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my boyfriend's past really bothers me...It's hard to except it. i mean he went through alot, and i know that, and i try not to fight with him, because i know its over nothing....i mean the fights are completely stupid. i have no idea why we even fight. i mean i dont know if im just a bitch..or im just a terrible girlfriend, or if i just cant except things...? can someone please help me? just tell me what I am to do? because i know i dont want to fight with him, but i always do...i hate it, because i love him... thanks... ~*~Kaitlyn~*~

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Past: No longer current; gone by; over.

 

This is something that he cannot change no matter how much you wish it would or how much he wants it to change.

 

If you continue to argue and fight with him for things that occurred before he and you were significant then you will do nothing but poison the present.

 

If you keep bringing up the past... your's and his relationship will be just that... past.

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look, im NOT going to make this breif because i know exactually what you are going through, if you want to listen, go ahead... if not... thats ok...

 

when me and my bf were going out.. we couldnt stay away from eachother, than we started fighting so much about stupid things, *mostly me fighting... 11 months passed... and he dumped me the first day of summer.. having sex with 2 of my best friends.. to think they just came over my house the night before... (how stupid was i not to realize they were only my friend to get to him).... the whole summer my life turned around... I lost 8 pounds... making me 95 pounds... for a 17 year old thast alot... than after i stopped bothering with him (which was hard) he called me... i didnt give in... i always said i gatta go. things like that... and well he proved to me that he changed... its been a year and 5 months that we have been going out. and i still bring up things like "wow...that girl looks like emily (one of my "friends" he had sex with) hmm would u #*#$& her???" stuff like that.... and he would always say. jess im sorry i was wrong... and you know what... i dont bring it up anymore... people think im so stupid for going back out wtih him. But THERE NOT ME... so who cares... so many girls STILL try and make up lies,, saying he flirts with me blah blah blah... i flip out on him so much, than come to realize... he got that class changed 3 days ago. I yell at him for no reason all the time. but im better now.... look

 

im not saying if you love him, let it go

im not saying to just forget everything - because you never will - or it will take a very long time.

what im telling you is... think about this: you have to live and learn, if he didnt do "whatever he did" in the past. would u want him to be with you and think what it would be like to do "whatever he did" all the time. Honestly I think you should rather have him go through with it than to sit there all of his life and think about it. he came back didnt he?

Theres always time for forgiveness... and people tell me " oh be there friend who cares if they had sex with your boyfriend"...

 

I DO!!! thats horrible, thats the number 1 rule your not suppose to do!... but you know what... would i want him sitting there when hes with me saying "wow i wonder what its like to be with ****" - whoever...

 

Its hard to make sense of these things because i dont know what the problem is. but im saying. forget it... leave it in the past. if he learned from it... than thats a good thing. life goes on and you dont live forever dont ruin a good relationship over things he did before... think about the future and live up to that... because if he decides he doesnt want to see you anymore. or vise versa. Than what would you do?

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