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Read something interesting Ladies. You Agree?


PJPaul

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Is Being Ambitious Always A Good Th...
Is Being Ambitious Always A Good Thing - Powerful Tips to become more ambitious in life

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The article describes what happened to me perfectly and at this point that women for some reason only like jerks. Makes no sense but whatever. The most important thing i got out of it is that women need a challenge which is why it seems like women get bored with nice guys. Im a nice guy which equals boring to women. I recently got screwed over buy a woman.....errr gurl that i truly loved and treated like a queen. guess being treated right is boring and she left me for buttwipe. again makes no sense but what ever. I realize that women complain that "there are no nice guys" when the burn nice guys for a more "exciting guy" (which is cold and heartless) makes no sense but again.....whatever. I hope women realize that they kill nice guys and create jerks by "wanting excitement" and a "challenge"

 

In my heart I truly want to be nice. Its in my nature to be nice and i want to love a cherish a woman till death. I want to be that one guy that satisfies her every need, that one guy that's her everything and i busted my ass to be for her....Obviously she didn't care because that's not fun nor exciting and women want to have to work for there men or have a constant challenge and other stupid childish stuff. I though women matured faster then men? *sigh* sucks that it has to be this way. I truly just want to be me but I'm nice and wanna do right by women, but ya'll don't want that so fine. I'll make it a stupid little game for you so you can be entertained

 

I hate it. I really do but i don't wanna be old and alone for being nice, for being me, respectful, and loving. That gets me nothing but heartbreak. If i have to be someone I'm not just appease you then fine. Hope you like your new "entertainment"

 

:sad:

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I don't think its fair to generalize since not all women feel that way but I can attest to that fact that I myself have been bored with guys who didnt have obvious flaws. However, that had nothing to do with them but a lot to do with me. Who you are and what people would prefer you to be is always about them. I don't think your ex just prefers bad guys. In her mind she just probably wanted him more than you. That doesnt have to be because you werent bad enough. I have quite a few friends who love good guys and I also have many friends who would prefer the thug for the excitement. You just havent found the right one yet.

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Most self-described "nice guys" aren't.

 

What women like is confidence. Being nice or not has nothing to do with it.

 

 

I would agree with that, all the way. The nicest guys I've met have been the ones considered "bad" and the worst guys I've dated have been the ones considered "nice" each is pretty subjective.

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Don't throw in the towel just yet, or change up your game because your bad experiences. When I was 20 I went through the samething - hell, I am experiencing that same fate now. Dating is just tough work.

 

But I've noticed that as I've gotten older, I've gotten a lot wiser, stronger & cared a lot less about what people make of me. I am only concerned by what God thinks of me. You can't please everybody. And if you do decide to change, you'll notice that even as you become a "jerk," still, somebody isn't happy. thereforee, the transformation isn't worth it.

 

If you're a good young man as you say.. some woman out there will love to take your ex's place someday.

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i don't like nice guys. i like guys who are funny, respectful, gentle (with me), sexy, and a little shy (with me). nice doesn't do anything for me.

 

I think what she means is that she doesn't want some "run-over me with a mack truck and it's still cool" kind of guy. Someone who's nice but not a doormat at the sametime. And that I can understand.

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I wasn't try to generalize but, what am to do? idk maybe im losing my mind cuz i feel betrayed. And I hear what your saying i guess, but im not unconfident. I know who I am. I like who i am. I know i have my issues but i recognize them and i know with time i'll get better. I just feel like for some reason im not what women want. I dont want i jerk of women. How hard can it be to find a women that doesn't want a jerk of a man. And yes i call myself nice cuz i see these guys out here taking advantage of women and treating them like dogs just for there self absorbed pleasure and i dont like nor want to be like that. You know what, its fine thou. I know who i am. i know my potential and know that given the chance i can be a great man. Im not perfect but perfect is unhuman. Im not gonna be fake to appease immaturity. If being me causes me to be alone so be it. But i know that im tru to myself. Lord knows how bad i want companionship, loyalty, and love but if that's not meant for me then i'll live. I was mostly venting and re-reading my post it sounds silly to change for silly gurls. I apologize if i was disrespectful, or offended anyone. Just kinda sucks. Just alot on my mind and have my bad days, sorry

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I think what she means is that she doesn't want some "run-over me with a mack truck and it's still cool" kind of guy. Someone who's nice but not a doormat at the sametime. And that I can understand.

