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I was doing so well. NC is helping. I'll never see him again and slowly I am okay with this. He will never contact me. I am getting out, keeping myself busy, trying to do things with myself.

 

Then, I had a dream about the ex.

 

This hasn't happened in ages! This one was so vivid and my brain woke myself out of it I think. He found me walking to work, grabbed my hand and told me he missed me. And talked to me like we used to. I said I was hurt and he said he knew that, but continued talking, telling me about Thanksgiving with his brother.

 

Last night was good, too. I went to bed early, sleep decently until waking up from this dream 15 minutes before my alarm went off.

 

I just need to push this aside and not think of him today. This just makes it a little harder. I'm frustrated at my subconscious this morning.

 

A step in the healing process, or a step back, I wonder?

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Your not alone. I had so many dreams about my ex for the first few weeks. And just like you they were very vivid. It took a couple more weeks but just like coolgirl said something just pops and you wake up no longer that upset. It's like you just deicide screw it I'm not letting this keep me down anymore. Hang in there it will get better. I didn't believe it when everyone told me but it really does.

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I had one right before I woke up, tried putting my hand on her leg like I do when we go driving (we were driving in the dream) and she said something like "it's over" but it was actually on the TV when I woke up. It's really bringing me down right now. * * * * dreams.

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I know, I know. It's just getting me a bit down today. I was doing well earlier this week, yet the last couple of days have been hard. I'm lonely, but wasn't missing him really until the damn dream. I will get over it and look ahead, I know. But right now, it's a little harder than usual.

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I think we all get hit with one of those dreams every once in a while. I have been 4 months NC and totally accept we are done. But, the love we had was beautiful and the dreams take me back there. Anyway, I just try to be still when I awake and accept the sadness that sweeps over me. For me, the odd dream is just another way my mind/heart are purging themselves of what was there for that other person.

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Yeah jen I can understand why you're down. I have dreams about him sometimes (I pray before I fall asleep that I wont) and wake up so happy. Then I realize it's not real and it completely crushes me. It happened the other day and I spent my entire day crying. Sucks so bad but I guess it's part of the process.. at least that's what they all keep saying!

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The process is starting to piss me off to say the least. But if it will help me in the long run, that's good. Like we have a damn choice in the matter anyway. I see all of us here seem to be great people though, going through all kinds of * * * * .

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