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love hate relationship


Car Chick

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Ok, ignore what i had in here before. I have been thinking a lot and i think he's just a way for me to get my heart on someone else. I have strong feelings for a guy that I didn't think wanted me before. I realized now, I don't really want my ex. I just would rather concentrate on someone else so I can get over this one. Like they say, You can never get over someone old until you get under someone new. I don't want to be under anyone, but I want to be with someone so I can forget about the guy I really love. Except today, he kissed me. But I have the same age gap problem with him.

 

 

Old post:

 

I was dating this guy about two years ago. He was always there for me when I needed him. He was really fun and weird, which I like, since I kind of am too. He's really cute and flirty. He's great, except sometimes his kidding with me would go a little too far and I'd get mad at him. And then I suspected he was cheating on me because he was with another woman soon after. I still dreamed about him coming back to me for a while. Then I heard he was engaged to her (just heard, may no be true). Finally I got so angry at him, I thought the next time I saw him I'd just cuss him out.

 

Then last night I saw him again. He was really happy to see me. I didn't have a wedding ring on. He hugged me and I was kind of stand-offish because I was still mad at him. But then when I went home, I couldn't stop thinking about how cute his smile was when he saw me. I was really in love with him two years ago and I don't know that I am really over him yet.

 

I know if I date him again I am setting myself up for heartache, and making my mom angry since he's twelve years older than me, but I really want to try again. Maybe he's changed.

 

What should I do?

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he might still have his 'fiance' and want to cheat on her with you. that happens alot you know.

sounds like the guy doesnt have any sense of guilt and he plays women... you are just enthralled with his looks and ability to manipulate women.

 

there is an old saying that goes like this: "trust your instincts"

if you ever wonder what you should do then i hope this sentence you wrote somehow burns itself into your retnas just in case you might forget...

"I know if I date him again I am setting myself up for heartache"

 

you said it. not me.

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I doubt he'd still be engaged after all that time. And all I know is I HEARD (may not be true) that he was going to ask her. She might not have even said yes. I wouldn't go after a man that's taken. I'm wondering if I should if he's single.

 

And yes, I did say I was worried that I'd get hurt again, but what if he's changed. He used to ignore me after the break up. The fact that he was so nice to me last night shows he has changed in some ways.

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you need this. so i am going to put it to you point blank so you won't want to listen to it.

 

Stop making excuses so you can justify giving this guy another chance. In your head you are just looking for someone to get on here and say 'yeah you need to give the guy who cheated on you last time another chance, you two could be meant to be together'

and then you will use that to amp your courage and do something you know you REALLY shouldnt do.

A guy who has cheated on a past spouse once is bad enough, when that past spouse happens to be YOU then it should set off a few of the 'stay away from that effin loser' bells in your head.

be strong and dont fall for a nice smile and silly charm, he's already showed you what kind of man he really is on the inside. i doubt he has been given any reason to change. and if he was really into you to begin with he wouldnt have ran around with the woman he screwed while he was supposed to be loving you.

make sense?

sure it does.

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You're blinded by the cute smile. He still the same person, and he still cheated on you, and he still might have a steady girlfriend or even fiance or wife.

 

Don't get carried away on a few pheremones and a smile. At a minimum you need to find out if he's still involved with another woman before even thinking about this too much. One smile and you're off and running, but that doesn't mean he wants to date you again, or that dating him again will work out any better than last time.

 

Hold your horses and do some investigation before even contemplating this. If he cheated on you, he might be willing to cheat WITH you on his fiance, but that doesn't mean he'll leave her or turn into a good partner for you.

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I agree with the others. He sounds like bad news. I know how it is to be attracted to someone who is cute but not a very nice person. A good personality goes much further than looks do though, trust me!

How old is this guy? It sounds like he must be at least near 30. Guys that old often are pretty set in their ways. If he is already in the habit of cheating, he's likely to keep on doing it.

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How old is this guy? It sounds like he must be at least near 30. Guys that old often are pretty set in their ways. If he is already in the habit of cheating, he's likely to keep on doing it.

 

He's thirty one. But he's making a lot of changes in his life, so I don't think he's really set in his ways.

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You're blinded by the cute smile. QUOTE]

 

It's more than just his smile that I miss. He was really there for me when I needed him. He was always a shoulder to cry on and the one who could make me feel beautiful when I couldn't see it. He made me feel like I was actually not only likeable but loveable at a time when my self-esteem was at it's lowest. He was really a good boyfriend to me. He was going through a lot and I think he was just confused. He's been making a lot of changes in his life. Please try to give advice seeing in him what I do and not just automatically shooting him down. You don't know what he's been through in life and you don't know what a tryly kind person he really is.

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But you said he cheated, and he most likely has a fiance. You are off and running and all in a lather about him, and you don't even know his current circumstances.

 

That is the point i am making. It is also quite common for people who have cheated in prior relationships to cheat in their current ones. So all of this is moot if he has a girlfriend or fiance now. Even if he's paying attention to you and wants to see you again, if he is cheating on his girlfriend/fiance with you, you're in for a world of hurt.

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I don't think she is in the picture anymore. If she was, I wouldn't go near him. Also, I only SUSPECTED that he cheated, I don't know for sure.

 

Why is it you claim he cheated and now you say you only SUSPECT he cheated?? It seems like you are trying to make yourself be ok with all this, otherwise why would you continue going on about this relationship (And putting such emphasis on the age when noone else is..)

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Why is it you claim he cheated and now you say you only SUSPECT he cheated?? It seems like you are trying to make yourself be ok with all this, otherwise why would you continue going on about this relationship (And putting such emphasis on the age when noone else is..)

 

 

I should have clarified that in my first post. He was very close to another older woman right after we broke up so I figured to be that close he must have been with her for a while. But I think he was just in a rebound relationship with her because she was older so he wouldn't be getting all the crap about her that he did with me. At the time I was still only 17 so people were being really hard on him about it.

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Actually, a lot of other people are. That's what broke us up in the first place. He couldn't take all the trouble that people were causing for him because of my age.

 

Then the relationship wasn't that much to him. Because if it was he would have fought for it regardless of what people said. My fiance gets slack all the time because of our relationship, do you think he lets it bother him? No. Because he knows the relationship is worth the crap he puts up with from his friends and some of his family.

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Then the relationship wasn't that much to him. Because if it was he would have fought for it regardless of what people said. My fiance gets slack all the time because of our relationship, do you think he lets it bother him? No. Because he knows the relationship is worth the crap he puts up with from his friends and some of his family.

 

 

I was having a hard time with it too. I still loved him.

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But if you are going to be in a "different" type of relationship you have to bite the bullet and realize you are going to get crap for it by people regardless. If the relationship is built on love you can ignore those comments and move on and be happy together. You don't let something like that break up a relationship.

 

How do you think interracial couples feel?

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But if you are going to be in a "different" type of relationship you have to bite the bullet and realize you are going to get crap for it by people regardless. If the relationship is built on love you can ignore those comments and move on and be happy together. You don't let something like that break up a relationship.

 

How do you think interracial couples feel?

 

I know how they feel, I've been in one. I know that relationship can ussually still last through that, but he had a lot of pressure from a lot of things in his life and at the time he really had to cut out anything that was adding any undue pressure. The point is, that has changed now. My main concern is really if we can put the past behind us and just let our love grow, rather that worring about resentments or mistrust.

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No matter what if he values and cares about you, he will be in touch and try to make it work.. things have a way of working out... i am 28 dated a 20yr a yr ago... and we were just in differnt places.. and even we loved each other alot.. we somehow still grew apart...

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