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Clarification Help? Please??

Fall in love with meaning | Common ...
Fall in love with meaning | Common English Idioms #shorts

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Love is such a confusing thing.


In all of my 20 years, I have never fallen in love. Well actually, maybe I have... But...


Maybe I should expand. I always thought that love was like this:

Boy and girl meet eachother.

They become friends.

Time passes.

Boy falls for girl.

Girl falls for boy.

Boy and girl go out and have a romantic relationship. (:

The end.


But when I turned 13, something weird happened.

I had never had a boyfriend at that point. But I had a few best friends, and I loved them more than anything. I would have died for them. To emphasize, they were like the light that kept me going in a long and dark tunnel. But then one day we stopped being friends, and I was completely heartbroken.

It was my first experience with heartbreak.

I wasn't sure what it was at first, but it hurt a lot. I felt like my heart had been torn out of my chest. In general, I felt like I was dead. I didn't even realize how much I loved them until they were gone...

Well literally, they were still alive, but it felt like they were gone forever and a piece of me just went with them. Things were never the same since then. I was never the same since then. I don't think anyone ever is after an experience like that.


So when my cousin experienced her first heartbreak 4 years later with her boyfriend, I felt like I knew her pain. Without ever having "fallen in love" myself, I knew how she felt and could somehow relate to her.

Of course, she demanded to know who the guy that I experienced 'heartbreak' with was, and I told her my story. After explaining it to her, she said that I was wrong. That the love and thus heartbreak that she felt for her exboyfriend was different, and that I couldn't possibly understand the grief she was feeling.


And everyone I told afterwards seemed to think that love love was much worst than friendship love.


And that upset me a little. Their explanation still doesn't take away the pain from the past. Regardless, for a moment in time, I felt like my heart had stopped beating. I felt as though I could understand words like 'love', because I had experienced what it was like to be hurt by someone you loved. Just like happiness became clearer to me after I knew what sadness was.


So just to understand and define what love was, did I really need a boyfriend for that?

I started believing that love was love, no matter who it was for. It was something simple.

It was just those other little emtoions that got in the way and changed love into subcatories of love, making it complicated.


Am I completely wrong in my rationale????

Even though it was a few years ago, I'm still confused about it. I feel like no one understands what I'm talking about, either, and I'm too embarrassed to bring it up in conversation. To them, friendship is never mixed with love, nor is it as significant.

I also considered finding a guy to fall in love with just to see, but I don't like the idea of forcing myself to like someone, and in addition, I have no idea how to catch a guy's attention/interest anyway. So bleh. -_-;;

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It seems a hopeless point to debate, its far to subjective and personal. I mean even the feeling of loss one experiences over a boyfriend varies greatly from person to person, some people are devastated and some just bruised. It can depend on how long the couple went out or the experiences they went through, but there are i'm sure occasional cases where some one in a relationship that ends after a month can feel much more then someone whose year long relationship ended, based on certain variables.


Moreover, some people may feel they are devastated and heartbroken, but later discover that they had no idea what true heart break was until they experience something even more painful.


So I guess my point is no one can tell you how much you have hurt or assign a definitive numerical value of pain to one's loss, whether its a friend or boyfriend. I believe the loss of a friend does have the potential in some cases to be cause for tremendous heartbreak. However, who knows someday you may lose a relationship and think, I had no clue the amount of pain one can endure from the loss of someone romantically linked to you...So I may be overthinking this, hehe, It's a sickness

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Poets and song writers have written for over a millennium...

sussing out the meaning of..."LOVE".. trying to define it.

Trying to put mere words on paper to describe exacty

what this thing called love truly is.


Who hasn't picked up a dictionary and thumbed through to the "L"

section and looked up the definition of LOVE... and how many of us

were satisfied with that answer?? Lol... so what do we do. We

continue to look.. we continue to read... research... listen to music,

look at art.... talk to people... feel it.. touch it... experience it...

we google it.."What is Love"... and we look to define it and explain it.


And do we?


Well... some of us stop at some point... and we define LOVE.. as...

LOVE. and that definition might change and grow... it's meaning

grow's with us... and grows with our life experiences.


Loving my child.... well... it feels like having your heart

outside of yourself.


The love of a parent... the love of a friend... the love of an intimate.

All... slight variations of the same thing.


The difference between a friendship and a BF/GF or husband/wife

relationship.. the ONLY difference is the level of intimacy. You

express your love for your "BF/GF, husband/Wife.. " more intimately.

But it's LOVE never the less.


And we all "FEEL" differently. There is not scale 1-10.. really.. to define

whether you feel more love or I feel more love.


Can you LOVE a friend as much as someone else loves their lover? Yes.. you can. As the previous poster said.. a LOSS is a LOSS.. and you are absolultely correct... it feels like you are dying. It feels as if your heart has been ripped out of your body and you can't breathe.. you can't function.. you can't bear the pain. It is a death... IT's a death.. of a relationship. And the GRIEVING process is the same as grieving for someone who had passed away.


So... no need to experiment and play with someone's heart. When you are ready... and the right one comes along, you'll know.

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Love is an expression that is another for vunerability ...when we are vulnerable with someone then that means we are in love with them.


In a sense different forms of love ..friendship , family , attachment and a feeling of loss are inherent to the emotion of love .


The strongest form of love , is when we live our life through the eyes of our soulmate. We share are dreams and our loss.

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