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What do you do if there is noone to talk to anymore?


zJakez

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Hi, this is my first time to try asking for advice online but since I had nobody to talk to anymore. Let's me start at the beginning.

 

Well, to put it simply I decided long ago not to have a family but instead live a single life. I just like hanging out with my closest friends but now all that changed. Each one is having a family of his own, others are too busy with jobs, or girlfriends. Three months ago, was the wedding of my brother. Last week, was a wedding of one of my high school friend, and on January will be another wedding for another one of my high school friend. Even my bestest friend is too busy with his job and his girlfriend. The last time that we hung out together was on May.

 

Now, I'm finding myself all alone with all these mix feelings. I don't even feel like drinking anymore which I enjoyed so much back then. I want to yell out and say F!!!!! and yet I can't even do it. I don't have anyone to talk to anymore. Everyday, worked, went home, watched tv and that's the end of my day for the whole week.

 

So, what do I do now?

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You know, the most biggest reason why people retire into a life called family life is because the older you get, the more alone and lonely you become... Because when everyone goes about with their own stuff, your family stays along... so advice is, start up with having a girl friend. And yeah, there are people who have lived life completely without a family or anyone else.. But you sure dont seem the type... or else you wouldnt have come here to say this....

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dont take this feeling as a sign of retiredness or weakness.... Its just time... if you dont change with time, the times will change you.,.. thats just what happened... you might initially find it hard to accept in front of your friends, but ultimately all this dating and loving and family is fun.... go on...

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Some people enjoy this kind of solitude. I do. If you don't, then something inside you is telling you it's time to move on with your life and'grow up'. How do you do this? Well that's entirely up to you.

 

That's a good one.

 

I would like to add that other than perhaps looking at building relationships, you may also want to simply do the things that you want that makes you happy. When I shifted to a different area and I practically had no one around me, it made me realise that my happiness depended rather significantly on having company pretty much all the time, which wasn't bad per se. I guess if anything, it made me think that perhaps I should learn to do things on my own and actually enjoy my own company...find different activities to do and hobbies to pursue. Then people started coming in my life eventually, and relationships were formed from that.

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Well, to put it simply I decided long ago not to have a family but instead live a single life. I just like hanging out with my closest friends but now all that changed.

 

Don't you see that there is a contradiction in your statement: just because you chose not to be in a romantic relationship and not to start a traditional family of your own, you nevertheless chose NOT to be alone, but with your friends instead. - That's the decision that you made.

 

If you want to stick with that decision, you simply have to start making new friends. But you have to be prepared that most of them will most likely have a relationship or be looking for one (that's just simple statistics).

 

So while you are looking for some people who like you might not want to be in a traditional relationship/family to hang out with as your alternative family, you simply have to prepare to accept that you will most likely always have to share your friends with their families.

 

Of course alternatively you could truly decide to live a single life, in which case you should get used to SOLITUDE: i.e. just hanging out and going through life without friends. Not necessarily what I would chose, but nothing wrong with it.

 

Or you could simple just bite the apple and take up the struggle of finding someone who you want to be your family, like all the rest of us ;-)

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I'm right there with you. I've never wanted to have a family either. Most of my friends ended up getting pregnant before they got married. I remember when my first friend got pregnant it really freaked me out. And yeah, as your friends get married and move on with their lives, they seem to quickly fade out of yours. I rarely talk to my friends that have significant others, and by rarely I mean once every few months to maybe even once a year. I only have one friend that's married that I still hang out with. The friends I do have left now are absolutely horrible at giving advice and all they ever want to do is go out to the same bars and drink until they're wasted, which usually ends up in not so fun situations. Luckily, I've always enjoyed my alone time. As others have suggested, you should try to get some hobbies that you can do on your own. I play tons of video games, work out, and read. I even, rarely but every once in a while, go to the movies, out to eat, take vacations, and go to concerts by myself. Oddly, a lot of the time I have more fun by myself.

As far as there being no one to talk to, there's always the option of finding more friends (which I know is easier said than done). Personally, I just find people to talk to on-line. It helps fill the social gap when none of my friends in real life can hang out, or when I'd rather have unbiased advice, or when I have something I need to get off my chest that I know none of my real friends would have an insiteful opinion on. So, if you ever need someone to just talk to, feel free to add me to messenger or send me a PM.

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Lost the Love Of Your Love? Watch T...
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