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Have you ever been backstabbed and it cost you a potential relationship?


Lowconfidence

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At the end of first year University I ended up losing a whole group of friends because of gossip and lies. Unbenownst to me this caused a fracture between one group of friends and another, who really haven't spoken since.

 

Second year of University I went in having to make a complete fresh start, which really sucked.

 

I still don't know what the rumours were. All I know is that the person who started them liked to put others down behind their backs in order to make herself look better.

 

In fact since I signed up for Facebook, every 3 months the girl who started the rumours, has been trying to add me as a friend. I am all for forgiving and forgetting, but I have no interest in being her friend again.

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I'm not really motivated to protect my reputation, so if they say something, i just say, "Possibly". I don't think I'll be saddened by loss of friendship. I value trust, and if they couldn't even have their own stand on what I'm like and see past the gossip, then I don't think they're even qualified to be a friend.

 

However, I don't hear much gossip about me though. I don't hide my worse side of me to people, so there's nothing to gossip about me.

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I would be tempted to tell the person who was fed the lies that it was untrue, and they can choose to believe whatever they wish but you will not sit by while someone defames your good name.

 

And to the person who ruined your chances, I would inform them you know what they did, there is no need for denying or arguing about it, and in the future you would appreciate it if they minded their own business.

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