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I started talking to a guy that I met online. I have been talking to him for 2 weeks. He wants to meet me and initially, I wanted to meet him too. He has it in is head to come see me this evening to meet face to face but, I am really not ready to do that. He is a very nice person, at least from our conversations on the phone and I have no desire to hurt anyone’s feelings. I'm not very experienced with the whole online dating thing. So, how do I tell this guy that I’m not ready?

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I agree with MissKitty.

 

You are best off meeting as soon as you possibly can and to determine whether there is a 'spark' there or not. Why invest time and waste time chatting online, only to eventually meet and discover there is absolutely no 'chemistry' and be sorely disappointed at the end of it all?

 

Saying all that, if you are not quite ready to meet him yet, then let him know that you are not ready. At same time, assure the guy that you aren't wasting his time, that you are interested and would like to eventually meet, but that you just don't feel ready yet. If the guy likes you, he will understand and stick around until you are ready...

 

But don't leave meeting up forever. I think that the longer you chat online/phone...it lessens the chances of ever meeting and of course there is always that chance, that the longer you put off meeting him, he will meet someone else online.....someone else who is willing to meet him and immediatley.

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Thak you for all the good advise. He has it in is mind to come and meet because I failed to have a backbone and tell him that I wasn't ready. That was my initail question. How can I gently tell him that I'm interested in meeting but comfortable just yet?

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Thak you for all the good advise. He has it in is mind to come and meet because I failed to have a backbone and tell him that I wasn't ready. That was my initail question. How can I gently tell him that I'm interested in meeting but comfortable just yet?

 

 

A bit difficult as he is coming over now. Just be honest with him and tell him how you feel. If he's decent he'll understand.

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But, I understand he is on his way to you now?

 

If you tell him to turn right round again it could end it as he'll feel like he is being messed about.

 

He is not on his way now. He has plans of coming up later on this evening.

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Thak you for all the good advise. He has it in is mind to come and meet because I failed to have a backbone and tell him that I wasn't ready. That was my initail question. How can I gently tell him that I'm interested in meeting but comfortable just yet?

 

OK. Well I'm gonna be honest and say that I've 'flaked' on a guy online before and three days before meeting....I didn't leave it as late as you, to 'flake'

 

Guy in my situation, well we'd been chatting for a while, he wanted to meet and I'd said I would. As the time drew near, I got a really bad case of nerves, just knew that I wasn't ready to go through with it and I didn't know how to tell him and I'd felt real bad having to tell him...

 

To be honest, I'd just made up some daft excuse not to meet. Can't remember exactly what I said now, but he hadn't been too happy, had assumed I wasn't that interested in him and I felt real bad for having let him down. I'd just told him that I was sorry, that I was genuinely interested and I'd assured him that I did want to meet him, that one day we would meet. He'd been real upset, even disappeared on me for a couple of days, but then he came back, said he'd understood, etc, etc.....again he got reassurrances that I was genuine and serious, for at that time I was.

 

Mind you we never did end up meeting....but that's another story

 

Thing is, you are going to have to let this guy know and ASAP!!!!

You can't have him travel all that way and you aren't there to meet him.....that would be really unfair on him and is a total waste of his time.

 

I know a guy who travelled a long, long way to meet a woman and she failed to show up.....he was devastated!!

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Wish I had D Lish, a woman I met up with from on-line turned out to be a psycho and virtaully kidnapped me. A very scary experience and I was lucky to get out of her flat intact.

 

LOL....have you a thread about your experience? Would like to read it...

 

That's the thing....we never know who is at the other end

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