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me or my ex initiate first?


arg

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i've been broken up with my ex for over 4 months now. I was in NC for a few months. She had attempted to initiate contact with me a few times over IM but i ignored them. I took that time to heal. A few days ago she sent me an email in which she said lately she was having some memories/reminders of me and that she missed talking to me and having me there and realized how important i was to her. She asked if we could catch up on things innocently, nothing serious of course. So i accepted her offer and told her to get a hold of me whenever she would like to get together. She ended up calling me 10 minutes later and picked me up and we went for a ride. We had a relaxing chat, caught up on sum chit chat about life/school, etc. nothing about our relationship or anything. We laughed a little and shared a few memories. It was nice to see her. This whole time while we were apart with NC/LC, i made sure that she would do all the initiating whenever she contacted me if she was willing to do so. Not once did i give in. She emailed me again today, and asked if we could get together again and catch up some more. I replied back and asked if she meant she wanted to today or whenever and she responded back saying not today, but sometime this week. She told ME to get a hold of her when i had sometime. So this time it seems like she wants me to take initiative or something. I think she always expected me to come crawling back or give in since i was usually the needy one in the relationship. i was needy and desperate and begging when the break up occurred but since then i backed off and let go and i think in a way that opened her eyes i think.

 

I dont want to come off desperate now. i do want a second chance with her to try to make things right, and since the breakup i have gotten better as a person and have been making the necessary changes to better myself. My emotions for her, even though i still love her, are more controlled then they were before and i believe that was proven by how i was when i was around her the other night. i am aware that a chance at recocilliation may never come and i am aware of that and ready to accept that fact but i would like to keep the ball rolling a little bit for now and see what happens.

 

Basically what im asking right now is that since she asked me to get a hold of her sumtime this week to hang again, should i? or should i just wait for her to give in and contact me again. I'm trying to be a little close but a little distant from her so i dont get trapped into the friendzone which i believe is what she wants right now. She has been going through some personal problems these few past months so i am aware that this is most likely her reaching out for some emotional friendly support. If all else fails i could also just cut all ties with her for good and walk away, but i would really do that if i 100% knew that there would never be any potential for us again. So ya, what should i do?

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hey there

 

I think you should contact her if she has asked you to, don's play games..

 

However having been in your place, if you still have strong feelings for her and hope to get back together I would stay away from her unless I know she feels the same and then have more friendly catch ups to see if it could work out again

 

But I wouldn't go on catching up with her not knowing what she wants ( and don't take guesses) this will only lead to you going steps back in the healing process and having your heart broken again when you realise it was just some way for her to get emotional support and nothing more

 

Talk with her and tell her how you feel without sounding needy..make her understand you do not want her around if she still feels the same as when you two broke up as you are doing good now and don't wanna go back to when you were so attached..

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Dream about your ex
Dream about your ex

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