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Lost friendship

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Hey guys,


I'm a guy, who really needs some advice, I hope this site is the right place to look for it, 'cause this is one of the few things that I can't (or don't want to) discuss with my friends.

So, here's the thing:

I had a very good friend a few years ago. In fact, she was more than a friend. She was one of my high school classmates. Let's call her Amy.

Amy and I were best friends. I mean, really close friends. We even dated for a few months, but but that's not important now. We had a really special relationship, even after we broke up. We meant the world to each other, we told each other everything. No one ever was so close to me. We were always together, we could speak on the phone for hours (even though I usually don't talk too much)

The problem was, we had huge fights, sometimes quite often. But even after our biggest fights, we just couldn't stay mad to each other.

Well, that went on for 2-3 years, and then suddenly, it all ended. We had a huge fight about his new boyfriend, he even wanted to beat me. Amy choose him, we still fought for a while, and then we just stopped talking to each other, and a few months later we went to different universities.


Now, two years has passed since the last time we talked, and I'm starting to really miss her. Lately, I keep having dreams about her, and they are starting to freak me out.

I just need to talk to her once again. To let her know that I'm really sorry about the stuff I did to her. I need to know what happened to us, and how she felt about these things.

I feel, that if we could talk just once again, I finally could let her go.


So, I decided to write her an email. But I'm afraid she won't answer me. I'm afraid she'll just delete the mail as soon as she sees my name. Or even if she reads it, she won't care about me.


So, my question is: What do you guys think I should write her, so that she'll reply? Any advice would be appreciated, I'm really confused right now.

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I sorta understand what you've been through. My best friend stopped talking to me two years ago, saying we'd "grown apart", and that she wasn't interested in friendships until she straightened herself out. I wrote her five months ago telling her how hurt I felt and how I really missed her. I wrote her three times, and I had no response...not even a "get the hell outta of my life." Which I told her I'd respect, if it was the case.


I say you need to be honest. If you feel you should apologize, then apologize. If you don't think you were in the wrong, then say as much. I didn't lie about anything I said to my friend just in the hopes to win her back, because that would be fake somehow. If this gal's really your friend, she'll appreciate what you have to say and will start talking to you again. I wish you the best of luck. =)

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Hey what i would do is not write the mail , right now but give it some time , like when you are less emotionally burdned , by the entire issue of writing a mail to an old friend.



But if you really want (proably you are going to mail her then i would keep the mail very short and more like an invitation to respond rather than a statement .


Like hey going through my old photos and came upon are photo at ....remember that day when...


and not like i was thinking blah blah ...as that would put her on the defensive .


good luck

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I would also suggest just to write a short mail/ email saying that you are wondering how she is doing and giving her your contact details. then it is absolutely up to her to decide what she wants to do - and you haven't outed yourself, or embarrassed yourself or put on kind of pressure on her.


I had broken someones heart many years ago and in response he never wanted to speak to me again. 10 years later i read about him on the web and took that as an opportunity to contact him, saying that i read his publication and was wondering if he still remembered me. I more or less got an immediate response and when he called me the same week he said, that he would rather like to see me than to speak on the phone. When we met up we discussed what had happened all those years ago. Although we are not in contact anymore now, it was really helpful and healthy for both of us to put some real closure on our relationship and the emotions that we experienced at the time.


Good luck to you

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