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Lost the Love Of Your Love? Watch T...
Lost the Love Of Your Love? Watch This!

It's been hell trying to get over my ex. Lately, I've been having panic attacks and wanting to break my strict NC. It's been over a month now. Not keeping track of the days, I just remember the last time we spoke was before Halloween. I've been struggling because I know she's moving on and I'm not sure if I am.

 

I don't think I'm letting go. I've done everything from changing my numbers and blocking her on everything. She has no way of contacting me. I don't know why I am having a hard time with this. I tell myself over and over it's over and that I need to stop this. Today, I caught myself finding excuses to break NC. More so than ever. Like I need to get this back from her. Or I need closure. Or I want to blow up on her. Or I need answers to this.

 

My brain and heart are working against me here. Like 95% of my brain thinks of her and 100% of my heart belongs to her. I do not like this at at all. That 5% of my brain also thinks of her, but thinks of RIDDING myself of her. I've been working on self improvement and trying to cope in various ways. I know ENA helps the most because people who are in pain know or can empathize what I'm going through. I try to help others as much as I can, yet I am barely managing practicing what I preach.

 

It seems that my prolonged pain is progressively getting worse. It's like I'm addicted to feeling like crap and wanting to break NC. I'm walking a very dangerous line and I do not like this at all. I recognize my problem, but can hardly formulate any plans to stick with it and pass it with ease. The emotional roller coaster is very turbulent and taking it's tole on me. Trying to fight each second as if it were my last.

 

Every cell in my body is screaming for survival. Every ounce of my heart bleeds for her to come back. I do feel right at all. This attachment is very unhealthy and I do the best I can with what I have. The holiday season is not helping at all. I'm trying to keep busy and not give another thought to her, but as usual. A good portion of my day belongs to her. Almost to the point of an obsession.

 

I'm trying really hard to break the addiction and fight the hunger for her. I hate feeling like crap when I wake up or at any given point of the day. Feeling like I am kicked in my stomach. Feeling dirty and disgusted. Having my heart way like a ton of bricks. Crying my eyes out when I need to. Pushing forward alone and in the dark. Are these symptoms of a break up? Or is it lots of depression? I know has life has harder issues, but my break up at the moment supercedes everything else.

 

It is my main problem, my main focus. I can't just brush it off so easily as everybody tells me to. Everybody makes it sound so easy, but this is the damn hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. Sometimes I feel like giving up and let everything consume me. Instead of fighting it. Just accept it and break. Yet, another part of me says to fight it and to keep fighting. It's a small part of me and I listen to that. Sometimes that part just disappears and all I'm left with is insecurity and false hopes.

 

As you all can tell, I need some support right about now. I'm sorry for relying on you guys for so much. I don't have anywhere else to turn to and confess my broken heart. Thank you for everything!

 

I know I am being a broken record. Everyday my threads are becoming more and more similar. Pretty much needing support or stop me from breaking NC.

 

=/

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Push....I am not recommending breaking NC...but I know sometimes it has actually helped ME heal faster by breaking NC and seeing what a jerk my ex is..or them being cold to me. I know THEN there is no chance of it working.Before that I held all this hope in me hoping they missed me etc. Contacting them is sometimes like getting ice cold water doused on your head....it's a wake up call.

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Push....I am not recommending breaking NC...but I know sometimes it has actually helped ME heal faster by breaking NC and seeing what a jerk my ex is..or them being cold to me. I know THEN there is no chance of it working.Before that I held all this hope in me hoping they missed me etc. Contacting them is sometimes like getting ice cold water doused on your head....it's a wake up call.

 

I rather not break NC. She cheated on me and I'm having a hard time accepting that this is who she is. How to let her go for good and move on.

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Push....I am not recommending breaking NC...but I know sometimes it has actually helped ME heal faster by breaking NC and seeing what a jerk my ex is..or them being cold to me. I know THEN there is no chance of it working.Before that I held all this hope in me hoping they missed me etc. Contacting them is sometimes like getting ice cold water doused on your head....it's a wake up call.

 

Mending, this is exactly what I did and boom! It jumped me further ahead in the healing process when I thought it would set me back. My ex was a cold jerk to me and I lost pretty much all respect for him then.

 

Wake-up call, indeed.

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Push

 

I think there is MAYBE a case here for calling your ex. You seem to have alot of issues you still need to settle and need to gain some closure. After i month you're still in a bit of a state. Can breaking nc to gain some needed answers or closure actually make you feel worse than you've been feeling over the last few days?

 

Just a thought.

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I don't think I should break contact. I'm hurting bad. I think any form of contact with her will utterly destroy me and start me back on day 1. Or worse.

 

Progressively getting unmanageable. Not sure if this is supposed to happen this way. Having a hard time coping/healing.

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Lame explanations that don't make any sense and I found everything else on my own. The cheating, the lies, and yes of course. Learning that I should have went NC and stayed NC.

 

That's where I'm having trouble right now. Sticking to NC. I'm always having a fight with myself to not break it.

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Lame explanations that don't make any sense and I found everything else on my own. The cheating, the lies, and yes of course. Learning that I should have went NC and stayed NC.

 

That's where I'm having trouble right now. Sticking to NC. I'm always having a fight with myself to not break it.

