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LAYAAN
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Hello,

I'm communicating with someone on a dating site. "I must have someone who is mature and experienced as a potential sexual partner and is able to express himself/herself freely." I asked for clarification. He wrote "Maturity and a lot of experience is required in a relationship especially where sex is involved. The act of sex makes or break a relationship and you will need a dynamic person who can teach and learn the art."

I 30, haven't done it with anyone yet, and plan on waiting for 5-6 months into dating before I can consider doing it. I was wondering if I should close this match b'coz he is looking for a partner that is sexually experienced or should I tell him clearly that "I'm still a virgin and I haven't learned my lessons in this business. I'm willing to learn with my partner but I prefer to wait, would he still be okay with it?"

Thanx.

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In dating sites, typically when someone writes stuff like that, they are looking predominantly for sex rather than a relationship. I would most certainly advise you to close this match. Even if you were sexually experienced I would say the same thing if you were looking for more than just sexual encounters. People who are looking for an actual relationship rather than just a hook up will write about who they are as a person and would not carry on ad nauseum about what they expect sexually. This guy is just trolling for sex. I am not sure what maturity has to do with anything..maturity has to do with state of mind, not sexual experience. This guy is not worth wasting your time for.

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thank you for a rapid reply. He selected this option in his must haves. I was thinking of closing the match after reading his must haves but I said, okay, I'll atleast ask him what he means by that and he clarified what he means by that.

He is on EH. people on EH are mostly looking for a relationship rather than just hook ups.

Yes, even I didn't get what he means by maturity.

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thank you for a rapid reply. He selected this option in his must haves. I was thinking of closing the match after reading his must haves but I said, okay, I'll atleast ask him what he means by that and he clarified what he means by that.

He is on EH. people on EH are mostly looking for a relationship rather than just hook ups.

Yes, even I didn't get what he means by maturity.

 

Well, these days people put profiles everywhere. EH is probably just one of many places he could have a profile. Judging from what he is writing, he might even have something on those looking for sex sites. Perhaps this guy is even married and looking for fun on the side. I remember someone I knew was attracted to someone's profile who was more subtle about the sex angle but his meaning was pretty clear. When she met him he put the moves on her right away. When men and women make a big deal out of sex in a profile, this is pretty much their prime motivation..they want a sex partner first and then maybe, just maybe, a relationship...but the sex is first and foremost.

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Was that guy in the Denver area? Because I closed a match with a guy that was talking a lot about sex too. It creeped me out, but at least I figured that made life easier. Would have sucked to meet the guy, and like CAD described, to find out he was like that!!

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No, he is CA. middle to north CA. He didn't talk about sex particularly, he had something about it in his must haves so I asked to clarify. I mean a normal man n a normal woman know that sex will be involved in courting at some point but I couldnt get the part where it read "I want an experienced woman" so I let it go. I didn't understand why he needed to mention it separately.

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