 

Thats is what ive gotten the most and truly understand. Maybe it just had to take me getting screwed over to learn my lesson i guess\\

 

EDIT: Maybe it just had to take me getting screwed over to learn my lesson.

1st order of business is not saying i guess all the time. reading it makes me sound unsure of myself. Im learning guys i just need some time

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I like to think that the phrase "nice guys finish last" is really a reference to how to be in the bedroom with a woman.

 

I'm a big believer in the law of attraction, and that it is more important to focus on what type of person you want to attract as opposed to changing one's self to attract someone..I also think that those we do attract are really reflective of ourselves and what we put out to others..

 

I would encourage you to continue being who you are and exploring who you are and what you want in a partner. Knowing yourself and what you want will attract the right woman for you, and allows one to confidently move around in the world..

 

I will also say this is easier to say than practice, but don't all great things require work??

 

Being jaded is never attractive (it's a struggle not to become this way, I know) so I hope you don't fall into that trap, good luck!

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You're hurt right now, we understand. Maybe you should examine who you're typically attracted to and why. Perhaps you exclude good women also.

 

very good point. haven't thought about yet, too busy being mad/sad/confused

 

U guys are truly helping. and im trying not to take my frustration out on u guys but i have to let stuff out sometimes :sad: ive been bottled up b4 and it didnt turn out to good

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very good point. haven't thought about yet, too busy being mad/sad/confused

 

U guys are truly helping. and im trying not to take my frustration out on u guys but i have to let stuff out sometimes :sad: ive been bottled up b4 and it didnt turn out to good

 

Sometimes people miss out on the right one by setting limitations based on race, size, hair length and color and other things that really dont speak to the character of a person. Being creatures of habit this often leads to a cycle and could quite possibly be the reason why so many of us wind up on ENA with issues relating to our former SOs.

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Sometimes people miss out on the right one by setting limitations based on race, size, hair length and color and other things that really dont speak to the character of a person. Being creatures of habit this often leads to a cycle and could quite possibly be the reason why so many of us wind up on ENA with issues relating to our former SOs.

 

so true... i think if guys were less superficial they would realize that there are a lot of girls out there that are right for them. however, our society points out a specific girl that is seen as "attractive" and most guys blindly goes for it, whether the realize it or not. its really limiting.

 

most guys really don't care about a girl's character as much as they should, its no surprise the girls they interact with don't either. the right girl for a guy with character will be a girl with character. she won't like lowlifes any more than you do, PJ. you just have to be strong enough to know whats really important and act accordingly. and BY NO MEANS do i mean go after the ugly duckling, i'm just saying keep an open mind about the girls you meet. the ones you think are right for you might be the wrong ones and vice versa. we're too young to have it all figured out. give different people a chance.

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I don't really see how it is the guy's role to give different people a chance when we are the ones who are approaching... We pick who we approach and we pick who we ask out. However in the end it's the people whom we pick aka the females that decided whether or not we have a chance.

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I don't really see how it is the guy's role to give different people a chance when we are the ones who are approaching... We pick who we approach and we pick who we ask out. However in the end it's the people whom we pick aka the females that decided whether or not we have a chance.

 

thats not true at all... its not all about your random bookstore encounter where you approach a girl (you do choose who you approach by the way, its not just women making a decison). i'm saying if you meet a girl you find attractive, don't limit yourself by saying "well shes just not my type" or "she probably wouldn't be into me." so many guys do that. a lot of it has to do with personality. for example, a lot of guys might pass up on a shy girl because they didn't think they hit it off in their first conversation. sometimes it just takes a little time for people to open up. thats what i mean by giving people a chance.

