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Bit of a predicament… should I step back????


johnmmm

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Ill keep this as short and sweet as possible……..

 

Basically I meet a girl about 5 months ago. (We work together) Over the space of about 3 months we built a good friendship and sometimes got a bit flirty with each other but at that time she had a boyfriend so that was as far as it went….

 

2 months ago we meet each other while out and ended up sleeping with one another, the following day she broke up with her boyfriend and we started seeing each other casually. We get on really well with each other but I am conches that she is just out of a two year relationship so I didn’t want to push for anything else, so I just let things happen at the own pace…

 

All the time we have been seeing each other her ex has been constantly calling her and texting trying to get her back even going to the extreme of saying that he was going to kill himself!!!!…. After 2 months of this its looking like he is starting to ware her down and she has told me that she is considering going back with him…….

 

Personally I don’t think she is making the write decision and she is only going back to him because he has constantly harassed her from they split.. I know she is crazy about me and I really like her but I don’t know how I should go about this. Should I just step back and let her go back to what looked like a dead end relationship or should I try and talk her out of it????? thanx!!!

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I think you've learned firsthad why it is not a good idea to get involved with someone while they are still in a relationship with someone else. As the person she cheated with, you aren't really in a position to judge their 2 year relationship.

 

Let her know how you feel about her but ultimately it is her decision to make. Personally I wouldn't date someone who has cheated & would drop their longterm relationship just like that to be with someone new. Do you want to be him 2 years down the road?

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I think you need to tell her how you feel and what you want, but then see what she does. If she is even considering leaving you to go back to him, then that is not right, and she needs to either fully commit to you or commit and go back to him.

 

If she won't make up her mind, make it up for her and break it off. She may be the type of person that no matter what she has, she wants something else. You need to make it clear that you want a normal relationship, with no outsiders trying to break in and confidence she will shut him down if she really wants to be with you.

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First of all thank you for your comments..

 

I can totally see where a few of you all are coming from about the way she actually slept with me before splitting with her now ex boyfriend but I do feel we did just really click with each other. Iv been single now for around a year and have been on at lest two dates a month since becoming single…. Not one of the women I have been out with in this space of time has grabbed my attention like this girl. if nothing else I would just like the chance to see where this goes with her…..

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I do think that at least she broke up with him as soon as she slept with you so she didn't continue lying/cheating.

 

But I'd really talk to her and ask her what is going on and why she wants to go back with him. She needs to learn to make up her mind and stick with it, and not jerk other people around. She's not doing her ex any favors by continuing contact with him if she doesn't mean to go back, and she's not doing right by you if she's with you and thinking of going back to him.

 

Tell her it's a limited time offer, that she needs to make up her mind and get on with whatever choice she makes and stick to it.

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