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My ex hates me. What can I do?


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I saw her myspace today and she filled out multiple surveys. Some of her answers were things like I hate my ex and wouldnt care If I didnt see him any more, and I will hate him always and forever.

 

Heres some history as to why she might be saying this. She broke up with me because I was too controlling, and didnt treat her right towards the end of our relationship. I was heartbroken and apologized from the bottom of my heart so many times. I was nothing but nice to her for 2 months and tried to ask her back out twice etc. I really did alot of self improvment. and finally I just gave up because I wasnt getting anywhere at all. She was actually talking to me again and being nice after two weeks of NC and then things bad again. I made out with this girl they my ex knew and since than its been all down hill. She really didnt have the right to be mad since she had played me before I made out with this girl, and she had made out with someone to.

 

Anyway she bad mouthed me for a good two weeks, and finally I got overwhelmed and sent her a really nasty text saying all the things to a girl that girls hate to hear. She was obviously hurt by It so I apologized and have been going NC for a little over a month.

 

She thinks that I am talking to her friends and trying to get with them but thats not the case AT ALL. I feel like I need to tell her that I have no intentions of getting with her friends.

 

I just dont want her to hate me, i really didnt do anything wrong. She has been the one who has put so much pain on me since the break up. what am i supposed to do, continue NC or try and talk to her?

 

She likes someone, they dont go out, but I know she wants to go out with him. I just really dont want to be enemys with my ex

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Just leave her alone and move on with her life. There's not much you can do to make things better. It seems that you two don't respect each other very much. When you love someone, you don't try to hurt them, which is what you tried to do.

So just give her a lot of space. You two both need to heal. Take her off of your myspace friends. It's just causing you pain.

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Don't worry my dear...my ex hates me too........we have no control over other people's emotions we can only control ourselves......he probably was peeved at me for ruining his plans...he is the one who wanted to get married and even gave me a ring, he was dying to build me a house and fix up my monster truck to enter it in races and wanted to see me on the cover of 4-wheel magazine....but when i told him we couldn't get back together and I could do better on my own he turned purple calling me a ungrateful brat...blah blah.

 

He hasn't called or talked to me since and that has been 3 weeks today.

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If she hates you, so be it. I know it's a blunt thing to say, but by writing that nasty e-mail, you made the bed and now you have to sleep in it. My ex's ex would text her immature crap like "I hate you" "You're such a w**re" and things along those lines.

 

She left you and I'm sorry. I was left in the cold also, but as angry as I was, I never resorted to sending her e-mails, or flooding her with nasty texts. Yes, she was bad-mouthing you, but you have to be the bigger person and just rise above it. I took my anger out by listening to music, or lifting weights. You gotta save some face here. The apology and no-contact is a good start.

 

There's no need for you to let her affect how you feel anymore. She is not your girlfriend, and by the way you two are going back and forth, you are not even friends. As much as it's going to hurt and be difficult, you need to cut her from your life. No myspace, facebook, texts, emails, or phone calls. None of it. This doesn't have to be permanent. It has to last as long as it takes for you to heal. If you just give her some space and stop trash talking her, she won't hate you. Time really does heal.

 

Hang in there. Go for a period of no-contact. When you want to S**t-talk her, call a trusted friend, vent on here, write a letter and don't send it. Just don't do it to her. Although it will feel good, you're just shooting yourself in the foot and ruining your rep. You don't want to be known as the a-hole who just couldn't let go.

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  • 4 years later...

Dear Members,

I am new around here.. I just came over to share with you my heat-pain..

I am in love with someone for many years, almost a decade.. Let me explain you..

We had an affair that lasted about two years. We were so in-love with each other. We shared feelings that had never felt before, both of us.

Then, my boyfriend who was in a complicated phase of his life (he was retiring from his past job, started working with a large company, changed home, changed friendships and places-to-be), decided that he would no longer stay with me. No reason why. A few days later, I learned that he was already dating with my best friend. She was the reason..

I tried to heal myself, to go on with my life, although it was very difficult for me and the pain was unbearable.

I was learning from here and there that he was happy. At least, I should respect his choice and let him be happy with her.

I stopped contact with all our common friends, I disappeared from places we used to go together, I tried to take him out of my mind.

Of course, this never happened. Meantime, I had met a guy, who seemed nice to me, kind and trying to make me feel good.

As time was going by, and I had never news from my ex, although I tried twice, I decided to move on. So, 5 years later, I got married to the other guy, who seemed to love me. I had loved him, too.

One day, I saw a photo of my ex's marriage with my "best friend"... That was the worst day in my life!

 

A few weeks later, I contacted him. He seemed cool and nice, happy talking to me after so many years. We catched up for a coffee. And for a second and for a third... an so on... A year later, and after many coffees, we were in affair again. He got a divorce a few months later, and so did I. That was very painful for both of us, of course. And for our mates, who never learned about the affair, fortunately.

We planned spending our lives together, having a family, travelling around the world.

 

But one day, he told me that he wanted to change, that he needed to change his life and do new things. I tried to tell him that i would be by his side, if he wants to, but he said nothing. Then, a fea days later, after he had been ignoring me totally, he texted me: "do not text me, i do not want any contact with you". That's it.

 

I am left speechless. I cannot react, I cannot respond. I need him and I need the dreams we dreamt together. But now he's gone, I think.. Is he really gone???

 

Please advise me.. Should you have any ideas on how to win him back, please share with me...

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