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I need a plan of action.


Jim2007

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So I have Social Anxiety which everyone on this site probably knows because I post here all the time. I've been seeing a therapist and she's trying to change the way I think. The problem with me is I'm a big introvert and rarely ever socialized when I was younger. In fact for grade 9 and 10 I trapped myself in my room, literally and all I did was play video games. Anyways In the situation I'm in now I'm 21, unemployed, and don't go to school. I feel like every single day is like watching a rerun on TV. I wake up do nothing, eat, go on the computer, go to the gym, and sometimes go to a friends place at night. See I learned a few skills in therapy but I don't get the chance to apply them to real life because i don't go out. So what would you guys recommend I do? It seems stupid to say just go to the mall and walk around with no purpose. I need some sort of action plan, I'm going to discuss this with my therapist but my next appointment is in a week and I want a head start. Any suggestions?

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Start really small. Expand your friendships by numbers, ex. if you only have one friend tell him to invite another friend over and learn how to be comfortable around three people then just increase the numbers and situations, go slow, humans freak out when change is too abrupt, change will be a gradual slow thing but thats the only way it can work in a heathly way, start opening up to people, examine your narcissism, we all have it but it seems people that are anti social at the bottom of everything just arent interested in anyone else, or dont know where there interests in people lye

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...? It seems stupid to say just go to the mall and walk around with no purpose...

 

Stupid to you or your afraid it seems stupid to other people? do you feel anxious when making eye contact and smiling to strangers? if you still do its a good start. and practice holding eye contact with females to see if they look away first.

 

last time at the mall i walked around and decided to sit down by myself, with no real purpose. i did feel out of place but i pretended i was waiting for old friend if anyone asked. of course my intent was to talk to females as they walked by, pretending to be acquaintanted with them. I greeted one who walked by close enough but she ignored me. yes it was aimless and stupid, but it was practice extroverting and being emotionally detached...not reading others minds about what they think of me and not being critical of myself based on their action/inaction. another time i had lunch in the food court by myself and noticed a female having lunch with someone. we exchanged a few glances but the someone i couldn't see i wrongly assumed was a boyfriend. i went into nice guy mode and proceeded to avoid eye contact and flirting with danger. when they left it turned out the boyfriend was a female friend. i should've smiled, waved, pretended to be acquainted through work/school/etc.. that's kinda my action plan for now. whether its at the mall/school/bar/club

 

this site has some interesting personal development reads.

 

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You gotta make it happen and put yourself out there. Don't just wait for a situation to develop your social skills to just happen, ask some friends out for a beer, some pool, a movie, go for coffee, dinner, anything. Just call and say "hey, wanna hang out this weekend?" "have you seen that new movie?" "there's this cool band playing at this place.." etc.

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Get over it. I was shy too, and I still am to a point. Don't let video games be your savior. Video games don't have vaginas. I think that's what you want, so go out and get it! You won't get in at home. And learn how to get her G-spot! That will put you right in if she's that kind of a woman, but you'll need to know it anyhow in order to have lasting great relationships.

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5 Ways To Become More Self-Accepting
5 Ways To Become More Self-Accepting

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