I can't really see that you have any prospect in having a healthy relationship.

 

About the guy - he is not here so his story could be totally different than yours.