 

 

 

It was never going to be easy man, far from it. Possibly one of the hardest things you'll ever do. What you doing today to keep busy?

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I am in super panic mode right now. BAH.

 

This isn't going away. I feel so stressed out and overburdened right now. I don't know why all these feelings are taking a hold of me. I am not resilient enough to handle this alone. I'm too damn over sensitive for my own good. I feel like somebody is pouring battery acid on to my heart and having it drip into my stomach.

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Hang in there - the first month of NC is sheer hell but it will get better. On the anxiety front 3 tips: 1) exercise - getting the heart rate up and releasing feel-good endorphins can alter your state; 2) breathing - check out any of John Kabat-Zinn's stuff on becoming mindful and fighting anxiety via the breath; and 3) gravol - its non-addictive and very easy on the system and will slow that rapid pulse and ease the burn in your gut. You will survive this and come out the other side a better person and a better future partner.

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Hang in there - the first month of NC is sheer hell but it will get better. On the anxiety front 3 tips: 1) exercise - getting the heart rate up and releasing feel-good endorphins can alter your state; 2) breathing - check out any of John Kabat-Zinn's stuff on becoming mindful and fighting anxiety via the breath; and 3) gravol - its non-addictive and very easy on the system and will slow that rapid pulse and ease the burn in your gut. You will survive this and come out the other side a better person and a better future partner.

 

Thanks. I am trying really hard to keep my mind on not breaking. I'm over the past month now. I'm easing into month 1.5 HAHA.

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Keep it going push its okay and normal to feel all that your feeling you are not going mad! It will suside, no one ever finds this easy we are all in the same boat here x

 

Thanks, for the thoughts and words.

 

I feel so retarded. The past few days, maybe weeks. I've been coming here. Being a broken record and spouting the same thing. NC is very hard. If I didn't have ENA to help me, I'd be way worst off. My mentality is taking a beating right now.

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Thanks, for the thoughts and words.

 

I feel so retarded. The past few days, maybe weeks. I've been coming here. Being a broken record and spouting the same thing. NC is very hard. If I didn't have ENA to help me, I'd be way worst off. My mentality is taking a beating right now.

 

Dont worry about sunding like a stuck record! We all know how hard this is and we are all here for you, if you need support you have to ask for it and theres nothing wrong with that at all. You are no retard!

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I'm not being hard on myself at the moment. I just dread thinking about her and constantly debating or stopping myself to break NC. This is a bad addiction and it's hard to beat.

 

How do you quit somebody you love? I'm trying really hard to fend this off alone and with the support of ENA. I feel so crappy that I still know important details to her life. She is going to Korea for Christmas. She is visiting her mom. She got to emotionally detach herself from me. Why is it always about her? My life still revolves around her and how bad I feel. I really need to break this thought pattern.

 

I am going to my hometown which is a 4 hour drive away. I need to visit my dad's grave. I haven't been there in ages. I am going to hang out with old friends and hopefully have a good time. I am struggling to live in today. It's hard dreaming with a broken heart as John Mayor would sing.

 

I don't know why I'm having a pity party almost everyday. I really am getting tired and frustrated with it. I'm sure that's part of the process. This whole process is mind numbingly insane! I'm going crazy! WHOOOOOOO!

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We all can so relate to you at the moment, been there done that....it's just a month, I've been broken for 10 mnths and still feel the pain....but go easy on urself fella....stick to NC....dont make mistakes I did.....dont breAK NC..you wont get the answers you want, it will only set you back my days and you wil have to again pick up the broken pieces of your heart.

 

Come here..talk to us..we are with you in this healing.

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We all can so relate to you at the moment, been there done that....it's just a month, I've been broken for 10 mnths and still feel the pain....but go easy on urself fella....stick to NC....dont make mistakes I did.....dont breAK NC..you wont get the answers you want, it will only set you back my days and you wil have to again pick up the broken pieces of your heart.

 

Come here..talk to us..we are with you in this healing.

 

What did you do to cope? How long are you in NC?

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What did you do to cope? How long are you in NC?

 

Well I've been in recent NC overa month, until today when I bumped into my ex at a rally, we didnt speak a word and he gave an expression of anger and resentment.....don't wan2 read much into it though...

 

As far coping is concerned, I cried buckets, whined to my friends till they got bored, went into self pity mode, eventually in time got bored of all this and got my feet back on track.....took time....can't say am fully healed, but the bad days are less....this all happened cause of NC...and a resolve that I demand to be TREATED BETTER. Once the self respect kicks in, things gets easier.

 

 

Hang on, it's a bumpy ride.

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Well I've been in recent NC overa month, until today when I bumped into my ex at a rally, we didnt speak a word and he gave an expression of anger and resentment.....don't wan2 read much into it though...

 

As far coping is concerned, I cried buckets, whined to my friends till they got bored, went into self pity mode, eventually in time got bored of all this and got my feet back on track.....took time....can't say am fully healed, but the bad days are less....this all happened cause of NC...and a resolve that I demand to be TREATED BETTER. Once the self respect kicks in, things gets easier.

 

 

Hang on, it's a bumpy ride.

 

I'm a month into this and I'm not at where you're at.

 

=/

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