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Just wanted to share that my SO and I got married (!!) a few days ago in a small ceremony with just our immediate families and my SO's best friend (he is an only child). We got officially engaged two months ago, unofficially this past July. We decided about 6-7 weeks ago that we wanted to get married more than we wanted to wait in order to plan a big party.

 

The ceremony was beyond my wildest dreams - I never imagined I would have so much love in my heart and stars in my eyes because I always imagined the nerves and the seriousness of the vows being a distraction (with anyone, that is, nothing to do with my husband). It was very serious but at the same time, I was so present and at one with him that it was very intimate, spiritual and emotional even though we didn't write our own vows. I was so surprised that I wasn't in the least bit nervous. Neither was he.

 

I chose a very homey, inexpensive restaurant that we love (and that I knew would be empty or mostly empty), also so my parents, who wanted to pay for the wedding meal, would feel comfortable.

 

Look, each couple has to do what makes them happy -- having planned a large wedding in the past (which was canceled), I had little interest in planning another one and felt the money would be better spent elsewhere (I'm also not big on people spending on presents for me, especially wedding type presents which are often expensive). Nothing wrong with a big party, it just wasn't for us at this time and even this small affair had its own planning stresses, surprising as that might sound. We have not ruled out having a party next summer but that's not something we will focus on in the near future, that's for sure.

 

I was surprised how many people assumed that just because we didn't want a big party, we would not have a religious ceremony or have anyone there to watch us take our vows. I think people too often conflate the wedding with the wedding reception.

 

The first few days of married life have been great and we will be living together permanently in about two months -- he is here for most of this month. Not the ideal circumstances but we knew we could take a short honeymoon now and have significant time together (and we didn't want to wait longer).

 

Hope75 posted awhile ago that despite living with her fiancee marriage feels different. I agree that it feels different - not radically different (although maybe it will who knows) and it's not just a piece of paper to us.

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CONGRATULATIONS! I am so happy for you. Your ceremony sounds absolutely lovely.

 

I hope you will share with us if/when you get pregnant! I know you want to be a mother, so I hope that that works out for you!

 

Your post was just lovely. I just heard today that a dear friend's marriage was on the verge of a break-up, and was feeling pessimistic about marriage in general. This post definitely cheered me up! Glad you waited until the time was just right.

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