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What's the best way to get over a break-up?


SweetiePie05

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So I've been with a guy for the last what little more than 4 years and he left me for someone else about 2 months ago. He still calls me and wants to be friends. But I am just not over it yet. I don't understand it at all. He tells me he loves me and sees us getting back together "once his life gets back on track", but he is taking the other girl out and hanging out with her at the same time. I'm beyond confused and messed up right now.

 

He invited me to go to another Christmas dinner with his boss and wife like we did last year. Of course I want to go, but it's just so weird. He took back my engagement ring and everything.

 

The reson we broke up was cause he said "I don't want to be in a relationship right now" (but he's telling the other girl he loves her, and callin her "sweetheart")

 

I'm STILL not over it and I wonder how he got with her so fast and what's going through his mind?! He won't tell me anything about anything besides he wants us to be friends and doesn't want us to fight and he loves me.

 

How do I get my mind straight! I told him I went on a date last night (I didn't go anywhere last night lol) but I'm just not ready to be with someone else right now, this hurts way too much!! I don't even want to look at another guy right now. I did some mean things after the break up talking to other guys and he found out....so that makes things a little harder but how do I get over this and what is he thinking??! lol

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I would suggest ending all contact with him. Honestly, it sounds like he wants to keep you on the back burner while he explores what else is out there. Read some threads on here about the "Grass is Greener Syndrome". This sounds a lot like that.

 

Most of the time, when an ex wants to be friends and says things like that "he sees us getting back together once his life gets back on track", they are trying to let you down easy, and want to keep you around so that they can have their cake and eat it too.

 

From what I have seen, if you stick around him, he is never going to come back. He will move on, and you will be crushed. If you separate yourself from him completely, it is likely (although not guarunteed) that he'll come back. However, you need to think long and hard about why you'd want to be with a guy who treats you like this. I know you don't think he's treating you badly right now, but your feelings are blinding you, and I can tell you for a fact that he is mistreating you. Don't put up with it. Don't let him string you along. You're better than that.

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OMG. please stop what you are doing!!!!

i have made the same mistake as you and seriously all you are doing is hurting yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

END ALL CONTACT.

because you guys had such a long relationship and he dumped you for someoen else says enough. when he says "i still wanan be friends" just means i still want you in my life and im weak so i need you to cushion me through this rough patch so i can get over you.

 

He's using you to get over this relationshiop quicker meanwhile also sleeping with another woman. This stupid guy is clearly confused and by you still talkin to him is giving him all the power and making you seem so weak.

 

You are a beautiful woman and does not need a man like that to drag you down. you have more self bleieve than that.

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What about the things I did with the other 2 guys? Did that just make things worse? I didn't do anything with them physically but we talked on the phone alot and sent alot of text messages, I went and got coffee with one of them. He saw the messages when he took my phone back. The only reason I talked to them was cuz he was talking to her. He doesn't believe that and he believes I've been sleeping with them (he's the only guy I've ever had sex with fyi)

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Wow honey....I've been there....actually I'm there right now but we actually got back together about 5 months ago. He broke off our engagement and broke up with me to see a woman from work. That went on for about a month and then he came back saying he wanted to work things out. I can tell you from my own experience.....it's going to take alot of forgiveness on your part and the ability to move on. I'm struggling with this. I'm having big trust issues with him and I've lost that sense of security I had knowing he would never leave me. Now I know that he could and maybe would again. It's hard. You can't get yourself down for what you did with two guys after he already broke up with you for someone else. He did this....not you! Be strong and do what's best for you!

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