 

honestly, so many guys get drawn into the coy, attention-seeking type girl just like guys say girls only go for bad boys. a lot of girls don't get hit on NEARLY as much just because they don't act cute and submissive all the time. i find that a lot of times, these are the best girls around. so again, keep an open mind.

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The problem with this article is that they are putting 'nice guy' into the same category as 'doormat'. At the end the writer says that to keep a woman you have to put yourself first. I believe that's true. Doormats are the ones that put women before them and bend over backwards for her. I honestly don't think that putting yourself first makes you a jerk.

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The problem with this article is that they are putting 'nice guy' into the same category as 'doormat'. At the end the writer says that to keep a woman you have to put yourself first. I believe that's true. Doormats are the ones that put women before them and bend over backwards for her. I honestly don't think that putting yourself first makes you a jerk.

 

Thats what i did......thats what i do wrong. Thats what i have to learn. I can still be nice but at this point i realize that i over do it

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i think there is a difference between being a nice guy and a jerk...there's a middle ground that guys seem to miss...the assertive, take charge, won't be taken advantage of guy...

I don't like jerks but i also don't like being with a guy who thinks it is his job to take care of me and meet my every need, it's boring and really i can take care of myself.

I don't want to make all of the decisions, i don't want you to anticipate my every move...i want you to tell me what we're going to do some times, i want you to tell me to stop whining and get it myself some times...

i don't want a jerk who has no soul or compassion for others...but i do want a guy who can stand his ground, who has his own life and interests and isn't looking for me to be his everything or to satisfy my every whim...

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I hear u kuiks8. From some reason the things that you just stated you didn't like i thought women wanted and I though the thing u stated you wanted a man to do i though women hated. I see now that i needed this relationship to fail, so that i'd end up on here and learn my lesson. I can be quite hard headed and need to learn things the hard way sometimes.

 

I'll eventually stop feeling betrayed and hurt and know that what happened is in some way my fault, which sucks but its life

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I hear u kuiks8. From some reason the things that you just stated you didn't like i thought women wanted and I though the thing u stated you wanted a man to do i though women hated. I see now that i needed this relationship to fail, so that i'd end up on here and learn my lesson. I can be quite hard headed and need to learn things the hard way sometimes.

 

I'll eventually stop feeling betrayed and hurt and know that what happened is in some way my fault, which sucks but its life

 

Well i am glad you made it here and are open to learning from past experiences but there are always two people involved in the breakdown of a relationship...always two people no matter what the circumstances...so don't be so ready to take on all the blame.

 

Without judging you're still young, you will have lots to learn and as long as you are open to learning more about yourself and the women around you i think you will do just fine...

 

Heartbreak and break ups are never fun but if you choose to see the lessons and learn from the past you can go on to do many great things in your future...

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Heartbreak and break ups are never fun but if you choose to see the lessons and learn from the past you can go on to do many great things in your future...

 

very true. I've been so busy being upset i really wasn't able to take a step and look at whole picture. But i really am trying

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And don't feel bad about coming onto ENA. You took the next best step which is to educate yourself. This is what we all do on here. Some of us are married or have significant others but we chose to come on and here people's problems and give advice. Other times, we need people to talk to and help guide us on the right track. For those who condemn this site or think it's "beneath them" to seek input from others... these are the main ones who have continous relationship problems because they fail to seek help for themselves. You're 20 & you're starting off early. Good job!

 

I can honestly say that what a woman wants is a case by case study. Every woman doesn't want the same thing. That's why we have to learn to adapt, read and understand who we're dealing with.

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Women don't want jerks, I get so many stupid come ons from guys who either don't have respect for women or think that that's what women want and considering that half of them look like fish out of water when they are acting like sexist jerks I am going to guess that they came to the conclusion that this is how they should behave.

 

The very things I cherish are truth and trust.

 

You can't trust someone who lies and puts on a mask. Just be yourself and the right one will find you hun, don't be fake because that way you will only find fake women.

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