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yep I rode the horse today and realized...


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that all the while during my lesson and while being at the barn...

 

I didn't think of the exbf... just once!!, I did not!!!!!!!!!!

 

yay for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

when I got ready to leave and walked to my car... it occurred to me I hadn't thought about him the entire time while riding, while at the barn... yay for me!!

 

but I was sad coming home... drifting snow, cold weather, dark... wondering what he is doing... but then I rebounded and thought "onward babe... to a man who wants to be with you...

 

but honestly... I really did not think about him for like 3hrs today while at the stables... it was great.

 

maybe I'm healing.

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I've found that animals have a wonderful healing power and doing something you enjoy and have to focus on (like learning to ride) can be very cathartic.

 

Glad you had a good day.

 

You're so right about animals possessing a very unique healing power. They have a very calming effect!

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That's fantastic!!

 

Congratulations!!

 

Well done!!

Must've really been a good feeling to be able to get on with your life and not have him in your thoughts all the time.

 

How long ago did u break up?

 

he walked out 4 weeks yesterday. I relapsed bad on Thanksgiving and called him crying begging for him to call me. He did not. He emailed me instead and said "please stop calling!!!!!!!"... with 7 exclamation marks.

 

That did it for me. I realized at that point there was no going back. I needed to give myself permission to heal and move on. This guy is cold hearted... however sweet he was to me while dating, he is extremely cold hearted... to walk out like he did after a year and can't even pick up the phone to talk to me while I was in such pain.

 

So I made a decision on Sunday... to let go of him. I took a drive for hours and I cried...I said goodbye to him... not that I wanted to... but in order for me to heal and in order for me to have any peace I had to. I had to say goodbye to him in my head... and it was hard, and it's still hard... but it's seems easier since Sunday... since I made that decision.

 

but he helped I guess. I don't deserve that coldness... I did nothing to hurt him... and the fact that he can't even be there for me just a little bit while I grieve this breakup is heartless, and it's ruthless... and it scares me that I dated this man for a year.

 

So it's been 4 weeks and I'm doing better. I do miss him, I do... but I won't miss this hurt when I am done... and I have a full life despite of him.

 

and with the horses... i find it ironic... cause the Saturday after he walked out...I had my lesson and I was so sick for that 1hr...that I quit after 50min and my trainer felt so bad... and today I trained for 2.5hrs... I did not want to get off the horse. Life is so weird... we do heal... but we have a choice in it... we need to make the choice to let go and let other people and things (like horses) come into our lives and fill the hole... and they will... so I learned today.

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