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She hates me


Rosesc

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My mother hates me. She made it especially clear today. She said that she didn't like talking to me, telling me what to do, or just being my mom in general. She said she was sick and tired and to just get an education and move out of her house.

 

I felt bad when I heard her say that. But I think I am more angry than sad. I think most daughters would feel terrible if their moms told them that, but somehow, I don't feel as though I was as devastated as I should have been, though I did feel terrible. I hate her now.

 

When I was younger, she acted inappropriately when I was having a problem. My best friends had ganged up me and criticized my personality until I cried. They broke my heart, and since then, I've been extremely defensive when it came to changing myself for others. The sense of injustice that it left in me has haunted me until this day. My mom/family, unfortunately, cannot see anything good about me and keeps criticizing me again and again just like my friends. Mostly it's about me being lazy, but it's more than that, obviously. She just doesn't like me, and I feel really, really bad.

 

I wish I could ask someone if I'm really as bad as she thinks I am. Everyone seems to be attacking me all the time, because I find myself constantly fighting for myself. I feel completely misunderstood, and I hate myself. I totally sound like a victim/dramaqueen right now, and this is making it worst. Not only do I have problems with my family though, but I also have problems with friends, love and just relationships in general. Is there something wrong with me?!? I am considering becoming a hermit on some tropical island and excluding myself from society- permanently.

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You are not bad. Neither is she, probably.

 

You may both be just going through something craptastic.

 

How old are you? Sometimes in the teenage and early 20's, you doubt everything about yourself and see nothing good there, but you are SO misguided! You are growing and developing into something really wonderful, but need to go through the process of maturity, to get to the other side.

 

I am a mother and sometimes mothers just don't know what to do. Sometimes, they feel like they have done everything in their power to raise their kids the right way and keep them grounded and still the kids don't do what they think should be done. Right now, with my sons, I feel like I can't do any more with them. I don't hate them, but I can no longer help them because they don't want to listen to me. I feel like I should put a HUGE distance between us because all the sacrifices I have made have made no difference. They don't care and they won't change. What else can I do but give up?

 

Maybe your mom feels a bit like this. She REALLY loves you, but maybe doesn't know what else to do, how to handle you, or which way to turn...

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Rose,

My son, 13 has told me he hates me...wishes his Mom was still alive cuz she'd understand what he's going through.

 

Do I believe he hates me...NO. Is he going through a tough time...YES. Are we there for each other...not all the time, it's tough.

 

Can you possibly see things through your Mom's eyes? What does she go through?

 

Just some ideas for you, not being judgemental at all.

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